“Oh Lexi. What’s wrong? Should I go get Sax?” I don’t realize I am crying until she asks me that. I can’t pull it together enough to answer her. I simply shake my head and continue to ball my eyes out. I feel like such a fraud. What am I doing? Nothing about this says love or devotion. Maybe I am simply a means to an end for him. I think I am going to be sick. I feel myself gag as the thought crosses my mind. I have no idea how the thought never crossed it before. I mean, it is the only thing that makes sense. He saw me, figured I was easy, which turns out I am if this is any indication and poof. Here I am, hedging my bets on a man, using me. I am my mother’s daughter.
“Alexis what’s wrong?” I look up at the sound of his voice. Holy hell. He gets finer and finer every time I see him. Here he comes walking toward me in a button up shirt, sleeves rolled up to his forearm, showing his tattoos, and his strong hands and forget crying. All I want to do is strip.
“Nothing. I just...I don’t know what I am doing here.” I say honestly. I mean the time for saving feelings has come and gone. Right now, there is only time to be honest and truthful. He places this small box down, that I didn't notice until now and kneels in front of me as I sit on the bed.
“What are you saying, baby? You don’t love me?” The sincerity in his eyes and the clarity in his voice, forces me to really look at him. Right now, this very moment, he is kneeling before me, holding my hands, looking me in the eye, asking me the same thing I want to know of him.
“I don’t know how I am even saying this, but I do Sax. It’s nuts. We barely know one another. We have both been creeping, steadily but nothing upfront. So, for this to be the case, shocks even me, but I do. I just don’t understand how you could really love me?” My head drops as I say the words. I might be a glutton for punishment, but I need the truth. If I am going to have my heart broken, I would rather not be humiliated with it.
“I understand what you are saying, Lexi. Trust me I do. The only difference being, my parents came together the same way. My father said he saw my mom one day standing in front of an ice cream shoppe with her friends and his heart stopped. He said he almost ran over the delivery boy, he was so distracted. He looked at her as she laughed with her friends, not knowing he existed, and he knew she was going to be his wife. He followed her home that day and found out who her family was. The next day, he went to her father and asked for her hand. They dated for two weeks before they wed. Sure, our story is different, but the premise is the same. My father has always told my siblings and I that when we find our one, don't let little things like time, age, or family get in the way. I intend to listen to him.” My brain is struggling to keep up as my heart begins to beat uncontrollably. Somehow, I can sense something is coming.
“Now, I assume, that the fact that you don’t have a ring has quite a bit to do with your insecurity. Am I right?” I nod. My voice will not work right now. He reaches behind him for the box he brought here, and my breathing becomes shallower. He opens the box and inside, sitting on top of a silk pillow, is the most beautiful ring I have ever seen. My eyes immediately begin to blur as the tears form swiftly.
“I am so sorry you didn’t get a traditional proposal and more time to plan your dream wedding. You deserve all of that baby. Unfortunately, we had to move swiftly, due to unforeseen matters. That said, this was always going to be the end result, no matter what. I had to have this set with a tracer inside the stone, so I always know where you are. I love you Alexis. I have from the moment your bratty, sexy, made for me self walked across the street and blew everything I thought I knew about myself away. Will you do me the honor of marrying me today?” My hand is in his and as he slips the emerald shaped stone on my finger, I fall apart. I know I am supposed to be answering him but seriously, how? So, I nod, crying profusely like a baby.