“That’s a good idea.” Maybe Kevin didn’t like that I was in charge. I wasn’t sure if I’d fully earned his trust yet. At least this was utilizing his original idea and gave him something to do.
I eased back in my chair as the guys left. Raven turned once to look back at me, a hint of hesitation in his eyes. I nodded firmly. I needed Kevin gone and Raven needed to make sure the others didn’t come down here. I wasn’t sure if Kevin would be as angry about Blake as Brandon was. Corey said I should talk to Axel alone, so I was taking that advice seriously.
“You know,” Axel said, still browsing through his tablet. “This is actually not that bad of a mission.”
That sounded good. “Oh?”
“You’ve just got bad timing,” he said. “We were under orders not to be actively involved in anything for a while.”
I think he meant he wasn’t supposed to do anything for the Academy. Maybe they were told to take a vacation? “Well, it’s not like this is really a lot of work. No guns, right? Just a cruise ship. Food, sunshine and ocean. And there’s a spa. We talk, and we blend in. That means using the facilities, right?”
He looked up, his eyes lighting up with interest. “I didn’t know you’d be so interested in a cruise ship.”
“I’ve never been on one,” I said. “And if I could get over the seasickness, I might actually enjoy it. Sure, it’s a bit too much like a hotel and a mall in one for me. Still, I’ve never been to a spa.”
“There’s a movie theater, too,” he said.
At least he was getting into it. “Huh,” I said. I wasn’t sure if I should encourage this, but I couldn’t help myself. I liked that I was getting on his good side. I leaned in, pressing my arm against his. “You and I are going to have to check that out.” This was sinking into dangerous territory. Flirting with him to butter him up before revealing a surprise was another dirty girl trick, but I thought it was necessary.
Axel leaned back against my arm and then lifted his to wrap around the back of my chair, his face close to mine. “So you are feeling better?”
“Why do you keep asking me that?” I asked, knowing he was asking about more than the seasickness. “You ask me that all the time.”
“You were sick.”
“True,” I said. “So were you. But I’ve said I was fine for a while now.”
His hand on the chair shifted, and he relaxed a palm against my shoulder. He massaged it deeply. This was closer than he’d been to me in a while. “Listen, Kayli, I’m sorry if you felt like I was ignoring you.”
“I didn’t really notice until lately,” I said, although it was a bit of a fib. I’d noticed before but I thought he had his reasons. “You were right, I was sick, so I appreciated the space. But I was starting to think...” I wasn’t sure how to express it. Raven had suggested they’d been avoiding getting close. Despite this, Raven had been around much more than Axel. Plus, even when Axel was around, he had been rather distant most of the time.
“No,” he said. “I’ve made my intentions clear. Although you being sick did provide a way for me to let the others know to back off without causing a fight.”
I don’t know what sort of answer I was hoping for. After finding some new feelings again for Raven recently, I hadn’t considered that Axel might rekindle some of those same feelings in me just by telling me he was still intent on dating. My eyes widened, although I knew the answer to the question even before I asked it. “How?”
“I told them while you were sick to keep their paws off. At the same time, I had to keep away from you. That...that was difficult. But necessary.”
Raven had admitted as much. I fiddled with my fork, toying with a piece of egg on the plate. I had a problem choosing among them before, and I’d let myself forget about relationships while I was sick.
Still, I’d missed Axel. It made me feel selfish and impulsive about jumping into things with Raven. In that moment, I realized my feelings really hadn’t changed for any of them. They’d only been a little dormant.
And then there were Brandon and Marc. Was it really just friendship now with them? My heart raced, sorry and yet sort of happy that Axel still was interested. Despite his effort, I still had a bit of a mess to sort out, at least between Raven and Axel…and possibly Blake. I didn’t want to encourage a relationship yet with any of them since I was unsure. Raven had felt easier since he didn’t ask directly for a commitment and seemed to keep it pretty casual.
Axel was different. Axel had asked directly before.
I had just made it worse by flirting with Axel.
Axel watched me for a while, his hand still warming my shoulder. “Tell me if I’ve done anything wrong,” he said.
“No,” I said. It wasn’t his fault I was indecisive, and a little worried about picking one and causing jealousy. I hadn’t even had a chance to think through how things would work if I started dating one. The dynamics might change completely for the team. If I was dating Axel, it wasn’t like he’d be okay with me sleeping next to Raven or even Corey. There was so much to consider. “I don’t want to hurt anyone.”
“That’s nice,” he said. “It might not be a realistic goal.”
I sighed. I was getting distracted. I needed to take over the conversation. He wasn’t going to like this part. I put my fork down and then planted a palm on his thigh. “Axel, we need to focus. And I’ve got more to tell you.”
He bent his head in and nuzzled his nose through my hair above my ear and whispered, “We’ve got a few hours before people arrive.”
“We’re not ready yet,” I said, squeezing his thigh gently.
He bent his head until his lips traced the edge of my ear. “We will be.”
Too far. There was a tug at my heart, wanting to relent to this flirtation, to explore these feelings I had for Axel and to see how he really felt about me. Had he missed me at all? I’d missed him. Did I feel stronger about him than Raven?
There were too many questions to answer for myself and I didn’t have the time. Still, I needed to get the difficult discussion out of the way. “Axel, be serious for a minute?”
He sighed and backed his head up. The seductive smolder gone as his face became more curious. “What do you need to tell me?”
I bit my lip, glancing at the other people around us. At least the boys were gone. “Avery and Fancy aren’t the only ones on board and a part of the team.”
Axel blinked. “Who else is there?”
“Well...there’s Doyle,” I said quietly.
Axel’s face was still placid for a moment, and I wondered if he didn’t remember the name at all. Then as recognition hit, while his face remained calm, there was a flash of lightning that crossed in his eyes. “Tell me he came alone.”
I shook my head slowly. Every muscle in my body tensed. I couldn’t force out the name, but I didn’t have to. Doyle was Blake’s friend.
At first, his hand on my shoulder gripped me a little too hard. Then he released it to ball up the material of my shirt into his fist and draw me into him. “Why didn’t you tell me this last night?”
“I wanted to get you alone,” I said, “without the boys around. I wanted you to get to know the job without prejudice.”
“If you’re thinking I wouldn’t be here knowing those two were here...you’re right.” He tugged me closer, the storm building in his eyes. “You shouldn’t be here either.”
I placed a palm on the table, pulling away from his tugging. “Axel, it’s every reason why I should be here.”
“Explain.”
I swallowed. I hated to make it sound like I was against Blake but if he was listening, I hoped he’d understand and forgive me. “Blake was in charge before I came on board. He specifically talked Ethan into including me.”
“Why am I not surprised?”
I tapped at my chest to punctuate my point. “Which is why I said if I was to sign up, I needed to be in charge.”
Axel stiffened. “So that he won’t go overboard and do what he tried to do with the drugs in Mexico.”
“Exactly,” I said. “Listen, I know there’s some sort of rivalry and you don’t like him. However, he’s placed himself in harm’s way for our sake twice now.”
Axel sunk lower into the seat, folding his arms over his chest. “Admirable, but still not good.”
“Right now, I’m a co-lead,” I said. “He offered to not make a move without my say so. That gives us control of how this goes down.”
“You being in the lead was the only reason I agreed to come on this boat,” he said. He opened up again, putting an arm behind my back and the one on the table in front of me, closing in on me. “I want to see how much Ethan will allow you to be in charge of how things go down. If he finds these people and makes the wrong moves, sweeping under the rug and covering things up more than helping, I was planning to pull you out. I was hoping he really would allow you to make the decisions.”