I’m very careful not to move a muscle, as I don’t want her to think I’m shrugging off her touch. She can touch me as long as she wants. I smile at her. “I’m okay. I think. I think I came to grips early on that this was probably a sure thing. I just don’t think Lida would have left someone else’s baby on my doorstep.”
“Speaking of her,” Pepper says and the tightness in her voice makes it clear she’s not a fan of a woman that would abandon her child. “Have you talked to her? Has anyone found her?”
I shake my head. “Officer Brandis called me earlier this week. They’re going to issue a warrant for her for child endangerment but he told me it’s unlikely it will ever get served. She’s probably back in Miami and she’s small potatoes in the criminal justice system.”
Pepper grimaces. “That doesn’t seem right.”
She’s right. I hope Lida gets prosecuted for this, but even if she did, I don’t think the penalty is going to be overly harsh. At worst, it’s going to ruin her chances of trying to get custody again, if she ever tried something like that.
I don’t know if she would but I know I sure as fuck am not going to let that happen.
“Louise is working with social services in Miami to try to locate her,” I tell Pepper. “They’re going to try to get her to sign formal relinquishment papers, and work with the DA’s office her to possibly drop the criminal charges if she does.”
“Oh,” Pepper says, her eyes lightening back up with her need for punishment seemingly resolved. “That would be good. Right? I mean…do you want her to be in the baby’s life? You must have cared about her a great deal…”
Her words trail off and it makes it sound like she’s trawling for personal, romantic information, and I find that to be adorable.
“She was just a short-term relationship I had,” I tell Pepper. “It was never that serious and I broke things off. Hadn’t heard from her or seen her since then.”
Pepper’s eyes move over my face, taking her time as she tries to glean information from my silent expression.
“You really are okay with this, aren’t you?” she asks in awe.
I give a bark of a laugh. “Fuck no, I’m not okay with this. My life just got turned upside down and kids weren’t in my immediate game plan. I most certainly never thought I’d be a single father to a newborn.”
“But…you’re in control of things,” she pushes at me.
I nod with a smile and note her hand is still on my arm. “I’ve come to grips with things. I’ve always been a levelheaded sort of guy, so I have no choice but to make myself ready for this.”
“Listen,” she says to my disappointment as she pulls her hand away. “I know I told you I’d help you with nanny interviews and stuff, but I’m in between books right now and only working on some illustrations that don’t have a set deadline, so I can help watch the baby until we can get someone hired.”
I stare at her a moment, first warmed by her generous offer, and next for just a moment longer as I realize…I still have things to learn about this woman. I knew she was an author of some popular children’s books, but I don’t really know what that even means in the terms of her work schedule.
It’s a conversation I need to have later, just as I want to know how she knows so much about babies and all the things my daughter will need.
“I’ll take you up on your offer,” I tell her as I rise from the couch and she follows. “But I have something even more important that I need help with.”
“What’s that?” she asks, eyes all bright and shining with enthusiasm.
“I need to name my daughter. Social services reached out to the hospitals in Miami and they are running into red tape finding a record of any birth under Lida’s name. Louise suggested I name the baby and I can petition to have her birth certificate changed later if need be. I’d love your help brainstorming with me.”
Pepper beams a huge smile at me and then throws her arms around my shoulders. It wasn’t what I was angling for, but fuck if I’m going to refuse it. She gives me a hard, smacking kiss that’s done and gone before I can even move my arms to hold her.
She leans back, grins even bigger. “Oh my God…I have so many names circulating in my head. There’s Emma, which is a favorite of mine but wait…no, you can’t use that because that’s hello…it’s a favorite of mine. I might want it some day. What about Samantha, then you can call her Sammy, which is super cute. Or I sort of like the classics…like Beatrix.”