She was accepting, greedy.
Gorgeous.
Fucking dangerous.
It should make this easier, fighting and denying, knowing there’re parts of her she doesn’t want to share—what a story the marks on her skin must tell—but it doesn’t.
Somehow, as sickening as it is to admit, it makes it worse.
She doesn’t trust me either.
What’s worse is the way the knowledge makes me ache.
I want her to give me all the things a woman gives her man.
Her faith, her heart, her heat.
For what, though?
What will I do with those things once I have them?
Even more frightening, what will she do when she realizes she’s stolen parts of mine?
I close my notebook, tucking it back into the drawer at the side of my bed, and lift my laptop from my comforter, rewinding and pressing play for what must be the hundredth fucking time, each one making her voice clearer and clearer.
“Cap. Yo,” Royce shouts from the stairwell. “You up there?”
I let the rest of the video play out, then hit pause, and toss it aside. “Yeah,” I call back, swinging my legs over the side of my bed.
He comes around the corner as I run my hands through my hair.
He frowns, nodding his chin. “What’s going down?”
I hang my head a moment before slightly lifting it and glancing up at him. “She recorded the videos.”
At first, he frowns, tilting his head a bit and then his eyes widen. “Wait, what?”
I sigh, letting my arms fall to the keyboard.
When I made my way back to my room last night, I did so after having snagged Zoey’s tablet from the media room so I could copy all the files to my hard drive.
“Listen.” I rewind it by a few seconds and press play.
Royce hesitantly looks from it to me and back, nodding.
He steps closer, watching us fuck around on screen. Like me, a hint of a grin finds his lips as Raven talks, but then his shoulders straighten and the video cuts off. I pause before it can move into the next one.
He turns to me with a frown, looks me over, easily spotting my lack of sleep. “I’m guessing you already watched it a solid dozen times to be sure?”
“It’s her, Royce. Raven must have been walking up this time, and she cut off before she was seen.”
“And she had to hide it ‘cause we didn’t know she knew about Zoey.”
I nod.
He licks his lips as his hands find his hips. “Huh. That explains the back and forth footsteps in the hall last night.”
A scoffed laugh leaves me, but a groan quickly follows, and I drag my hands down my face. I let them fall to my sides and look to my brother.
“What if she wasn’t here? I wouldn’t have been able to make Zo happy, help her feel better.”
“Stop.” His forehead tightens and he steps in to grip my shoulder, his eyes firm. “None of us have ever felt more worthless or weak or any other fucked up thought you could possibly have than we did last night. You were alone in none of it. We fucking felt it, shit, we feel what you’re feeling right now. She’s ours, too, brother. She hurts, we hurt.”
A heavy sense of comfort weighs on me, mixing with the ache of helplessness and overwhelming me to the point I have to look away.
Royce steps toward the door, and I nod, moving with him.
“Let’s go tell the others.”
We make our way down the stairs, through the billiard room, and out the backdoor.
As we step around the large pergola and into the grass, Zoey’s animated voice reaches us, and Royce swings a grin my way. “Thank fuck she’s feelin’ a little better, and it’s cool enough out.”
I nod. “She was sweating pretty bad this morning, so I’m hoping tonight won’t be a repeat. Not sure I can handle that.”
“Yeah, brother. You can.” He nudges me with his shoulder. “But I sure as fuck hope you don’t have to.”
As we get to the curve of the yard, my family comes into view, and I quickly throw my arm out to stop Royce’s advance.
His head snaps my way with a frown, but then he looks out and a light nod leaves him.
Maddoc sits in the grass with his legs bent, feet planted on the ground while Zoey sits on her knees between them.
She has something in her hand and slowly opens it.
Maddoc darts his out, attempting to take whatever it is, but she quickly yanks it into her chest.
She laughs loudly, her little head tipping back. She falls to her butt when Maddoc reaches out to tickle her. After a moment, she pushes the little loose curls from her face and smiles at him.
Her mouth is moving, but I can’t hear what she says.
I look to my brother, watching as a smile grows, one I’ve never seen. It’s soft and gentle, but there’s a strain at the edge of his eyes.