“Leave me alone,” I tell her. “Just leave me alone, Kels.”
“It’s my BIRTHDAY!” she screams. “You’re my BEST FUCKING FRIEND!”
But I’m not.
She’s no fucking friend of mine.
“I’m not your friend,” I tell her. “You just use me to prop yourself up when there’s nobody cooler.”
She looks like I’ve slapped her, and I’ve got no time for this. I turn away from her but she won’t let go. “No, Laine! You use me to prop yourself up! None of my other friends want to hang with me because of you.” I don’t want to hear it, but she won’t let go of my wrist. “You know what they say about you, right? They call you simple. They call you boring bitch. Mary Vernon says you’re so dull that you make her ears bleed. That’s why I have no friends to hang out with, Laine! Because of you!”
It hurts.
It hurts like she intends it to.
But not nearly so much as knowing I missed my curfew.
“Fuck you, Kelly Anne, I’m done,” I tell her. I’m calm and I mean it. I really fucking mean it.
I tug away from her and head for the street, and this time she doesn’t follow me.
“HE DOESN’T FUCKING LOVE YOU!” she screams. “NOBODY DOES!”Chapter Twenty-FiveLaineI’ve never run so fast in my life. My feet barely touch the floor as I pound the beach front, my heart in my throat as I realise what I’ve done. What she’s done.
I’m out of breath as I see his car in the distance, but I still keep running, and then I see him, and he’s running too.
I slam into his body and wrap my arms around his neck and I want to tell him how sorry I am but no words will come.
“What, Laine?! What is it? What’s going on?” His hands are in my hair, on my cheeks, checking me all over, and his eyes are wide and petrified.
I struggle for breath, and it pains so much to see what I’ve done.
“Nothing…” I wheeze. “Not like that… it was Kelly Anne! She changed my clock! I didn’t know! I swear I didn’t know!”
His eyes are so hurt as he realises. So hurt.
It makes me feel like shit upon shit. I struggle not to cry, but I don’t deserve to cry, not after being so stupid. I’ve been so stupid.
I really am naive. Just a stupid fucking idiot. Just like Kelly Anne says.
“You gave her your phone?” he asks, and it’s so angry and pointed that my tummy flips.
“No! She took it! I wouldn’t! I didn’t!”
“I’ve been waiting here an hour, Laine. A whole fucking hour.” He’s so hurt, his eyes so scared. “I was out of my fucking mind, Laine! Petrified! Do you have any fucking idea what that’s like? Do you have any fucking idea?”
No. I don’t.
Because I’ve never lost anybody. Not like he has.
But I’m beginning to get a sense of it. Because I’m petrified of losing him right now. Petrified of losing everything.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, and my voice sounds pathetic and small. “I’m so sorry, Nick.”
There’s no Daddy this time, but he doesn’t even notice. He’s staring past me, into the distance, his jaw gritted and his eyes so sad.
“Get in the fucking car,” he says.NickA terrible concoction of relief and anger. Hurt, too.
Hurt that someone as loving and special as Laine could do something so stupid and reckless.
My temples pound as I drive, my gut churning and twisted.
“I’m sorry,” she says again, but it does nothing to calm my mood.
I have nothing to say, not like this. Not while I’m still wired and on the edge, chased by demons I’ve tried so hard to ignore. Demons that know exactly how it feels to lose everything.
I pull through the gates and park up, slam the car door as I head for the front door. Laine follows like a shadow, her fingers clasped tight together and her eyes on the floor.
I close the door behind us, and then I lock it, barricading us in as though she’s still in danger.
Only she wasn’t in danger, only reckless. Trusting. Far too trusting.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I’m so sorry, Nick, I swear.”
I pour her a juice, unsure of how much she’s had to drink already, and dig out a bottle of whisky from my father’s vintage stash and pour myself a healthy measure. She watches me, staring with big doe eyes.
“I can go,” she whispers. “If you want… I can go…”
“You aren’t going fucking anywhere!” I snarl. “Not fucking anywhere, Laine. You’re fucking grounded! Forever, Laine, for-fucking-ever!”
Grounded. It sounds so fucking stupid.
She nods anyway. “Okay.”
“No!” I snap. “It’s not okay, Laine! It’s really not okay!”
I stare at the girl in front of me, only she’s not a girl, not really. I can’t keep her in a cage, can’t protect her from everything, can’t keep pretending she’s an infant who needs me to dress her and wash her and wipe her dirty ass.