“I wouldn’t say that I barely know him,” I mumble, my body growing warm from the memories of the day before.
It’s the next night and I’m still in Luke’s house. He was gone this morning, but before he left he made me breakfast in bed and got me off with his mouth. We haven’t had sex after that first, intense time. Instead, he held me all night and I slept. I slept like a baby. I felt safe and content.
I can’t remember feeling content, at least not in a long time and never this satisfied. I’m not talking physically either—although I can say Luke does that and more. This is a soul-deep satisfaction, a happiness that doesn’t fade with the sunrise, it just gets better. I didn’t know that was possible.
“Sis, be serious here,” Hawk growls, clearly not happy with me.
“I am being serious. I really like Luke. I need time to figure out exactly what he’s doing and how he feels about me,” I return, hating the fact that I sound like I’m whining to my brother. I don’t whine. I really need for him to sit on this, though. If he doesn’t, it could all end way too soon.
And it wouldn’t end well for Luke—of that much I’m sure.
“You don’t think Mom and Dad are going to blow a gasket when you don’t come home? They’re only going to buy that you’re staying at Gabby’s for so long, Jazz.”
“I know. I’ll think of something. I just need you to sit on this. At least for a little while, please?”
“If Dad or Mom asks me point blank, I’m not going to lie, Jazz, not even for you.”
“Then it’s a good thing you’re going back to school and won’t be around,” I mutter.
“Won’t help. Unlike you, I talk to our parents every night.”
“Yeah, I know. You’re the golden child. I’m the black sheep,” I mutter, trying to ignore the bitterness that tries to rise up.
“Stop being like that, you know Mom and Dad love you. They’d do anything for you.”
“Except believe me.”
“Jazz—”
“I don’t want to talk about it, Hawk. Will you please just stop giving me this grief and sit on this for a little while?”
“You have to check in with me every day,” he mutters.
“Hawk—”
“Every single day, Jazz.”
“Fine,” I huff.
“Good. You know I love you, Jazz, right?”
“You realize that you’re my little brother, not my big one, right? It’s not your job to rescue me,” I mumble, instead of answering his question.
“Someone has to rescue you, you never look out for yourself,” he returns.
“I’m hanging up now. Luke will be back soon.”
“Take care of yourself.”
“Always,” I tell him and then, with a sigh, I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. “And Hawk?”
“Yeah, Sis?”
“I love you bigger than outer space.”
“Love you, Jazzy,” he says as he hangs up. I can hear the smile in his voice and because I can, I smile too. As brothers go, I’m pretty sure I won the lottery.13Grunt“What in the fuck were you thinking?”
Ford’s bellowing reverberates off the cement walls of his office. Really, the walls are made up of cinderblocks. The whole compound is. Ford figured it’d be harder to burn that way. We slapped plywood and stained it, with sheet insulation under that in most of the place, but stone walls are the norm for Ford’s office and the kitchen. The bar is like that too, though we did smooth plaster over that and it looks cool. For the most part it’s a no-frills place. We come here to meet, drink, get high and fuck. Most of the time we do all four.
“Ford—”
“I told you to bring me that Gabby chick and you refused—”
“Now, hold up, man, I didn’t refuse,” I argue, even knowing that arguing with Ford is bad for your health.
He slams his hand down on the table. “Now is not your time to talk asshole. You want to explain to me why you have that redhead in your house while you still have all of your teeth and can talk plain?”
I rub the back of my neck and finally just shrug and say fuck it.
“She belongs to me.”
“Belongs…”
“I wanted her, so I took her and I’m keeping her.”
“Jesus, couldn’t you have decided this about someone that wouldn’t give me grief when it’s discovered?”
“It’s not going to cause you grief. Red is only a friend to that Gabby chick. She’s not part of the Devil’s Blaze. She’ll be inconsequential and probably not even on their radar.”
“You can’t be that naïve,” he accuses me.
It’s not that I’m being naïve, but I doubt they’ll even notice if Jasmine isn’t around, especially if I make sure she reports back to her friend that she’s healthy and happy.
“Red will make sure Gabby knows she’s fine. I’m not some stupid, wet-behind-the ears-holding-my-dick-in-my-hand prospect, Ford. I know what’s at stake here and I will always put the club first,” I growl back, irritated that he’s questioning me. There’s a little voice inside of me saying that maybe I wouldn’t. Maybe, just maybe, Jasmine would come first now, but I squash it down.