Nobody would ever understand it. Nobody would ever understand me.
Nobody could ever understand my freak of a body, so tainted in its strengths, and my freak of a mind to match.
I hitched my fingers in her cheeks and splayed them wide, still thrusting my dick in her mouth as she moaned. And then I came. Pulled my dick from her pretty mouth and came. One spurt that covered her face, then another that made her retch.
“Open!” I barked and she opened wide, holding still until every last spurt had filled her mouth.
“Swallow,” I told her, and she did. Yet again, she was a good girl for me.
I left her gasping and walked away in a beat, composing myself with deep breaths.
Under usual circumstances, I’d have gone straight back in for another round, but that night was different. I looked over at the beautiful thing on my floor, and for the first time that I could ever remember, I didn’t want another round.
Not with her.
I wanted the true, genuine Elaine Constantine. Not a girl trying to be her.
Fuck.
Freshly deflowered Natalie moved a bit closer on her knees, looking up at me with another smile on her face.
“More, sir?” she asked.
I shook my head. “No, sweetheart. I’m done. You can go now.”
She stayed on her knees, paused, and I smirked at her, and myself, because I knew it. I always knew it.
Natalie didn’t want to go.
“Go. Now,” I told her, and she nodded as she came to her senses.
My used up little dolly grabbed her lace slip from the floor and held it tight to her chest as she dashed to the elevator.
“Thank you, sir,” she told me before she stepped inside to leave.
I didn’t even bother saying goodbye.
I should have thought about a million things as I paced back to the windows and stared out over the New York skyline. I should have thought about high-end trade affairs, and corporate business, and Trenton Alto’s seedy deals with the Kelly family across the Atlantic. Maybe pondered whether I should arrange a chat with my brother Declan about how Alto was handling our Irish business.
But no.
I wasn’t thinking about the million things I should be thinking about; I was thinking about one thing and one thing only.
The woman in gold.
I was still thinking about the woman in gold.
Elaine fucking Constantine.
I roused Trenton from his slumber when I called him this time.
“What?” he asked. “Was the girl no good?”
I laughed. “She was good enough. This is about something else. Someone else.”
Even Trenton baulked when I gave him his next instructions.
“You’re out of your fucking mind,” he said.4Elaine“Are you out of your fucking mind?”
Tristan’s face was a picture, hands in his hair as he paced my lounge.
“He didn’t tell anyone,” I told him. “Even Silas had more sense than that.”
“Yeah, but he could have. He could have gone straight out of there and told the whole ball that Lucian Morelli was in the building. You wouldn’t be standing here, Elaine. There’s no way your mom would let you sleep at night knowing you’d had any of the Morelli’s fingers inside you, let alone his.”
I found myself shrugging. “Plenty of things could have happened. Lucian Morelli could have broken my neck and taken a handful of others down with me before security got to him and blew him away. But he didn’t.”
Tristan Fields had been my best friend and most trusted ear in this world since I was twelve years old. He’d seen me do plenty of crazy shit in the past thirteen years, but nothing had ever made him stare at me like I was this crazy. I guess I’d topped the pinnacle of crazy Elaine. A high mountain to climb, but I’d managed it.
I swigged back another gulp of gin. “It’s not like I’m ever going to see him again.”
“I’d fucking hope not. Believe me, baby, I’d be telling your mom myself if I thought that was gonna happen. You’d stand more chance of making it out alive with her on your case than him. Close call, but I know where I’d put my cash.”
I closed my eyes to ease off my thump of a hangover, but it made no difference. My brain was jammed plenty by Tristan carrying on his speech.
“You do know he was playing you, right? He probably thinks you’re an easy road into Constantine life. If he didn’t think he could trick you into giving him what he needs, he’d have killed you the very second he had you alone.”
Something about that offended me. It may not have made any sense that it did, because he was probably right. Tristan’s words made perfect sense. Still, it offended me. Something about that concept twisted my heart and made it hurt.
I was stupid. Totally stupid. Stupid to want to believe there was anything other than hate and purpose behind Lucian grabbing me at Tinsley’s party . . . but, stupid or not, I wanted there to be. Some twisted, fucked up part of me wanted there to be.