"I know, Mama." And I do. I really do. I take her hand in one of mine and with the other I pay the cabbie handsomely. When she nods that she is ready, I help her out of the back seat and hold her tightly as we walk into her husband's funeral.
It is a hot, muggy morning, the threat of thunderstorms hanging heavily in the air. I feel like I can't draw a full breath. And the heat inside the church is even worse. Everyone is already fanning themselves with the programs before the service even begins. Tricia and Rita give me small, sad waves from the back of the church as I pass and I feel my heart swell slightly to see their familiar faces in the sea of unfamiliar ones.
Speaker after speaker comes up to extol Otis's virtues. I hear stories I never heard before, and very little of what I hear jibes with the memory of the straight-backed old man who shadowed my mother like a guardian angel. The strangeness is starting to get to me, the unreality of this all. I try to keep my focus on the words being said but I keep feeling like I'm just going to float away. The finality of their words, the quiet sobs behind me, the oppressive heat of the church, it's all starting to make me feel faint.
When we are finally given leave to rise, my knees wobble a little and I have to sit back down heavily. No one notices. My mother is now in the arms of Mrs. Parker and her birthmark, being clucked over by all the church ladies who had told her to keep fighting, keep pushing Otis for more treatment, more intervention, more fighting. They are mouthing platitudes about him getting rest with God now, and suddenly I am just angry.
"Yahya, honey, come with us, okay?" Tricia is over me in an instant. "You need some space."
I am shaking even harder. "I need to be with my Mom," I tell her through tightly gritted teeth.
"Your mother is fine, everyone is looking out for her. Let me look out for you."
I am about to argue, and then I shake my head. "Tricia, I feel like I want to lie down and sleep forever."
She nods in mute sympathy. "You're shaking pretty hard. Come on honey. You've only got to hold it together for about another hour, then I'll tuck you in and give you something to knock you out."
I smile weakly as I let her lead me to Rita's car. "What am I going to do when you move?"
Rita shoots a quick, anguished look at Tricia, who shakes her head quietly. "We'll figure it out," she says, non-commitally. "You're good at figuring things out."
"I used to be," I mutter, allowing myself to be tucked into the passenger seat. "I can't figure anything out, anymore. Nothing is going according to plan...at all. My best friend is moving, my stepfather just died and Carter chose the worst possible day to call me again."
Tricia makes a noise of commiseration as Rita punches the cemetery address into her GPS. "What did he say?"
I shake my head. "That he's ready. And that wherever I am, he's coming to meet me, right now."
The sky is nearly black with boiling clouds tinged with green by the time we get to the cemetery. I don't even have an umbrella with me, and my heels sink into the muddy ground at the graveside. The wind whips around us, and I feel the shaking that has been with me since the funeral turn into teeth-chattering shivers. I clutch myself as they hastily lower the casket into the ground, trying to cover the hole before the heavens open. As my stepfather is swallowed by the earth, I shake so hard that I am afraid I am going to shatter into a million pieces.
Warm, strong hands grip me from behind just as the first fat raindrops fall, mixing with my tears. I look up to see Carter's face, his arms wrapped tightly around me as the pastor closes and wipes his Bible.
Shock robs me of my words. He is here, on the mainland, out in the open and clearly unafraid. He is facing his worst fears to be with me today. "You're here," I whisper.
"I'm here," he says. It's all he needs to say. He grips me tighter and I am no longer shaking so hard. Carter is holding me together.
Epilogue
"Careful there."
Sanniyah holds my hand tightly and together we pick our way over the rocks to where Cammy and Greg are standing, ankle deep in the lapping waves. "This is our spot," she whispers to me, gesturing to the log where we sat together the first night we met. The night I hadn't kissed her. I have spent the last four months making up for that mistake, kissing her as often as she will allow, and sometimes even more than that.
The woman in the flowing dress has water coming up to her knees now. The tide is coming in and the sun is poised at the edge of the horizon. It's time. Greg's mother is looking tired but happy, sitting erect in the wheelchair we fitted with inflatable tires for the occasion. I sling my arm around Sanniyah and she rests her head on my shoulder as the three of us watch my sister and Greg get married.
The ceremony is over in ten minutes and I am glad. Cammy is so overwhelmed that she is stuttering, but Greg knows what to do. I don't have to worry about my baby sister. She's in good hands.
"I'm glad she at least wore the dress," Sanniyah sighs, nuzzling into me. "I at least got to plan that for her."
"And look how beautiful she looks," I nod, watching her lift the hem of the dress a little higher to dodge the inrushing waves and she and Greg and her brand new mother in law pick their way carefully back to the main house. I don't have that much more time.
"Shouldn't we be following them?" Sanniyah asks, stretching.
"Just a sec." The sun dips lower down, just a sliver of orange visible above the water. This island is paradise, but it no longer feels like the only place I can be happy. I have this woman to thank for that.
As the last droplet of sunlight slides away, the lights in the tree flicker on. I hear Sanniyah's breath catch as she watches the twinkling bulbs come to life, one by one until the whole cove is sparkling like its own private galaxy.
Her eyes are wide as she looks around us. "Carter...what is...?" Then she finally notices that I am on one knee.
"Sanniyah Jones," I hold up the ring her mother helped me choose. "You've made me whole. Loving you is the easiest, most natural thing I've ever done and I intend to do it for the rest of my life if you'll let me. Will you marry me?"
I could live for the next thousand years on the strength of that delighted smile. "Of course. Oh my god Carter, you planned this!"
I grin as I slip the ring onto her finger. "I did, aren't you proud of me?"
"I thought you didn't plan," she chastises me as she cups my face, kissing me, hard. "But here you waited until the right moment, strung all these beautiful...fairy lights in the trees."
She narrows her eyes and I am laughing in spite of myself. "I know, how'd I do in your...professional opinion?"
She brushes my cheek with the hand that's wearing my ring. "I still say they're cliché..." she answers cheekily, her hands fiddling around my zipper. "But I'll forgive you if you kiss me right now."
THE END
Hey to all my wonderful readers! This is Mia Caldwell just wanting to thank you for giving one of my novels a try, and to double thank you for finishing it! Since you’ve been so good to me, I’ll be good to you. Keep turning pages because for a limited time I’m including a special little bonus: a copy of my bestselling novella, Dangerous Hearts!
That’s right, it’s all yours, just turn the page.
Thanks a third time, from the bottom of my heart.
Mia
Dangerous Hearts (BWWM Billionaire Steamy Romance)
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© 2015 Mia Caldwell
All Rights Reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This book is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locations is purely coincidental. The characters are all productions of the author’s imagination.
Please note that this work is intended only for adults over the age of 18 and all characters represented as 18 or over.
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DEDICATION
This book is dedicated to Denise. Love is blind, but friendship is created with both eyes open. Thank you for always being there, from the very bottom of my heart.