Dave chuckled as I delicately wiped away a runaway drop of wine that was now trailing my chin. “Okay, enough about us.” He searched my face. “How are you?”
My brows furrowed and I spoke slowly. “My deceased ex-mafia boyfriend came back from the dead, lives across the street, and is now inside my house, in my space for at least eight hours of every day.” My brows dipped farther. “He makes sexual innuendos constantly and tells me he loves me a lot. He...” I took in a shuddering breath. “He’s being sweet, and funny, and he looks so goddamn good that half the time I’m imagining myself in bed with him.” My voice turned quiet as a small smile pulled at my lips. “And at this very moment, he’s camping out in my family room inside a blanket fort he made with his son, a son who loves him more than anything in the world.” I forced a smile, but my voice quaked. “So, you know, okay, I guess.”
Nikki’s eyes narrowed on me. “Oh my God,” she whispered.
My brows arched at her disbelieving tone. “What?”
Her eyes remained wide as she leaned in, her mouth gaping. “You fucked him.”
Dave gasped, putting a hand to his chest, his expression one of pure shock and, like the incredibly smart person I was, I just sputtered in astonishment. “How do you always know?”
Nikki leaned back, grinning, putting her arm to the back of Dave’s chair. Her shoulder jerked in a light shrug. “It’s a gift.” She grinned wider, looking extremely happy with herself.
Why were my friends assholes?
Dave blinked at me, his hand firmly planted to his chest. “I am shocked. Positively shocked.”
“I didn’t mean for it to happen,” I lied then sighed, setting the record straight. “Actually,” I started, my face falling, “it was kind of my choice.”
Another gasp escaped Dave, and I mock-cried, “You don’t know how hard it’s been to avoid him, to avoid how I feel about him, and I’m trying, but damn.” I sighed dreamily. “He hasn’t changed, not where it matters. Not in the bedroom.” Dave choked out a laugh, and my expression turned despondent. “I know. I’m an idiot.” I held my hands out to them. “I’m ready. Let me have it.”
Nikki shook her head. “I’m not going to yell at you.”
“I am,” Dave chimed in.
Nikki reasoned, “You have a huge emotional connection with this man, and, yeah, what he did was unforgiveable, but I know you, Lex. I know how much you loved him.”
“Well, I don’t know what you want me to say,” Dave uttered, exasperated. “It’s like youre inviting him to hurt you again. It’s fine that he’s being a good dad. That’s actually really great to hear. But he was not a good boyfriend.” He scoffed. “He wasn’t even a good human being.”
I knew this.
I knew all of this. But it was good to hear.
Nikki, ever the romantic, smiled. “He says he loves you, Lex. That’s huge coming from him.” Then she asked, “Are you going to give it another shot?”
Dave looked as if he was going to lose his mind. “No, she is not!” But when he looked at my hesitant face, his shoulders drooped. “Oh, God. You want that, don’t you?”
Ugh. All these questions and obvious observations had me anxious. “I don’t know what I want, okay?” I huffed out a long breath, running a hand through my hair. “I’m confused.” I was definitely that. “You guys haven’t seen him with A.J.” I smiled softly. “It’s the most adorable thing. He’s so good with him, in a way I never thought he could be, but he is.” Please understand. “He knows he made mistakes with me. He freely admits it. It’s like,” I tried to explain it in the best way I could, “he’s an advanced version of himself. He’s not Twitch anymore. He’s Twitch two-point-oh. It’s like his emotion chip has been upgraded or something.” I shook my head, feeling stupid. “I don’t know.”
The silence at the table lasted a while before Dave spoke, and he did it reluctantly. “Well, maybe if we did see,” he started. “Maybe if we could see this new and improved Twitch you speak of, maybe then all this wouldn’t seem so scary and we’d feel less anxious about the whole thing.”
But Nikki shook her head, smiling. “I’m not anxious. I think it’s nice.”
Dave rolled his eyes. “Okay, fine. I’m anxious, Lex, and can you really blame me?” No, I couldn’t. “Has he even given an explanation of where he’s been this whole time?”
I nodded, not offering an explanation because Twitch’s business was not their business.
“Okay.” Dave looked from me to Nikki. “So.” He shrugged. “Barbecue at casa de Ballentine?”
Wait. “What?” I asked guardedly.
Dave looked me in the eye. “If you want us to be accepting, I’m going to need to see all this firsthand.”
I thought about it.
It actually wasn’t a terrible idea. Perhaps being together would help us heal, all of us. The more I thought about it, the more perfect the idea sounded, and I smiled. “Okay. Barbecue at my place. Saturday, five p.m.” I pointed to Nikki. “Bring your niknaks.” I then pointed to Dave. “Leave your attitude at home.”
Nikki clapped. “Yay!”
Dave grumbled, “Can’t promise that.”
Now that the details had been ironed out, I was excited. It had been ages since we got together as a family. I don’t think I realized how much I needed it till just now. I needed my friends close. I needed things to go back to normal so it would be done.
Barbecue at casa de Ballentine.
Chapter
Twenty-Three
Lexi
The next day, I powered through a jog that I really didn’t want to do and made it home to shower just before 10:00 a.m. When I’d just opened the door to the bathroom, I heard my little monster say something that would completely wreck me.
“Daddy, can I stay with you?”
Every molecule of my being wanted to rush out of there, gun a-blazing, and tear this conversation up before it even began. But some small part of me wanted to hear what “Daddy” had to say about that. So I did what any other woman would have done.
I eavesdropped.
“Uh.” Twitch hesitated. “I don’t know about that, little dude.”
A.J. wasn’t deterred. “Why?”
“Because,” said Twitch matter-of-factly. “You belong with your mom.”
My wrath fizzled slightly.
My son tried again. “But I wouldn’t be far.”
“Exactly. So there’s really no need to stay with me, is there? Besides, I see you every single day, bud, and that’s not gonna change.”
A.J. let out a dejected sounding, “Okay.”
“Look,” Twitch told our saddened son. “I want you with me all the time. I do. I would love for you to stay with me, and maybe one day, we can do that. But not now. Okay, bud? Because right now, Mommy needs you to be with her.” When he added a soft-sounding, “You make her happy,” a small part of our broken trust repaired itself.
He had an open opportunity here. A golden ticket. But for some unknown reason, he hadn’t cashed in. And I was thankful.
I waited a few minutes before stepping out of the bathroom, and without pausing, I headed into my room to sit by the vanity, brushing out my wet hair. Not a minute later, the man in question was standing in my open doorway. I peered at him, and he stepped inside, talking in low tones. “Hey, so I don’t know what just happened, but—”
Cutting him off, I looked back into the mirror and brushed my hair. “I heard.” It was surprising, his need to disclose what had just occurred. I tried not the take my son’s need to be with his father personally, but it really hurt.
“I told him no,” he added, frowning at my expressionless face.
“I know.” I glanced up into his reflection. “I told you, I heard.”
He slid his hands into his pockets and watched me a long moment. “I thought you’d be upset.”
“I am,” I divulged. “But it’s not your fault.” I tried to explain without being unkind. “You’re sort of like a new toy. You
’re shiny and fun. And although you’re his father, I’m still the disciplinarian in this house, so...” I shrugged, trying to hide the pain my son’s innocent request had caused me. “I guess it’s natural for him to want you.”
Like I do.
Twitch took the two steps over, reached out, and touched a strand of my wet hair. His words were poised and self-assured. “One day, it won’t be an issue, because I’ll be living right here, under this roof, and he’ll have both Mommy and Daddy close enough that he’ll get bored of my surly ass and want his mom’s back.”
I looked up at his reflection with arched brows, fighting a smile. “Cocky, much?”