“Lookin’ forward to it,” I said, shaking my head.
As I headed to the bathroom I let out a long breath. The day was going good. Everything was simpler than I’d thought it would be. I should’ve known that even though people here missed me, they’d give me a bit of space. I was happy to be at the club and glad to see the people I’d missed over the years. All the kids were growing up and the adults all had a few more wrinkles, but everyone was familiar. Comfortable.
“Hey, handsome,” Callie said as I met her outside the bathroom. “It’s nice to see your pretty face.”
“That’s my line,” I replied, leaning down to give her a hug. “How you been?”
“No complaints,” she said, rubbing my arm. “Glad you’re finally home.”
“Yeah, me, too,” I said, nodding.
“I’m sure you’ve heard that a thousand times today, huh?” she asked jokingly.
“Closer to a hundred,” I replied.
“Well, that’s just because it’s true. We’ve missed you around here.”
“I’ve missed everyone, too.”
“I bet,” she said, her smile fading a bit. “Listen—”
I braced for whatever she was about to say. With Kara being her granddaughter, I was a little nervous that I was going to have to ignore whatever it was.
“Asa did time,” Callie said, taking the conversation in an entirely different direction. “I know most of the boys have,” she said, gesturing toward the main room. “But Asa did real time. Like you.”
“Yeah, I know,” I replied softly.
“Well, I just wanted to remind you,” she said kindly. “Just in case—you know—you wanted to talk to someone that gets it.” She shook her head from side to side. “I know, I know, you’re men and you don’t talk about things. But still. I know it’s an adjustment and he’s there, we both are, even if you just want to come bullshit and have a beer.”
“I appreciate it,” I said softly.
“I know we don’t talk about it,” she said just as softly, tilting her head to the side. “Like it’s some sort of taboo bullshit—but I remember why you went in. And no matter if it was smart or dumb, right or wrong, I know why you did it. That’s not something our family will ever forget.”
I nodded, unsure what to say.
“Someone sticks up for one of my girls like that, they’ve got my loyalty,” she said, patting my arm. “I’ll let you pee.”
“Thanks,” I said as she moved away.
I went into the bathroom and locked the door behind me, taking a moment to just breathe. I was used to being around people. Hell, I’d been surrounded by men every minute of my life since I was just a kid—but that was so different it couldn’t even be considered in the same category. I didn’t have to watch my back in the clubhouse. I didn’t have to have eyes in the back of my head or continuously scan the room to be sure nothing was about to go down. I could relax now that I was home—though my body had other ideas. I was so fucking tense my shoulders were practically touching my ears. Tension was beginning to give me a headache at the base of my skull.
“Give it a minute,” I mumbled to myself in the mirror, repeating the words Grease had said to me outside the prison when the boys had come to pick me up. Callie was sweet as hell to let me know that I could come to her or her man if I needed someone to talk to, but Grease had already let me know that far less eloquently.
After peeing and washing my hands, I splashed some water on my face and took a deep breath. I needed to get back out there before Curtis or worse, Charlie, came looking for me.
As I stepped out of the bathroom, a familiar voice was yelling over the noise.
“I’m sorry! Jay stuffed a piece of candy cane up his nose this morning and we had to detour on our way here to get it out,” Rose called out. “All is well and he now smells deliciously of peppermint.”
“It buwned,” a little voice called out in excited horror.
Taking two steps toward the archway that led to the main room, I straightened my shoulders and lifted my chin. Damned if I’d slink back into the room with everyone watching to see how my reunion with Kara went. Not for the first time since I’d fallen asleep the night before, I cursed the fact that she’d forced us to do this with an audience.
All of it was for nothing, though, because before I could turn from the hallway into the main room, a slender form hurried around the corner and plowed right into me.
“Shit,” she said, taking a step back as she tilted her head back. “Shit,” she whispered again, her eyes widening.