Brooke shoots me an apologetic look as she slides off her stool. “Be right back. We have a lot to catch up on, I know.”
“You’re fine,” I tell her as I also hop off my stool. “I’m going to just pop into the other room and check on Billy. But then I want to hear the entire story of what happened between you and Bishop.”
She grins at me and nods toward the wine. “We’ll finish the bottle and I’ll tell you all the dirty details.”
I’d first met Brooke on the team plane for the very first away game we went on. She was working in team services at the time and traveled with the guys. She was “dating” Bishop, a surprise to many since she was the coach’s daughter. Turns out, it was all fake and then they were outed by the same woman who sued Erik for sexual harassment. It all blew up pretty big and was all over the news, but then the next thing you know, Brooke and Bishop are a couple for real. I know it’s going to be a great romantic story.
I leave the billiard room and walk into the den, coming up behind the couch that Erik’s sitting on. He’s leaning forward, perched on the edge of the cushion and intently engaged in a firefight next to Billy. Walking around the couch, I stand to the side, not wanting to block the TV in any way, of course.
Erik sees me from the corner of his eye, shoots me a quick glance, then a grin before looking back to the TV. “What’s up, babe?” he asks.
“Just want to see if you two need anything?”
Billy doesn’t even give me the time of day as he maneuvers his controller and his player on the screen shoots an automatic weapon with a loud rat-a-tat-tat. A huge barrel of fuel explodes and takes out three enemies.
“I’m good,” Erik says without looking at me.
“Billy?” I ask.
He ignores me, completely focused on the game.
“He’s fine,” Erik tells me, taking an actual moment to ignore the TV and turn to me. “I helped him with the bathroom a little bit ago.”
My chest cavity seems to restrict, or perhaps it’s my heart swelling, but it touches me deeply that Erik would take it upon himself to help with Billy’s toilet needs. A wave of emotion hits me hard and I suck in a deep, calming breath so I don’t start crying like a baby.
“Blue…you okay?” Erik asks, the game now completely forgotten and his expression slightly worried.
I smile at him and laugh, completely lying to him. “Yeah. My mind drifted. I forgot to take some extra Cool Whip out of the freezer for second rounds of pie. I’ll go do that now.”
Erik watches me closely, perhaps sensing the lie, but he finally smiles. “Okay then.”
His attention goes back to the TV but I feel like I’m starting to sink into an undertow of more emotion. I quickly make my way back through the billiard room where thankfully Brooke is still talking to Bishop and Pierce, and through the main living area. Rather than heading to the kitchen, I cut left and walk through the foyer and out the front door for a breath of fresh air.
I’m not being weighed down with sadness or fear or responsibility.
On the contrary, I’m being overwhelmed with joy, happiness, and a sense of belonging. Sometimes it’s too much for me to take in…process…accept. Erik stepping in to do something intimate for my brother without even thinking twice about it, affects me in such a profound way that I fear I might splinter apart from all of these wonderful but intense feelings.
I’m startled when the front door opens and Erik steps out. He pulls it shut, his eyes roaming over my face. “What’s wrong?”
So intuitive. So damned perceptive.
I think about lying but why should I? There’s nothing shameful in the way I feel, and perhaps I just need to celebrate it with someone. Erik would be that person.
“I just got a little overwhelmed in there,” I admit to him.
Erik steps into my space, hands to my cheeks and bends his head to stare at me closely. “Want me to get rid of everyone?”
My hands latch around his wrists and I give a soft laugh. “No. It’s not like that. Overwhelmed in a good way.”
He doesn’t say anything but I can tell he doesn’t understand. He doesn’t understand because Erik doesn’t think what he just did with Billy is a big deal at all. I don’t want to call him out on that, though, because I don’t want to embarrass him.
Rather, I explain it in a better way. “I didn’t realize how afraid I’d been over the last several months since my parents died and I took over Billy’s care. But I don’t feel scared anymore. It’s gone and it’s such a relief.”