My quiet home was suddenly too quiet and too empty. I drank some coffee, hoping it would keep me awake until Creed got back. He had said he’d come here tonight, which was no different from every other night since we had reconnected and slept together. We hadn’t talked about a relationship yet or how things were going to work.
He had been giving me time to deal with my ending a four-year relationship and I was thankful for that. Although, I knew we soon needed to discuss us and eventually talk about the past. There was a lot of pain there that needed clearing. At least for me.
A knock on my door startled me and I jerked my gaze from the television I hadn’t been watching to stare at the door. It was close to nine, which meant it had been pitch black outside for hours and I wouldn’t be able to see who it was unless they moved left and stood in the porch light. Standing up, I walked over to the window to check if I could see and was unsuccessful.
I opened the wooden door and froze as I locked eyes with Griff. I didn’t reach for the lock on the screen door. I didn’t do anything. I was worried I might throw up. My stomach was not okay.
He had his hands stuffed in the front pocket of his black wool coat and a scarf I’d bought him when he moved to Boston wrapped around his neck. Neither of us said a word and I wondered if I was supposed to say something. I didn’t know what to say if he was waiting on me. I’d said it all.
“Can I come in?” he asked me, and I knew it was freezing outside…literally. I’d just checked the weather. I nodded, figuring it was the least I could do. I’d cheated on him and broken up with him. Letting him freeze outside seemed like a bad idea.
Reaching for the latch on the screen, it felt like I was moving in slow motion. I unhooked it and then opened it up for him. He walked past me and into my Gran’s house for the first time. If he had come that first weekend I was here, like we had planned, would we be in the place we are now? No, probably not, but we would still have problems. I just wouldn’t have acted on my feelings for Creed, but they’d have been there all the same. They were there the first day I saw him again; I’d just thought I’d overcome the way I felt for Creed.
“It’s exactly like you described it,” he said, as he stood in the middle of the living room looking around.
I said nothing. I just closed the door and waited for him to say why he was here. He’d told me goodbye on the phone and it had sounded final. His being here made it feel less final and I didn’t know how to feel about it. Part of me wanted to text Creed immediately, so he’d know Griff was here. Not that he would come racing back but just so he would know.
The other part of me felt like I owed Griff my full attention and texting Creed was insensitive. I stood there and did nothing.
Griff sighed heavily then turned his attention to me. “I’m not just letting you go, Sailor. I love you. I planned my future around you…around us. You’re my best friend. I can’t just let you tell me it’s over because some guy that hurt you in the past came back into your life. He hurt you before, so what’s keeping him from doing it again? I would never just walk away. I’m here proving that to you.”
Oh, god no. Please not this. I was not ready for this. I didn’t think this would happen. My chest hurt, my stomach was sick, and I felt positive I was going to cry at any moment. How did I handle this? The truth. I had to remember to stick to the truth.
“The past with Creed, it was…complicated. We found his sister dead from a drug overdose. Neither of us knew what she had been going through because that summer, instead of paying attention to the change in Cora, we were parking and having sex any chance we could get. Finding Cora like that, it was hard. It destroyed both of us, but Creed was her twin. He didn’t just walk away from me. He was dealing with losing his twin.”
Griff nodded. “I know all about Cora. Chet explained what you left out once I could think enough to talk about our conversation. But Sailor, y’all were kids. Hell, I thought I loved Sarah Norris at seventeen years old. That doesn’t mean anything.” He took a step toward me and I stiffened so he stopped. “I’ve had time to process things and I know this is partly my fault. You came here to be near me and I haven’t made seeing you a priority. You were lonely and I understand that. Then,” he throws his hand out with a look of disgust, “moody musician from your past walks in and sees you are vulnerable and works a fucking angle.”