“I’m ready. I haven’t been back inside yet. We went right from the car to the funeral.”
“Okay. We’ll do this together,” he says before leaning over to kiss me.
Walking up the sidewalk and onto the porch, I push the door open.
“Mommy,” Kari screeches, running up to me.
“Hey baby,” I say gathering her into my arms.
“Do we live here now?” she asks.
“No, baby. Granny lives here. We are going to live a couple of streets over, with Troy.”
“You mean, my daddy don’t you, Mommy?” I look over at Troy. He looks down at his daughter, pride in his eyes.
“Yeah, pretty girl. We are going to live with your daddy. How do feel about that?”
“Don’t be silly, Mommy. It’s what supposed to happen,” she says nonchalantly.
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“Duh. Mommy is so silly Daddy. Mommies and daddies and children are supposed to live together. God says so.”
“Does he now?”
“He does. I saw it in my children’s Bible. I’m hungry. Granny says there is something called pizza I just have to try.” She’s always hungry. At the compound, I could never keep her tummy full. I burst out into tears. My sweet baby hasn’t even had pizza before now.
“Alright. How ‘bout I take my beautiful girls out for pizza and maybe some ice cream. How does that sound?”
“What’s ice cream, Daddy?”
“Oh, God,” I wail. I need to get this shit in check. I am going to lose my mind.
“Why don’t you go grab your shoes, Kari, and say goodnight to your granny. We’ll wait right here for you,” Troy says. Once Kari skips away into the next room, he grabs me roughly by the shoulders, turning me to face him. He shakes my shoulders a bit to get my attention. I bite back my sobs. “Listen to me, Lissi. This isn’t your fault. If anything, it’s mine. I should have put a condom on or waited to make love to you until you were properly mine, but I didn’t. I had to claim you as I meant to keep on claiming you. We’ll give Kari all the things she missed out on, but you can’t cry like a war widow every time she tries a new food. You got me?”
“I get you,” I say sniffling.
“Good girl,” he says kissing away my tears.
We drive in silence to the pizza restaurant and enjoy our dinner. Before we even get home, Kari is passed out in the backseat. Troy carries her sleeping form like he’s been doing it since day one. I pull her pj’s out of her bag and strip off her funeral dress and have her in the pj’s in no time flat. I take the dress and shoes and shove them into the garbage can. For some reason I can't shake the feeling that these dresses are full of bad vibes. We tuck her in bed together. Leaving the door open a little, Troy leads me to the master bedroom. All I want to do is take a hot shower and get rid of this oppressing dress. In the bathroom, I step into the hot water, letting it cascade down my body. Fuck my body hurts. I forgot how big Troy's dick was or how much of a beating my pussy took the other few times we had sex. After pulling on his dress shirt that was on the back of the door, I climb into bed beside him where he makes love to me all night long.
This day was so long and emotional, I finally fall asleep in his arms. Safe and protected for the first time in years.5TroyYesterday fucked with my head more than I care to admit. To think that all this time she has been living in prison. Like a woman with no people who love her. No access to a phone or medical care. The world for that matter. But more than that, she was going through all of this with my kid beside her. My fucking daughter was out there in the world without her father to protect her, love her, spoil her. No little girl should ever be without her father. I can’t stop the rage building inside me, and the fucked-up part is, the one person I can take it out on is dead. Fucking coward.
Rolling over and looking at Lisette's beautiful face, my rage is quickly replaced with the love and adoration I thought had vanished when she did. Turns out, it was just being held tight waiting for its owner to return home. She looks so peaceful and young right now. I sometimes forget that I am a few years older than her. Willing my cock to go down, I lean over and kiss her forehead before getting out of bed. I have to force myself to move before I roll her over and fuck her like I need to right now, proving to myself she is here.