Nolan: I’ll be back in Texas tomorrow afternoon. I miss you. I love you, and I wish you would talk to me.
I stared at his message for what seemed like forever. How in the world was he heading back to Texas? His leave had ended. Had he asked for more time? A wave of guilt washed over me knowing the hell I had put him through.
Glancing out over the lake once more, I drew in a deep, cleansing breath and slowly let it out. Nolan had grieved the loss of our daughter for far too long without me. It was time we faced this together. It was time I stopped hiding out.
I hit his number, and it went straight to voicemail. He had either turned off his phone, or he was flying. I knew if I tried to leave a message I would cry, so I hung up.
Glancing down once more, I typed my reply.
Me: I miss you too, and I love you, Nolan. I love you so very much.
After I sent the message, I called my mother.
“Linnzi, are you okay? Nolan is beside himself that you’re not reaching out to him.”
“I am, and I’m sorry if I worried everyone. Mom, I got a text from Nolan. He said he was coming back to Texas. Did he get an extended leave?”
“Something like that, darling, I’m not sure. He’ll be back tomorrow afternoon. Oh, sweetheart, I wish you would come home. Please, let us explain.”
I walked back into the house and shut the sliding door. “Mom, would you and Daddy come and pick me up? I’d like to come home now.”
“Yes! Yes, of course. Where are you?” she asked.
“I’m staying at a lake house on Canyon Lake. It belongs to someone Ryan Night knows.”
“Ryan Night? He’s known where you’ve been this entire time and he didn’t tell anyone?”
With a sigh, I said, “Mom, I needed time, and Ryan understood that. Can we not get into that right now and deal with the other things on the table first?”
She didn’t answer for a few moments. Finally, she sighed and said, “Drop me your location and we’ll leave now.”
I smiled. “You know how to do that?”
She huffed. “I’m not that old, Linnzi.”
I walked into the main bedroom of the house and grabbed my duffle bag. “You’re right, you aren’t, Momma. I’ll see you when y’all get here.”
“Okay, sweetheart. We’ll be there as soon as we can.”
I hit End and quickly started to pack up the few things I had. I picked up the picture frame of me, Amanda, and Nolan and hugged it to my chest as I sat down on the bed. I was so tired of crying, yet my tears fell once more.
Sobbing, I said, “I’m so sorry, baby girl. I’m so sorry I forgot you.”The drive home from Canyon Lake to Boerne was silent. After my parents hugged me and made sure I was okay, I asked them if we could hold off on talking until we got home. The last thing I wanted to do was talk in the car. I was just ready to leave the lake house and get back home.
Daddy pulled up and parked, and I stepped out of his truck and stood and looked at the house. We had moved here when I was fourteen. My parents had wanted to move from Austin to a smaller town. I had hated them for taking me from my friends, but the moment I saw Nolan, I knew it was fate that brought us here. I had played hard to get for a while, only because I was so worried about dating someone as handsome as Nolan. Even at fourteen, he had girls falling all over him. After a while, he broke my defenses down, and I knew the moment he kissed me that I was going to be with him for the rest of my life. He was the other half of my soul, and even in Paris, I knew he was out there…waiting.
“Ready?” my mother asked as she walked up next to me. My father had taken the duffle bag and started for the house already.
With a nod, I wrapped my arm around my mother’s and we walked inside. I headed to the kitchen and put on a pot of water for tea.
It appeared my folks were going to wait for me to make the first move in this conversation. So, I did. “I hope you both understand why I left.”
They nodded. “Are you angry with us, Linnzi?” my mother asked.
I took in a breath and held it for a moment before I exhaled. “I was at first, but not just angry with y’all and Nolan. I was mad at myself.”
Both of their eyes went wide with surprise. “Why?” Daddy asked.
I slid onto a bar stool and looked up at the ceiling before focusing back on them. “How do you forget your own child?”