“That’s not what I meant,” I said. “I didn’t say I needed space. I just…needed…”
The elevator shifted behind the doors, reminding me we were a little exposed in the hallway, and I quieted. Once we got to Fancy’s suite, it would be difficult to talk; I needed to hear him out.
And tell him everything.
Yet would it do any good to tell him what I needed to tell him about Blake, and about how I felt, out in the middle of this hallway?
Axel motioned for me to keep quiet as we tiptoed to Fancy’s door.
He knocked. We waited.
Nothing.
“Is she out?” I whispered. If she was still out trying to weasel information out of people via flirting, could she come back? I hoped she wasn’t inside with someone. I didn’t want to walk into Fancy and some guy in her room.
“Shh,” he said and pulled a key card from his pocket. He used it and opened the door a crack, peeking inside. He opened it further, stuck his head in. “Fancy?”
No response.
It was too dark for me to see into the room. My heart pounded, and I kept an eye out down the hallway and toward the elevator and stairs. I felt exposed out here; even this early in the morning, someone could still be walking around, like Colt.
Axel flicked on the light and stepped inside. I shuffled in behind him and quickly closed the door.
The suite had a small sitting area, but the couch and coffee table were overloaded with two trunks of clothes. There were also clothes and towels on the floor, and some dresses on the bed. The couch was covered in bikini tops and underwear.
The bed was empty, freshly made except for the clothes on top. She hadn’t been in here all night.
We stepped further into the room. The door to the bathroom was open, the inside dark. Fancy wasn’t here.
“Where is she?” I asked. “At a bar?”
Axel crossed the room, looking inside the bathroom, turning on the light. He spoke, but not to me. “I need a location on Fancy.”
He listened as he inspected the bathroom. I waited by the suite’s main door, just in case.
After a moment, he turned to me and said, “She’s in the pool. I thought those closed at night. She’s still with her guy. They can’t get her to respond right now. Maybe she can’t say anything without drawing suspicion from her target.” He stilled for a moment and then winced. “I don’t know if you want to know what they’re doing.”
I hoped Fancy wasn’t feeling pressured to do more than she wanted—especially not for my sake.
“We’re sure she’s not the one who threw me overboard?” I asked, even though I knew the answer. I probably would have noticed her fingernails or the clink of the jewelry she was wearing. She was so flashy, there’s no way I wouldn’t have recognized her.
Axel bent into the tub and cleared out some wet towels, tucking them into a corner. He pulled the shower curtain aside further. “The first time when Blake went over, she was talking to one of the guests in the hallway. I saw the video. When she went in with you to find out where he went, she left you to go down the hallway into a second balcony. She returned when Doyle said you needed help, but got there too late. Didn’t see anyone. She checked every room along the hall, screaming after you until a few of us got there to calm her down.”
I was suddenly very sorry to have even suggested it. She drove me crazy, but she had a solid-gold heart. “She knows I’m back, doesn’t she?” I asked.
“They’ve been trying to get word to her,” he said. “She knows you are alive, but I don’t know how much she heard about you returning.” He stood in the doorway of the bathroom, checking around the room again. Her suite had an ocean view, and he went to the window to lower the privacy curtain. “I don’t want to leave you alone, but I might have to go get her, and the others are busy on the other side of the ship.”
“We should go after her,” I said. I took two steps further into the room, feeling like a lump of dirt among all of Fancy’s pretty things and in her nice suite. I was afraid to touch or even sit down in case I shook off all the sand.
“No,” he said. His dark eyes looked right at me, and he pressed his lips together. He was trying to make a decision. Finally, he nodded. “We should stay. She might never come back up here. I don’t want to risk running into someone like Colt with you right next to me. Doyle can’t watch ten of us and direct us all at once. We can’t risk exposing to anyone that you’re back.” He paused, his gaze trailing up and down my body. “I can’t risk leaving you alone.”
The strength in his tone at that last sentence sent warmth to my heart and cheeks.
“How come she goes out on her own?” I asked.
“She can’t have someone like me or Corey hovering around her while she’s trying to flirt with people. It would be too noticeable at this early hour to be lingering in the same areas.”
Perhaps he was right. “Maybe we can just stay. We don’t even know if she’ll be back soon.” I pointed to the bathroom. “Is it safe to shower? Can you stay nearby just in case she comes back?”
He looked at me from across the room, a hard stare, his expression stoic. He was impossible to read.
I was about to say something else when he moved quickly toward me.
Again, I stood still. We were alone, him and me, no one else.
He dug the earpiece out of his ear as he came up to me. He put it in his pants pocket and then reached for my shoulders.
I let him, anticipating another hug. My heart went wild.
His strong hands held my shoulders, and he looked at my face with those wide dark eyes. “I should never have let you go alone,” he whispered. “I should have been there…followed you…”
“It’s not your fault,” I said. “I had Fancy with me. It was my mistake asking her to check things out down the hallway and not going with her. And Doyle was listening…”
“Blake had Doyle, too,” he said. “It wasn’t enough.” His hold on my shoulders shifted, smoothing up to my neck. His hands drifted until he was cupping my cheeks again. His head tilted toward mine. “We broke the rules splitting up, and I knew it. I’ll never make that mistake again.”
I pressed my lips together, and as my brain was telling me I was getting too close again, my heart was pounding and I was drawn to his touch.
I knew I was gross and needed a shower, but I couldn’t help wanting this. He didn’t push me away. I leaned my face against his palm, pressing my cheek against it.
It was a small move, but he drew me closer to him, and his lips met my brow. I closed my eyes, simply feeling him as close as he was.
He whispered, “Tell me I haven’t lost you.”
What could I say to that?
Still, I knew the truth. I couldn’t keep it from him. We couldn’t fall back into the mistakes I’d made before.
I pulled away gently and met his uncertain gaze. “I’m not lost,” I said, “but we do need to talk.” Just to show I meant it, I took his hand from my cheek and held it, tugging him toward the bathroom. “Stay nearby while I shower.”
His jaw was firm and his eyes remained on my face. He followed me into the bathroom.
Fancy’s suite was large, with a full-sized tub and extra space, so the two of us were cozy, but I had room to move around while he leaned against the counter.
I had to close the door to make room. The air within the bathroom was damp. With the suite being on a higher deck, I noticed as the ship rocked slightly.
I froze when I caught a look at myself in the mirror. The hoodie did little to hide my mess of hair. Dark shadows were under my green eyes. I felt like a lump of grossness. My cheeks were splotched red.
I sighed and touched my forehead, feeling the sand and dirt at my hairline. The moment I did, I felt thousands of grains of sand on my body, like little gnats biting at my skin. I started scratching all over until I was raw and couldn’t stand it anymore.
I raked a fingernail across some sand and found
it painful to peel it away. After a few tries, I turned and surveyed the room for soap and a clean towel.
Axel remained quiet, leaning against the door frame as I focused on myself for a few minutes and what I was doing. Fancy had a few shoes and clothes piled up near the sink and on the floor. She had a brush and makeup off to one side of the counter. The ship provided a hair dryer and some shampoo and soap. Luckily there was one clean, dry towel left.
There was a wet towel on the closed toilet. I peeled the towel off the seat and dropped it on the floor so I could sit. I pushed the black sweats off my body, stripping until I was naked.
Axel watched every move. He’d seen me naked before, but this time, he didn’t bother hiding the fact that he was looking at my body.
I tried not to blush but liked that he was looking. Before, he would pretend not to be interested, and it always bugged me.
But his interest reinforced the necessity for me to start talking. As I gathered my thoughts, I dropped my dirty clothes onto the wet towel, then flaked off what sand I could and tried to shake my hair out.
“I need to tell you what happened,” I said. “I mean, after I went over.”
And I told him.
I spoke about how I’d almost drowned. I told him how Blake had saved me and how we’d swum to the beach.
That, after making sure we were both okay, we’d ended up having sex on the beach.
He said nothing while I talked, and I didn’t dare look at his face. I’d never been so honest with him before about anything, and I worried I’d never get to the end if I had to look at his eyes.