My heart started to pound.
No.
No
No!
I didn’t want to do that!
Before I could go back to reverse the action, something else happened.
He’d accepted my request.
Shit!
He must have thought that was really random of me. Even though our siblings were married, we had barely ever spoken. To receive a random friend request from me a year after the one time we’d met must have seemed odd—like I’d been thinking about him. Stalking him.
I know what you’re thinking. Don’t say it.
I was just about to close down my laptop in shame when a message notification chimed.Tyler: Hey, Jade.Type something.
Type.
Okay…uh…
Sound casual.Jade: Hi.Tyler: Long time no see. How are you?Jade: I’m well.Well, that was a lie.Tyler: Good.I think the rum and Coke might have been kicking in when I typed the next line.Jade: That was a lie.Tyler: What?Jade: Things are actually pretty sucky.Tyler: I’m sorry to hear that. My day sucked, too.Jade: I bet I have you beat.Tyler: Only one way to find out. What happened to you?Jade: I found out I was dating a married man.Tyler: Yeah. Okay. You win.Jade: LOL.Tyler: That is far worse than forgetting to record The Walking Dead.Jade: You probably think my friend requesting you is really random. It was actually an accident since the button is so close to the cover photo.It took me a minute to realize my mistake. Shit! How could it have been an accident if I was on his page in the first place? Now, I’d made myself look like a stalker.
(Don’t say it.)Tyler: So, you were just on my page lurking, and you accidentally hit the friend request button? LOL.Jade: Actually, I was checking your page to see if there were any pictures of Little D that I’d missed.I thought that was as decent attempt at a save.Tyler: Ah. Thanks for explaining. I’d almost fucked up and admitted that I sometimes check Broadway.com to see what you’re up to, but that would make me look like a stalker if it was one-sided.Jade: You do?Tyler: Maybe.Jade: See anything interesting?Tyler: You were at some party wearing a black dress that was held up on the sides by these giant, gold paperclips.Jade: LMAO. It was vintage couture.Tyler: It was…something. Yeah.Jade: What else did you see?Tyler: You were standing next to some older-looking dude in glasses.Jade: Yes. That’s him. The asshole, Jeremy.Tyler: First rule of thumb in our business is never date a costar. They don’t teach you that on the Great White Way?Jade: It should be common sense. I guess you’re smarter than me, Tyler.Tyler: Not really. I learned the hard way. LOL.Jade: Ah, I see.Tyler: Yup.Jade: Your girlfriend now…she’s not an actress, though, right? Chelsea mentioned she does makeup?Tyler: Yes. She’s a freelance makeup artist.Jade: Fun.Tyler: “Fun.” You really mean that, or you’re just saying it?Jade: Actually, that job sounds pretty boring. I wouldn’t have the patience.Tyler: That’s what I thought. You don’t have to sugarcoat stuff with me, Jade. We’re family, remember?Jade: Oh, yeah. Right. So much so, we’ve never even really had a conversation until now. LOLTyler: It’s not my fault you’ve been stalking my page without so much as a hello. ;-)Jade: I wasn’t.I totally was.Tyler: I’m kidding.Jade: Anyway, I’m probably taking up too much of your time.Tyler: Not at all. I’m the one who interrupted your lurking with a message, remember?Jade: That’s true, I suppose.Tyler: Hey, how’s your mother?The abrupt change of subject hit me hard. I didn’t even know how to respond. My mother was diagnosed with stage four cancer six months ago. She’d been undergoing chemo in a feeble attempt to contain the disease that had already spread.
Living far away during this time had been the most difficult thing I’d ever had to do. But Mom insisted that it would upset her if I left New York to come home to California. She made me promise not to give up this role. But each day, not being there for her was eating away at me more.
Hot tears were streaming down my face.Jade: She’s not doing too well, actually.Tyler: God, I’m sorry.He must have sensed something when I didn’t respond after a full minute.Tyler: I didn’t mean to upset you.Jade: It’s okay. I just can’t really talk about it. The only way I’m able to survive this day to day is to pretend it’s not happening.Tyler: I can completely relate to that.Jade: How so?Tyler: The time period right after my father died. I was only eleven. It was easier to try to take my mind off things than to deal with it. Damien started doing graffiti. That was his way of handling it. That was when I first got into acting in middle school. It helped. The thought of losing someone who you love is unbearable, so it’s just easier to block it out. I get it.Jade: Sometimes I feel really selfish for being here. My sisters are the ones having to help take care of her while I’m across the country.