I watch with eager eyes as Tarryn reaches into his crib and gently pulls him out while being careful not to jostle him too much. He looks up at her with wide eyes, absolutely loving the attention. He has such a goofy smile, it’s just like his fathers. It’s incredible how similar they look.
Bull’s mom had brought a baby picture with her one day, and I stared at them for hours on end. The resemblance is uncanny.
Tarryn passes Zeke to me, and I take him greedily, pulling him into my arms and holding him to my chest as though it’s exactly where he belongs. My heart melts. These are the moments I live for. Zeke snuggles into me just like his father does, and a tear rolls down my cheek. He is so damn precious.
I walk over to the recliner, more careful than I’ve ever been in my life, and take a seat. I lean back and stare down at his beautiful big eyes, and he looks back up at me, warming every little fiber within me.
I start singing to him, knowing that he loves the sound of my voice, but as the first few words come out of my mouth, something wet starts seeping between my legs.
I look down to find a wet patch between my legs that’s rapidly getting worse. “Oh no,” I whisper, holding onto Zeke a little tighter. It can’t be time. Not yet. We still have a few weeks to go.
I glance up at Tarryn, knowing exactly what she’s going to do the second the words come out of my mouth. “I think my water just broke,” I tell her with a sigh. I’ve been having Braxton Hicks contractions all day, and I figured it was nothing. I got it both with Coby and Ryan and felt the difference when it was the real thing, but maybe this time is different. Maybe I had it wrong, and I’ve actually been having real contractions all day.
Tarryn’s brow raises in curiosity before she puts down whatever it is she’s doing over there and moves toward me. “You’re sure?” she questions, reaching down to take Zeke.
“Uh, yeah,” I say, indicating down to my pants.
“Well,” she beams. “It looks like you’re going to become a mother of four sooner than you thought.”
I cringe as she takes Zeke back to his crib, and I get myself up. There’s a puddle left on the recliner, and shame takes over. I know it shouldn’t, but I guess it’s just a natural reaction. I’m sure these women are used to all sorts of crap in their jobs. I’m sure a little baby juice is nothing new to them.
I stand over Zeke, looking down at him with heartache. I’m not ready to leave him yet, but considering I’m leaving a trail everywhere I go, I kind of have no choice.
“Bye, my beautiful boy,” I murmur, brushing my knuckles over his soft cheek. “Mommy will be back as soon as I can, and I promise we’ll take you home.”
Before I know what’s happening, Tarryn moves in behind me with a wheelchair. “Oh,” I laugh, waving her off. “I’m good. I can walk myself up there.”
“Nope, sorry. Hospital policy. Get your butt in this chair and let me take you up to maternity.”
I groan and lower my ass into the wheelchair. I keep my eyes on Zeke as Tarryn wheels me out, and my heart breaks seeing him being left alone in the big room. Though don’t get me wrong, there are nurses and other parents around, but at this very moment, he’s looking up at nothing but the ceiling when there should be a smiling face staring back down at him.
A contraction comes along, and I adjust myself in the chair. It’s not exactly a comfortable position to be in, but nothing really is when you’re this pregnant.
Tarryn pushes me inside the elevator and presses the button for level two before chatting away about Zeke’s condition. Truth be told, I’m completely zoning out and going into panic mode. This wasn’t supposed to happen like this. I still have a few weeks to go. Is it even safe for me to deliver a few weeks early? I was a week early with Coby, but how early is too early? Surely Tarryn would have a quicker pace on her if she thought the baby or I were in any type of danger.
I let that thought settle my mind and start going over everything. This certainly wasn’t what I was expecting to happen today. I was hoping to spend time with Zeke, hold onto Bull for the briefest moment as he arrived to watch our little boy, then I was going to get my girls and take them home before spending way too long in a warm bath.
Pushing a baby out of my vag certainly wasn’t on the cards.