Helene Madison had craved her own father’s attention and only managed to get it when she acted out. By the time she married Jeremy Archer, the attention-seeking behavior was an already established coping mechanism.
“You’re saying Helene wasn’t adventurous by nature, but because her exploits got her father’s attention.”
“Oh, I think Mom was definitely adventurous, she just discovered that in giving in to that side of her personality, she got something she craved.”
“She always said she understood the amount of time I had to give to my company.”
“Would you have listened if she said she didn’t?” He certainly hadn’t responded to Maddie’s verbal pleas for his time, or to return home from boarding school.
“Probably not,” her father admitted with more honesty than she expected.
“Her death wasn’t your fault.” It was a truth that had been very hard come by for Maddie.
She’d blamed her dad for so long, but one of the first breakthroughs she’d made with her therapist was the realization that Helene Archer had been responsible for her own choices.
“Wasn’t it?”
“No.”
He didn’t look like he agreed.
“Do you think Mom went racing because she didn’t love me enough to want to be around to raise me?” Maddie asked.
Her dad went pale with shock, his eyes dilating, his mouth going slack for a second before he nearly shouted, “No, of course not. She adored you, Madison. You must know that.”
“But she still went racing on the water at night.”
“Not because of you.”
“And not because of you, either.”
“But—”
“Mom was an adult woman who suppressed normal caution for the adrenaline spikes that made her feel alive.” The fact it had the side effect of gaining her the attention she craved only made her mom’s adventures doubly irresistible to her.
“You sound like a psychologist.”
“A degree in early childhood development has its share of psych courses.” Maddie wasn’t telling Jeremy about her sessions with a therapist.
She wasn’t ashamed of seeing Dr. MacKenzie, but Maddie didn’t trust her father enough to share the more private parts of her life with him. Not even this new and improved Jeremy. She didn’t know how deep the changes went or how long they would last.
Her dad’s eyes—the same shade as her own, but without the vulnerability she saw in the mirror when she was alone—flickered with something between speculation and curiosity.
“Speaking of your mother,” he said in a more familiar tone that revealed no emotion.
“Yes?”
“You and Viktor have chosen her birthday for your wedding date.”
“Yes.” A month before Maddie turned twenty-five, it had just felt right to speak their vows on a date connected in such a special way to her mom.
“Viktor said you wanted to honor her memory with the date.”
“We do.” Did her dad find that uncomfortable?
Neither she nor Vik had considered that possibility.
Her father smiled, the expression appearing genuine. “I was hoping you would be willing to honor her memory in another way as well.”
“How?” she asked warily.
“Do not worry, I am not going to use your mother’s memory to try to guilt you into withdrawing the paperwork giving company shares to Ramona Grayson upon your twenty-fifth birthday.”
But he hadn’t forgotten it, either.
“It wouldn’t work anyway. Mom loved Romi and I personally wouldn’t have survived boarding school if her father hadn’t sent her there, too.”
Maddie had desperately wanted her SBC to come to the school once she’d realized her father wouldn’t budge about her going there. However she’d never asked. It wouldn’t have been fair. Just like Maddie, Romi had a life in San Francisco.
But Romi had begged her dad to send her and he’d done so.
Jeremy nodded. “He sent her because I offered to pay the tuition and dorm fees.”
“No.” Wouldn’t her father have told her that before this?
“Yes. He told me when Romi came to him and asked to follow you. He didn’t want to send her, but I thought you would both be better off with each other than your fathers.”
Maddie’s dad was sounding more and more human by the minute. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that, but she thought it might be hope.
However, she felt compelled to say, “Mr. Grayson always loved Romi.”
“But he was already drinking heavily by then. Do you think he was any more aware of his daughter’s needs than I was of yours?”
No, the man who had fallen asleep drunk most nights had not been aware of what Romi needed.
“If she hadn’t gone to boarding school, she would have become her dad’s caregiver.” Jeremy sounded very certain of that. “Romi needed to get away and Gray needed to pour himself into bed at night.”
“You used to be his friend.”
“I still am, as much as you can befriend a man intent on drinking himself into an early grave and his own business into bankruptcy.”
Worry creased Maddie’s brow. “It’s not that bad.”
“Yet. But it will be.”
“Don’t pretend threatening to take his company over was a favor you would do him.”
“No, it wouldn’t be a favor to Grayson, but it would be to Romi.” Her dad sounded very sure of that assertion.
“So you say.”
“You don’t trust me at all, do you?”
“Not really, no.” She couldn’t even say that if she thought the welfare of AIH was a given that her dad would put hers next.
She wasn’t convinced of that.
Rather than appear upset by her denial, her dad shrugged. “Maybe you are right not to.”
“That’s not a comforting thing for you to say.”
He shrugged. “Would you rather I lied?”
“No, but you would, if you thought it would get you what you wanted.”
“That’s one of the primary differences between Viktor and I. Our business peers know it, too. If I want another company president to believe something, I make sure he hears it from Viktor.”
“Has he ever lied for you unknowingly?” she asked, not sure she wanted to know the answer.
“No. I’m not saying I haven’t been tempted, but while I may not feel the same compunction for truth that my successor does, I do recognize that if I did that and Viktor found out about it, he would find another vehicle for his ambition than AIH.”
Well, she’d never considered her father to be stupid. “I think you’re right.”
“I know I am.”
“So, about Mom’s memory...” Maddie said, ready to get back to the reason for her presence at her father’s dinner table.
“She always said she wanted you to wear her wedding dress when you married.”
“You still have it?” Maddie couldn’t hide the eagerness in her tone.
If she’d been with Vik, she wouldn’t have even
felt the need to try.
“Of course.”
“But you got rid of all her things.” Maddie would never forget coming home for the first time from boarding school to find most of the house redecorated and her mother’s things gone.
“I kept her wedding dress and her jewelry for you.” Her father’s tone implied he didn’t understand why Maddie wouldn’t know that.
“Why? When you got rid of everything else?”
“The dress is a piece of history.”
“Not business history.” So, why would her dad care?
“Family history. A famous designer created it for your great-grandmother in 1957, the year after he did a similar dress for an actress in one of her more famous roles.” Jeremy cleared his throat almost as if talking about this was making him emotional. “Every generation in her direct line has worn it since.”
“I know.”
“Oh, I thought maybe you’d forgotten. You didn’t mention wearing it.”
“I thought you’d gotten rid of it.”
“I didn’t.”
“I’m so glad.” It was a dream she’d thought would have to die with her mother.
“You’re very much of a size with your mother. I doubt it will require much tailoring.”
* * *
The beautiful ivory strapless gown with embroidery in champagne silk thread around the full skirt and on the bodice required no altering at all.
Though she and Romi agreed Maddie should wear a corset under the embroidered bodice for smooth lines. The champagne lining flipped over the hem as a contrast lay exactly as it was supposed to.
“You look so beautiful,” Romi said with suspiciously shiny eyes.
The dress hugged Maddie’s breasts and torso, nipping in at her natural waist and then flaring in a full skirt shorter in the front than the back, which had an understated train that swept the floor elegantly behind her.
“I look like my mom.”
“But you have your dad’s eyes.” Romi twisted her mouth comically. “I can’t believe he paid for me to attend boarding school with you.”
“Me, either.” But Mr. Grayson had confirmed Jeremy’s claim.
“He loves you, I always said so.”
“In his own way,” Maddie agreed. “Just not the way I needed.”
“Maybe he just didn’t know how. From what you’ve told me about his parents, it doesn’t sound like the Archers were a warm family.”