Twisting back around, I walked away, the cloud in my head thickening again until the pain of wanting him turned into an addiction to the pain of rejecting him.
It grew and fed me every day from that point on.
Destroying myself and everything I loved and wanted for myself became the only thing I had any control over.
I could ignore him in class. Pass him in the halls without a look. Act like he didn’t exist.
Pretend I was above it all and they were nothing.
I did it all.
Time passed, seasons changed, he left for college, and a year later, so did I.
What I didn’t know then was that the damage we would do to each other was only just beginning.
Will
Present
Micah dropped her to her feet, took her hands, and twirled her around before pulling her in and holding her close. They danced and laughed, and my chest swelled, feeling too much all of a sudden, my arms weighing a ton.
I couldn’t help but smile to myself as I watched her. We all heard the music, one by one, each of us making our way down to the ballroom.
Micah couldn’t resist, instantly gravitating toward her, and it wasn’t until he had her in his arms that I saw the tears on her face.
She was quickly smiling, though, and it was heart-wrenching, because I knew I’d made her cry. No matter how many times I told myself she deserved to suffer, this wasn’t in my nature.
I’d be lost without some second chances myself. There were always two sides to a story, and everything was just a matter of perspective.
But finding out that she was the one who sent us to prison was almost a relief. It finally gave me permission to hate her and not just resent her because she had rejected me.
Micah swung her out, and she twirled, stepping on her tiptoes, and the both of them danced the Mashed Potato or some equally dumb dance, and I smiled even wider. For a few moments, we weren’t in Blackchurch. We were friends, hanging out and having a good time.
And suddenly, I missed home a lot.
“Go to her,” Alex urged me.
Taylor, Aydin, and Rory hung back, amusement written on their faces, and part of me wanted to go to. It was like a whole other world to see her like this.
But years of disappointment and doubt kept me rooted in my spot.
“Ow, ow!” Emmy suddenly yelped.
I shot my gaze up, seeing her stumble before Micah rushed in and pulled her up to him, keeping her steady.
She hissed, lifting her leg off the floor, and I saw blood stream down the bottom of her foot.
I took a step, but then Aydin stormed in, heading to the middle of the dance floor, and I stopped, watching him.
“Ow,” she grunted, but then chuckled, looking around the floor. “Shit, the glass.”
Aydin glared at Micah. “I thought you said you cleaned it up.”
“I did clean it up,” he rushed to explain.
Aydin swept Emmy into his arms, a couple of drops dripping off her heel, and my blood boiled so hot I felt nauseated, seeing her in his arms.
Goddammit. If my head would just settle on one emotion where she was concerned, that would be fucking fantastic. I hate her, but she’s mine. Go away, but don’t go with him!