I wanted to laugh. “Time. Don’t you think I’ve already given her enough fucking time?”
Jack sighed and looked at Truitt. “I don’t think I’ve seen him this drunk in a long time.”
Truitt nodded.
“Still understanding every word, guys.”
Turning to face me, Jack shook his head. “We need to get your ass sober, Nolan, and get you back to Edwards.”
I pulled in a deep breath through my nose and then quickly exhaled. “I had just gotten her back. Call me selfish, but I think I honestly hoped she’d never remember. I didn’t want her to feel the pain that I’ve felt for the last eight fucking years.” I let out a bitter laugh. “Or maybe it’s because I knew the moment she found out, she’d leave me…for good.”
“She’s not going to leave you. She loves you too much.” Jack walked up to me and reached his hand out. “Come on, let’s go get in the shower,” he said, taking the bottle of whiskey off the table and handing it to Truitt.
Truitt walked into the kitchen and dumped it down the kitchen drain.
“For fuck’s sake. That was a good bottle of whiskey!” I cried out.
Jack grabbed a kitchen chair, spun it around, and sat down on it as he stared at me. “You think that whiskey is going to help?” he asked with one narrowed eye.
“Well, I couldn’t really get up in a plane or jump out of one right now, so it was doing the trick.”
“Was it really? Because from where I’m sitting, you look miserable as fuck. You can’t drink yourself into numbness, Nolan. You’ve tried it before, and it didn’t work.”
All I could do was nod, knowing he was right.
“What if she walked back through that door right now? Is this what you’d want her to find?” Jack asked with a disgusted look on his face.
My eyes jerked up, and I gave him a cold stare. “Fuck you, Jack. You have no fucking idea what I’m feeling or going through, so don’t sit there and judge me.”
He held up his hands. “You’re right, Byers, I have no idea. I do know that I’ve sat back and watched you let Linnzi live some life you thought she should because no one had the fucking guts to tell her the truth.”
I leapt across the table, knocking my chair over, before Jack or Truitt could react. I landed a punch right on Jack’s jaw and then managed to get in another one before Truitt pulled me off him. Jack stood and smiled as he rubbed his chin.
Jack shot me a cocky smile. “Feel better?”
“Fuck you!” I yelled as Truitt held me back. “You don’t fucking know anything!”
“Settle down, Nolan, Christ Almighty!” Truitt said as he fought to keep me from lunging at Jack again.
Jack slowly nodded and then pointed at me. “I’ve stood by your side, Nolan, all these years. I’ve stood by because I truly felt like you honestly thought what you were doing was right. A part of me gets why you did it, but now the truth is out, and there isn’t a damn thing you can do to change any of it. She’s upset. She’s grieving, and she needs time. Do you honestly think drinking yourself into numbness is going to help? Do something, Nolan! Fucking. Do. Something.”
“Do something?” I spat out. “You’re telling me to do something? What in the hell do you think I’ve been doing? I’ve driven around this fucking town for hours, day after day. Calling her, begging her to talk to me. I don’t know what else to do, Jack. If you’ve got a brilliant idea, then please fucking enlighten me.”
He shook his head as he stared at me. “I’ve watched you suffer alone all these years. Watched you fly off to Paris to catch glimpses of this woman you were madly in love with, and I never told you that I thought what you were doing was wrong. I know why you did it, Nolan. You didn’t want her to feel the same loss you felt for Amanda. You were trying to save her from it. I get that, dude.”
I closed my eyes and slowly shook my head. “That didn’t turn out so good, did it?”
Truitt let his grip on me ease up until he finally let go. I opened my eyes and looked at Jack. I could feel my nose burning with the threat of tears.
“Nolan, it’s okay to feel the pain, and it’s okay to let her feel the pain. She’s not going to hate you. Dude, she waited for you all these years because she felt her love for you here.” He placed his hand over his chest. “Nolan, a love like that isn’t going to go away. You both need each other more than either one of you realizes.”
I stumbled back and leaned against the wall. I jammed my hands into my hair and let out a low cry that sounded so foreign to my own ears it shocked me. Then I slid down the wall. The pain I felt in my chest had grown more and more as the days went on. The longer Linnzi stayed away, the more empty I felt. When my ass landed on the floor, I let out a sob.