Chapter 12
She is on my mind night and day.
If I thought it was hard to stop thinking about her then, I know it’s impossible now. I see her everywhere; still feel her touch on my sensitive skin. I touch myself, thinking it’s her hand that’s bringing me pleasure. I deal with my guilty conscience and try to ignore the hurt when she doesn’t call, all the while thankful for it – because I know she should stay away, know that we’re bad together.
Scratch that.
Together, we’re perfect. Her lithe body, my huge strong build. Her blonde hair, my dark crop. Her green eyes, my murky grey pair. She is light and I am dark, but together it just makes sense.
But society says it shouldn’t. And Emme seems to agree, because she stays away.
You know what hurts most, though?
The fact that she doesn’t stay away from Aiden. Actually, it’s the other way around – the two spend more and more time together as the days pass. How do I know this, since I’m not in contact with Emme? Because Aiden won’t shut up about it.
It’s all about Emme.
Emme bought me this shirt, Emme took me to lunch to this restaurant. Emme wants to get me an opening at an art gallery; Emme gave me tickets to this concert.
I don’t want to tell him she’s basically supporting him, because everything Aiden tells me about our stepsister involves her giving him stuff or money. You’re her bitch, I want to tell Aiden viciously.
But I don’t, even though it’s hard to stop myself.
And the hardest thing about this is the fact that I’m completely disconnected with my brother. He doesn’t have a clue about the kiss Emme and I shared, he doesn’t even know I’ve had a crush on her for years.
Here’s the thing – Aiden is my twin. No matter who I’m with, he is my other half. He knows everything about me, and keeping this secret is tormenting me.
But in my defense, Aiden is being a complete prick about the whole thing.
He used to love Emme. I know he did. They were best friends. But now all he talks about when we’re alone is the money. He’s in it to win it – still stuck on the plan I’ve almost abandoned as a thing that belongs in the drunken past.
Aiden is a user. He’s going to hurt her, and take the money, and I can do fuck all about it because it was my idea.
But selfishly, I want to be the one to make Emme laugh, make her cringe, make her blush. I want to be the one who hurts her. I don’t want Aiden to have that power over me.
***
Days pass.
My mind blurs them all together. They become a mess of Aiden coming and going, his smile growing bigger each day as he spends more and more time with Emme.
I am never once invited to come with them.
It’s like I don’t exist.
She doesn’t make an effort to contact me, not once.
And the days pass slower and slower.
Because without her, they don’t matter at all. They’re empty and dark without her smile, especially when I know my brother sees it every day.
Aiden doesn’t fail to tell me all about their meetings.
Did I know Emme started drinking coffee, when she hated it as a kid?
Did he tell me Emme thinks blue looks good on him?
Oh, and did he mention Emme bought him art supplies to last him several months?
But the best of all, according to Aiden, will be her face when he eventually breaks up with her. Because all this is building up to a relationship, Aiden is sure of it. And viciously, he can’t wait to hurt her.
>
It’s all my fault.
And I can’t do shit about it.
Chapter 13
I don’t know how, but it just so happens that two weeks pass without me noticing. It’s strange, because they’re the longest two weeks of my fucking life.
It’s Friday and some old friends have roped me into going out with them. I’ve been avoiding them since my kiss with Emme, when before that, we would go out at least twice every week. They call me out on it, asking if I’m bed bound with a booty call every night.
Only I know that couldn’t be farther from the truth.
So finally, I take them up on their offer, and I decide to go to a new club with them. It’s opening night and I’m hoping to get my mind off of a few things.
I’ve ignored Aiden almost completely, and he doesn’t even notice, he’s so wrapped up in his plan. So when I announce I’m going out, he just nods, too busy with our plan which has quickly turned into his own project.
That night as I shrug on my leather jacket, I promise myself this night is Emme-free. I’m going out to forget, and have some fun while I do it. I put on my boots and quickly glance at the mirror.
I hate looking at myself lately, because it feels like I’m staring at my brother, and all I picture is him talking about Emme. And it fucking hurts that while I look the same, she chose him over me.
Shaking my head, I say goodbye to Aiden and head out the door.
“My man!”
I’m greeted with excited laughter and slaps on the back from my friends as we pile into a cab. It brings a smile to my face, knowing they’re here for me, and it grows when they shell out the fare, because I’m broke as hell, and they know it, but still want to hang out with me.
We catch up in the cab, and pretty soon, we arrive at our destination. I’m already laughing when we get out of the cab, and I’m so thankful to my friends. I know that I need this and as my eyes scan the crowd of beautiful, scantily dressed women, I feel perkier immediately.
Seth, my best friend from college, gets a round to start us off, and I down three vodka shots immediately as my friends cheer me on.