“Are they out there?” Victor asked.
“I don’t see them,” I said.
“I think we lost them,” Kota said, sounding breathless, leaning against the seat. “Only I got worried when we made a circle in one department store trying to shake them.”
“Sang, it’s alright. You can sit,” Silas said. His finger jab me in my side. Unfortunately it was the side that was bruised and I wasn’t expecting it. I winced and cried out an ouch before I could catch myself.
Silas’s eyes widened. His large hand pushed me back up against the seat, holding me there. He lifted my blouse away from the top of my skirt. I could feel cool air on the bruise and I shivered.
“Where did that come from?” he demanded.
“I...”
He let go of me, turning his body to face the door. His hand clutched the handle. “Turn the car around.”
“Silas,” Kota started.
His fists clenched and he spoke through his teeth. “I said turn it around.”
“It wasn’t him,” I said quickly. I felt eyes fall on me again. I swallowed, feeling my stomach twisting. “That’s from yesterday. Greg never touched me.”
The car fell into silence. I turned around, sliding into place and sitting back.
“Was it from Max?” Kota asked in a quiet tone.
I averted my eyes, focusing on the back of Victor’s seat. “Yes,” I said quietly. I felt my lip quiver and I bit at it to stop it. How to ruin a friendship in less than a day? Lie about your injuries and get the guys into trouble over some stranger. I felt the anxiety clutching my chest. This was it. They’re going to get rid of me the first chance they got.
“Let me see it again,” Kota said. The power disappeared from his voice, replaced with something assuring, gentle. “Sang, let me see.”
I got up like I had been before. Silas assisted me with raising my shirt up a little. He tucked two fingers into the top hem of my skirt and pulled it down an inch to reveal the splotch of purple.
Kota made a face. “Sang, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”
I shook my head at him. “No, it’s just a bruise. There’s nothing to do about it. Just wait for it to heal.” With my pale skin, I knew the bruise probably stood out more.
He made sweeping looks at Victor and then at Silas. Silas was unreadable. Victor continued to twist the steering wheel as he drove. I quietly moved back into my seat, reaching for the seat belt to strap it in.
Silas reached for my hand holding the belt buckle. “You don’t have to wear that if it hurts.”
I shook my head. “It’s not that bad. Really. You just surprised me.”
He let go, allowing me to buckle in. I noticed he didn’t strap himself in. I wondered if it was because he was so tall that it didn’t fit.
“What I want to know is how that guy got so close to you.” Victor’s baritone voice nearly rose an octave. “Wasn’t she with you, Silas?”
“It’s not his fault,” I said. “He was taking care of the tray when Greg walked over.”
“He had enough time to tell you his name and go with you down that hallway. What were two doing in there?”
I blushed, touching my lower lip with my finger trying to remember. “I... I was going for the restroom. I went looking for you all but didn’t see you. I thought I’d slip into the bathroom where he couldn’t follow me.”
“You’re probably lucky you didn’t make it,” Kota said. “If he was determined, he could have followed you in and if no one else was around...” He made a face and then he shook it off. “Next time just walk into the guy’s bathroom if we’re in there.”
“No next time,” Victor said. “We’re not going to leave her by herself long enough to let ‘Gregs’ be a problem.”
I wanted to cut in but they sounded so angry with me. I wanted to bring my knees up and bury my head in it to hide the fact that I was blinking back tears. I forced myself to look out the window. The trees and buildings whizzed past and it was making me dizzy. There was no way I would let them see how upset I was. I was glad they were safe. I was unhappy that my first real adventure out turned into such a disaster.
The car fell into silence as Victor pulled into traffic on the drive home. At some point I dared to look at the others. Victor was still fuming but he seemed intent on staring straight ahead at the road. Kota appeared busy with his phone.
Silas was glaring out the window. His jaw was set. His fist was clenched so tightly, he was crumpling the music book in the bag between us. I didn’t want him to ruin Victor’s music sheets. I reached over, placing a hand softly on Silas’s forearm.
Silas blinked, turned his head slowly and gazed down at me. I brushed my fingers over his fist, taking a hold of the other side of the bag. When he realized what he was doing, he forced his fist open. I took it from him and in an effort to ease the tension, tried to smile.
His eyes fell on my face. His lips parted until I could see his teeth and his cheeks flushed. He offered a return smile. It disappeared again. He turned back to the window.
I managed to calm myself a little but was still worried about what everyone was thinking. Ideas ran through my head. They were thinking how terrible it was to invite this girl along. They wondered about the best way to ditch me, possibly ignoring me the whole semester.
I tried to quiet my thoughts but it was so upsetting to think that I may have just lost the first friends I had ever come across. My parents wouldn’t have to learn about this day and I wouldn’t have to worry about telling them about anyone I’d met. No one will want to invite me over any more now. I wanted to say I was probably being paranoid this time, too. It wasn’t working. Who wanted to bring a girl around who would attract trouble and needed to be babysat? I should have been the one to know what to do against unwanted attention.
While everyone was distracted, I smoothed out the slight crumple from Victor’s book. The bag opened a little and I took a peek at the title.
Winter by Vivaldi.
That night, I was awake in my own bedroom on top of the covers on my bed, and staring at the ceiling light. I was probably burning out my eyes.
The car ride home had been completely quiet. Silas barely looked at me as he left the car. Victor dropped me off at my house before going to Kota's. His car was still parked in Kota’s drive. I’d been at the window of my room a million times just to try to get a glimpse of them. There was a trail of ruffled mauve carpet between my window and my bed. I’d wondered if at some point I could take a walk outside, pass by Kota’s house and see if they noticed but it seemed like such a stupid move. Would I look pathetic and needy when they were trying to just quietly tell me to keep my distance? I’d cried a little when I got home. My eyes felt cold and I probably looked like a mess. I wouldn’t want them to see me like this.
I turned onto my side. My bed was pressed up against the wall near the closet. There was a small bookshelf against another wall, only half filled with worn novels. A green trunk sat under the window. The only odd part about the room was that against the wall near the window was a small half door that lead to some attic space.
The closet held only the small amount of clothes. My father usually bought clothes for us as my mother never went out.
The selection that belonged to me was slight. I was smaller than my older sister so we couldn’t swap clothes. Sometimes she passed down a t-shirt or pair of jeans but it was rare.
There wasn’t a poster on the wall. No collection of photos. No decorations. The slightly faded pink flower wallpaper were a luxury compared to my last bedroom, which had stark white walls. I thought of Kota’s bedroom and how similarly we kept the large space in the middle. I wondered what he would think of my room and then found the thought pointless. He could never come to my bedroom and as it was now, I wasn’t sure if he would want to.
Before yesterday, my room felt like the only safe spot. If I stayed inside it, my mother couldn’t complain and punish me. Now that I’d had a taste of freedom, of meeting people that were so nice to me, it felt more like a prison than ever. Despite the fight with Greg, thoughts ran through my head of the guys and how they made me feel. It was amazing. I wanted more.
The phone rang downstairs. I turned the music up a little on the stereo box at the foot of my bed.
“Sang!” My mother call out from downstairs. “Phone!”
My eyes shot open. A phone call. Me?
I dashed down the stairs, and thundered through a hallway into the kitchen. My mother stood barefoot on the tile, wearing a dingy mauve robe, her two tone blond hair pulled back in a sloppy ponytail behind her head. She was shorter than I was, but broader shouldered and slouching. Her glassy blue eyes blazed at me. She started to hold the cordless phone to me but just before I touched it, she pulled it back, reconsidering her position.
“Who’s calling you?” she asked me. Her voice was scratchy and sharp.
I shrugged. I really had no idea. “Might be from the school?”
She thought about it and slowly relinquished the cordless phone to me.
I nervously took the receiver. Please just go back to your bedroom, I thought. Her eyes shot lightning in my direction. I knew what was coming.
“Hello?” I said into the phone.
“It’s Silas.”
My heart fluttered so hard in my chest it was difficult to keep my feet on the ground. I tried to look unimpressed. My mother was still staring at me. “Hi,” I said.