“You have an issue with that, tell me.”
That did something. A speck of light hit her eyes and her spine stiffened, not enough for most people to notice, but I wasn’t most people.
What I needed was that quiet rebellion. Fuck, I’d take any rebellion right about now. I wasn’t getting it, but I would eventually, even if I had to rip Raven apart to get to it. “Go to bed.”
She scuttled away and I leaned my head back again and shut my eyes.
I’d give her one week. I was being generous because being nice went against my grain. Then she was going to fight—for London.Ice WaterIT TOOK FIVE days before she broke a rule.
I’d expected sooner, but she was meticulous and I could see her mind working on deciding what to do before she did it. The scientist in her was hard at work. Except, it was the wrong kind of fuckin’ work.
But when a glass she was putting up in the top cupboard slipped from her grip and fell to the floor shattering, she froze for a split second before dropping to her knees.
Any sympathy for Raven was pushed aside. My rules were fair and they were set up to break through what she’d endured. I’d seen the marks on the back of her thighs. I knew what they were from and coddling her wasn’t going to make her any better. She’d had months of therapy, medication and whatever else her father and medical professionals had done to try to help her. Instead, she ran away.
Now we were doing it my way and it was the way that London needed. I knew this because I’d been in hell. Maybe it was a different kind, but it was still hell.
I filled the tub with straight cold water then went to the freezer and pulled out a small bag of ice. No matter how diligent a person was, falling back into what had become a safe place… that was human nature. My safe had been not caring. Being unemotional and ignoring who I’d become.
Raven’s safe place was on her knees.
Now I was going to re-write that.
She watched me. Sitting on the edge of the bed, her hands wrung together. It was always better when interrogating someone for them to see your torture devices. Let the fear build as your hand hovered over each one, hear their breath quicken while waiting to see which one you’d pick up first.
Of course, this wasn’t about torture. Same idea, I had to break her, but with other techniques where she was punished for being Raven.
I could coddle her, wrap her up in my arms and hope she’d find her way back, but I didn’t coddle and London was a fighter. I just had to find the trigger to make her fight.
Bottom line, I needed her to get pissed off.
I dumped the bag of ice into the tub and the cubes clinked against the porcelain. I stuck my hand in—yeah, that was fuckin’ cold. I’d been in worse.
I’d been chasing a car when it skidded off a bridge into a lake and crashed through the ice. I had to go in after the driver. Not to save him… well, I’d saved him. But after getting the info I needed, I killed him. Bastard was dirty as they came and he was the type of man I took great joy in ending his life.
“Come here,” I said without looking over at her.
She stood beside me and there was a twinge of guilt when she started trembling.
“You know why?”
She nodded. “I broke a rule.”
“Yes. And why do you think I have that rule?” This would be a hard one for her to wrap her head around. She probably had no idea why, but I expected an answer and wanted to hear what she came up with.
I watched her swallow and I swear I could hear her heart rate pick up. Good. A reaction. “You don’t like me on my knees?”
“True. Why else?”
Her eyes darted to me, wide and scared. Come on, London. Be defiant. Say it. But when her shoulders sagged I knew I wasn’t getting the answer I wanted.
“I don’t know why.”
I grabbed her chin and forced her to look at me, fingers digging harshly into her skin. “Because you never submit to anyone. Never. You can play. Pretend with someone you trust, but you don’t trust me and we’re not playing. Did you trust him? Was it all a game with Alfonzo and Jacob?”
Her eyes widened with horror. “No. I… I had to.”
She had to. I knew she did. She probably fought like hell at first, that stubbornness causing a lot more pain than most of those girls would endure.
“Yes. But you also submitted to everything.” I lightened my hold and stroked my thumb back and forth over the reddened skin. “Submit your body when you have no choice, but protect your mind, London. Never let them have it and right now, they have it.”