But really, everything’s changed. We aren’t the same people we were before. And now that there’s hope that we could get off this island, we have to face this.
I sleep better the third night than I think I ever have. In my dreams, I’m home, but I’m with Daniel and Cy. We’re in a house that’s like the one I built, but different. Bigger. I sit on the porch swing with Cy, and Daniel sits on the front step, but he isn’t the Daniel I left. He’s the one before the accident, lucid and mature.
I wake, and I try to hold onto that dream, but it fades too quickly. I take in a deep breath, close my eyes, and try to imagine us back on that porch, Cy next to me and Daniel so close I could touch him.
Cy rolls over in his sleep and drapes his heavy arm over me. I’ve grown used to this, the tangle of limbs and bare skin. At times, we’re so close I wonder if he feels what I do. This intensity. As if we’re one body and two minds, somehow welded together after what we’ve gone through.
“You sleep well, babe?” His deep, husky voice in the darkness, still scratchy with sleep, makes my heartbeat quicken. I draw closer to him and breathe him in. He smells like firewood and woodsmoke, and it’s hot as hell.
“I did,” I say on a whisper. “And I love you.”
I don’t want to be that person who grows accustomed to things she’s grateful for. I’ve lost so much of what matters to me, I’ve had so much taken against my will, that I want to hold onto what little I have. Cy. Our love. Logic, reason, and my tenacity. I won’t give any of those up, none of them.
“I love you, too,” he says, pulling me up on his chest and running his fingers through my hair. Up and down, then all over again. I love when he does that. It turns me on and makes me feel precious to him all at once. “This hair is gorgeous. You remind me of the little mermaid, you know.”
“I love Ariel.”
“That her name?”
I smile to myself. Frankly, I’m surprised he even knows she’s the little mermaid.
“Yep.”
“I just remember the shell bra and beautiful eyes and the hair.”
I giggle. “You would. That’s kinda creepy, you finding a Disney princess hot.”
He raises a brow at me. “You ever seen one of them in person?”
I snort. “Um no, because they’re not real. You have?”
He grins. “Buddy of mine had a birthday party for his little girl, and they had like six of those live action Disney princesses come. I’m telling you—”
“Oh, God, stop. You’re a creeper. You want me to make a shell bra?”
He chuckles. “No. I much prefer the no-bra look.”
The two dresses I brought with me are now nearly tatters. I sigh. “Eventually, I’m going to have no nothing if we stay here. I’m not sure my clothes are going to last much longer.”
“That’s totally fine with me,” he says suggestively. I smile, but the thought sobers me. For so long we’ve focused on finding the cameras.
What if we don’t get off this place? What if we’re stranded here forever? What if no one comes?
What if they do?
He rolls me over onto my back and takes my wrists in his strong grip, pinning them by my sides, easing his body on top of mine.
“I know what you’re thinking. Don’t go there,” he warns.
“How can you read my mind? That’s impossible.”
“Not impossible when you’ve spent every waking minute with a person,” he objects. “And not when the woman you’re with is as transparent as you.”
“Oh yeah?” I say boldly, pretending I’m not shivering to my core as he kisses my neck and lazily laps the sensitive skin there. “What was I thinking then?”
“That we might not leave. That you might have to run around here naked or find a way to sew leaves together or something like that.”
I sigh, but then I moan, as he works his mouth down my neck to the top of my breast.
“But let me erase those fears,” he whispers, before he takes my nipple between his lips and suckles. I close my eyes and let myself give way to this. I want to savor every minute of our lovemaking. Of our time here alone together.
He sucks my nipple while holding my wrists in one hand. His other hand travels between my legs, stroking and fondling me until I’m ready to fly right out of my skin.
“Cy,” I whisper. “Please.” I don’t want to come like this. I want him in me. I want to feel the connection. I don’t want even a sliver of space between us.
“Please what, baby?” he whispers.
“Fuck me,” I beg. “I want you in me.”