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She stiffens from my touch yet doesn’t move away. “I should stay and keep an eye on stuff …” She releases a loud breath and then finally looks up at me. “You know what? Never mind. I’m going to go with you tonight and have some fun. My mother has her cell phone. I just have to make sure I check up on her. Although, I doubt she’ll be awake tonight. The meds she’s on are pretty heavy.”

“Aterre you sure? Because I don’t mind—”

She conceals my mouth with her hand. “Nope, you and I are going out tonight. No buts.”

“Yes, boss.” Then, just because I know it’ll make her smile, I lick the palm of her hand.

“Micha!” she squeals, laughing as she backs away, bumping her hip against the fence. “That’s so gross.”

I artfully grin. “My tongue’s been inside your mouth before. How could that be any grosser?”

She puts her hands on her hips. “Hey, who said I didn’t think the kiss was gross?”

“My kisses aren’t gross,” I assure her.

“At fourteen, maybe they were.”

I mock being offended, pressing a hand to my chest like she’s wounded my heart. Really, she has the complete power to do so. “Wow, way to ruin my ego. For four years, I thought I rocked your world, and now you’re telling me I didn’t.”

She flashes me a haughty smile. “No way. I’ve had way better kisses.” She whirls around, and I watch her ass as she saunters over to my car.

“That’s such bullshit.” I chase after her, no longer pretending I’m offended anymore—I am offended. That kiss rocked my fucking world. Hell, it might have been the starting point of the obsession I’ve developed for her.

When I reach her, I dodge around and barricade her path to the passenger side of the car. “That kiss was the best you’ve ever had. Admit it.”

She crosses her arms, giving me a glimpse of my very favorite side of her—the bold, spitfire side. “So you want me to lie to you?”

“Wow,” I say sullenly, massaging my aching chest with my balled fist. “That fucking hurts, Ella. You seriously just broke my heart.”

“What can I say?” She puts her lips close to my face, eliciting a stutter from my aching heart. “Payback’s a bitch,” she whispers then licks my neck, giggling under her breath as she steps back, totally proud of herself. “That was for the hand lick.” She smirks then veers around me to get into the Chevelle, leaving me speechless.

And fucking rock hard.

I adjust my cock then take about one more minute to compose myself before slamming the hood of the car down and climbing in the driver’s seat. Then I rev up the engine, telling myself not to ask, but my need to know overcomes me.

“So, was the payback just the lick?” I rotate in my seat to look at her. “Or was the remark about the kiss part of your evil, heart breaking plan, too?”

Her green eyes sparkle with amusement. “What do you think?”

“I think it was a great fucking kiss, especially for being only fourteen.” I drape my arm on the seat behind her head and play with her hair. “But I want to know what you think.”

She slumps her head against the seat, chewing on her bottom lip as she struggles with something internally, her playful mood shifting. “I think the kiss was … great,” she whispers softly. “You’re great, Micha.” With that, she turns away from me and stares out the window.

“You’re great, too.” And I love you. I’m in love with you, Ella.

My tongue burns to utter the last words, the thing I’ve wanted to tell her for almost two years now, but like always, I chicken out. I can’t have my relationship with Ella end. Can’t—won’t—live my life without her. And, if it means we have to stay friends, then we have to stay friends. I just hope, with time, she’ll finally be able to feel the same way toward me. Maybe when we get out of this shitty town and start our life together, like we’ve been planning since age fourteen.

Burying my emotions, I instead say exactly what she needs to hear. “You ready for some fun tonight?” I pump the gas pedal and the engine roars to life.

Her attention whips back to me. She attempts not to smile, but when I playfully waggle my eyebrows at her and floor the gas pedal again, her laughter bursts through.

“God, what would I do without you?” she says, and my heart ceases in my chest.

“Probably be way less horny,” I tease then laugh when she punches me in the arm.

“I’m never horny for you.” Her cheeks tint red. I have to wonder if sometimes, when I’m sneaking touches, she secretly likes it.

“Whatever you have to say to get yourself through the day.” I release my foot off the brake and peel down the driveway and onto the road.

Then we fly through town with the windows rolled down and a breeze blowing in, heading for the party. We stay there for about forty-five minutes then bail because the cops show up. Ella seems mildly disappointed so I silently vow to make sure she has fun tonight. I drive toward the mountains with music playing from the car speakers. Both of us remain quiet, content.

When we reach the foothills, Ella scoots forward in her seat and spreads her arms out to the side, angling her head back and shutting her eyes. “I wish everything could stay like this forever, just you and me in this car. No parents. No big, scary world. No responsibilities.”

“Things can stay this way.” I glance back and forth between her and the road, mesmerized by the arch of her chest, her relaxed body, her parted lips. “As long as we’re together, we can always have this, no matter where we are.”

Usually, she’d agree with me but, like the last couple of weeks, she stays silent.

“Ella, are you sure you’re okay?” I ask, gripping the steering wheel. “You’ve seemed kind of—I don’t know—different lately.”

She nods but doesn’t say anything. I’d press for more, but I don’t want to sidetrack her from the few moments of freedom she has, so I bite down on my tongue and bottle up my emotions, telling myself everything will be okay.

We have a plan to stay together forever, and as long as we stick to that plan, everything will be fine.

Chapter 5

Ella

I’m having way too much fun. I’m having way too much fun, and I feel guilty. I’m having way too much fun, and I feel guilty about it because I bailed out and left my mother home unsupervised. And the air smells like it’s going to rain. It might not seem like much, but every time I have fun and it rains, disaster happens. Like in eleventh grade when I broke my arm snowboarding off the roof. I was having fun and rain was pouring down from the clouds, melting the snow into sleet, making it slippery and causing me to wipe out epically during the landing. Or like when I wrecked my dad’s car racing. Then there was the time Micha and I snuck into the local swimming pool and got caught. All rain, rain, rain.


Tags: Jessica Sorensen The Secret Book Series