. “What I want doesn’t matter. Things have changed, Josh. I need to focus on what has to be done.”
“That’s not true. She’s new to all of this, Seb. Monique wasn’t thrilled with the concept at first either. It took her a while to learn the ropes and fall into place. Hell, I still have to knock her back there from time to time. This shit happens. Your first priority right now is keeping her safe, not making her happy. It sucks, but that’s the way things gotta be. Call her. Tell her to take extra food out for dinner. I’ll grab Monique, and maybe between the three of us, we can sit down and get this headache straightened out…okay?”
Sebastian mulled the offer over for a long moment. Sighing, he offered a reluctant nod. “Yeah. Okay.” He lowered his gaze for a moment. His next words came with effort, and were nothing more than a soft whisper issued between them. “Thank you.”
Josh cupped the back of his head and gave his hair an affectionate ruffle. “Don’t mention it.”
Knocking his hand away, Sebastian’s shoulders jerked with a wry snort, and he gave their surroundings a pointed look. “Believe me, I won’t.”
Taylor huddled deeper into the folds of her long sweater jacket. She shivered and pressed closer to the stove, seeking warmth from the burners. The soft fleece had done little to dispel the chill settled into her bones. Her entire body seemed to ache with a miserable combination of cold and dread. From time to time, her gaze would wander outside to the dark forms patrolling the grounds. Mostly, it remained centered on her brief conversation with Sebastian. He’d been curt, his voice lending no indication his mood was any better than it had been that morning. She’d been scared enough pondering what his return home might mean, but the added threat Josh posed was almost enough to send her over the edge. They were going to kill her, and thanks to her severed ties with her family, no one would ever know.
Wiping at the raw patches beneath her eyes with the back of her sleeve, she drew a shuddering breath and turned down the heat. She stared at the thickening sauce for a moment, her mind turning back to the first time Sebastian had made it. It was her first time in this house. The mushroom ravioli had been the first dish they’d ever made together. Had that been a conscious decision on her part? She bit her lip, trying to remember. Gripping the counter on either side of the stove, she stilled another violent tremble and wondered if she would ever get warm enough, sane enough, not to shake.
She whirled at the whir of the garage door and froze. Her fingers tightened on the counter when the laundry room door swung open and her gaze darted to Sebastian. Part of her wanted to run to him and beg his forgiveness, offer to help him with his coat, anything to worm her way back into his good graces. The other stood riveted, motionless by the sight of Josh strolling through the door behind him. Her mouth opened and closed around a soundless greeting.
Closing her eyes, she sent up a silent prayer, begging they at least make it quick. When she opened them, she found Sebastian staring at her. His pale gaze bore into her, drilling clear down to her soul as his head tilted in thoughtful reflection. Her entire body tensed as he approached. The look of pity on Monique’s face was almost enough to make her cry again.
He lifted his hand and she tried desperately not to slam her eyes shut and flinch. She couldn’t help the pleading whimper that broke in the base of her throat. The brush of his fingers was jarring. They were so cold they felt like ice when they trailed across her brow. His quiet curse threatened to stop her heart.
“You’re burning up,” he stated in a soft whisper.
“I have some Tylenol in my purse,” Monique offered, already fumbling with the clasp. She shook two pills out and offered them to Taylor.
Sebastian stepped in and took them from his sister instead. He indicated toward the other room with a nod of his head.
“Go sit down, Taylor. You’ve done enough.”
Tears threatened at his comment. Her gaze flittered uncertainly to the stove before shifting back to him in pleading.
“It’s okay,” Monique soothed. “I got this. Go sit.”
“The noodles only have two more minutes.”
“I think I can manage,” the blonde said, with a wink. “Stir, drain, rinse, cool. I know the routine.”
Crossing the room, she settled onto the couch, wringing her hands in her lap. It hadn’t escaped her attention that the little girl was nowhere in sight. She bit her lip. Surely, Monique wouldn’t leave her child behind when they were under some sort of threat. Unless…she couldn’t bring herself to finish the thought. She startled as Sebastian dropped onto the seat next to her. He held out a bottle of pineapple and mango juice in one hand and the Tylenol in his other. The room seemed to darken as Josh’s shadow fell over them. Cringing inside, she took the pills and swallowed them.
“You should have told me you still weren’t feeling well, Taylor.”
“I didn’t think it would matter,” she confessed, her cheeks burning even hotter.
Sebastian’s brow furrowed. “Why would you think that?”
“Be-because you’re mad at me.” Her chin quivered.
Sighing, he reclined against the couch and let his head fall back to rest against the ledge. Josh took a seat in a matching leather chair.
“I think what Baas is trying to say here is yes he’s upset, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. Last night wasn’t the best way of showing it but believe me, that’s what this entire situation boils down to. You’re hurt. He’s hurt, and the rest of us are pretty much fucked until this whole thing is straightened out.” He offered her a faint smile. “You have no idea the mood I had to put up with this morning. Neither one of us would be sitting here now if Marx had heard us. We’d both be going through some reprogramming.”
Her attention darted to the kitchen at the distinct clatter of a spoon. Monique retrieved it off the floor and straightened with an apologetic smile. A low whistle pulled her focus back to Josh.
“I’m going to give you the long and the short of it here, honey. Baas wasn’t trying to be mean when he told you not to leave the house without him. I know he filled you in on our situation, and this guy—his family—they’re nothing to play around with. Monique is under the same restrictions and surveillance. It sucks, but that’s the way it has to be. For your safety, as well as Sebastian’s. If he’s worried about you he’s not focusing, and in our line of work, one slip up is enough to get you killed. You follow me so far?”
She nodded.
“Good. Any questions?”
“How…how long is Monique under this lockdown?”
“Until Baas decides otherwise. He’s making the calls here. Not just for you, but for the entire team. Right now, no one’s family is unprotected. Some of that protection is just more visible than others. I hate to say it, princess, but this is all a part of the routine.” He took a deep breath and rubbed a hand over his short hair. “As for the part about you leaving…” His lips flattened in a grim press. “I told you before, that wasn’t going to happen. A huge part of that is Sebastian…but the truth is, you know things, you’ve seen things that push you well into the far too late category. Honestly, you hit that point that first day in the woods. Baas is the one that saved you. Had it been up to me, I would have pulled the trigger.”
“Josh…”
He glanced up at Sebastian’s warning. “Hey, it’s the truth. No offense, Taylor. Business is business, but you’re in this now and there’s no getting out. That gun to your head last night is nothing compared to what could happen. You’re lucky it was Baas, and not someone who saw you as a threat.”
“That’s what I don’t understand. What is this thing? What is it that you guys do?”
“You haven’t told her?” Disbelief slackened Josh’s face.
Sebastian’s jaw tightened as he shook his head. “No.”
Josh threw his hands in the air. “Sorry, but I’m not touching this one. It’s your call. Either way, this one is all you.”
“I’m sorry to interrupt, but dinner is done.?
?
Josh levered out of the chair and hurried into the kitchen to help Monique. Taylor was pretty certain he was just eager to escape the heavy pall and tension hanging over the room. She couldn’t blame him. Sebastian remained seated beside her. Dark smudges rimmed his pale eyes, and his expression was tired, drawn. Even his shoulders were slumped, as if the weight of the entire world had suddenly settled over them. A long, quiet sigh broke the silence and he finally lifted his gaze. Her eyes drifted shut as he reached up and gently palmed the back of her neck.
“I will tell you everything after dinner. For now…please…come eat with me.”
“Sebastian?”
He silenced her with a forefinger. His expression became pinched and even more exhausted. “Not now, Taylor. Whatever it is you may or may not be thinking, please just save it until after I’ve had my say. I’m sure you’ll come to regret enough as it is.”
The meal was hushed. No sound broke the room except for the light scrape of forks against china. She could feel Monique’s sympathetic stare, but Sebastian’s eyes weighed the heaviest. Like her, he barely touched his food. He seemed to be going through the motions, but whatever part of him gave life and vitality was detached—gone. Her fear had given way to concern. Not for herself, but for him. She ached to reach over and touch his hand. It wasn’t long before he pushed his plate away with a rueful shake of his head.
“Is your food okay?” she asked worriedly.