I open my mouth to speak, but she holds up her hand to stop me. “No, I understand. I mean you don’t have to remind me that I’m the sister of Sheena, and that Nolan’s heir to the McCarthy throne. I know all that, but it isn’t what I’m talking about.”
I sit beside her on the loveseat and draw her onto my lap. “C’mere,” I tell her. “You tell me everything you want to, but I want you sitting on my lap when you do.”
She eyes me warily. “Could end up in trouble that way.”
“Don’t talk back to me, and you’ll be fine.”
She bites her lip and I swear I’m hard already. “That’s not the kind of trouble I mean.”
I know exactly what she means, but I don’t care. Keenan told me I’d have to mark her tonight, show that she’s mine. I won’t leave here unless she knows she belongs to me.
Christ, it’s so soon, though. We’ve gone from barely touching to… what?
“I know what you mean, lass,” I tell her, my voice affected, husky with arousal. I reach for her and tug her onto my lap. “But you can trust me.”
Can she? I’ve already pushed much further than I ever should have. But Christ…
Mark her as yours.
“Lachlan?”
“Aye?”
“You’re a million miles away.”
“Was just thinking about something, it’s alright. Now tell me what you meant earlier. Why do you find it hard to understand why your safety’s important to us?”
She sighs. She leans against me and places her head on my shoulder. I take her hand in mine, my thumb massaging reassuring circles to her delicate skin.
“Because I’ve never been important to anyone before. I mean… well, that isn’t true, and it isn’t what I mean, really.”
I know what she means, though.
“I think I get it, Fiona.”
“Do you?”
“Aye. It’s not that you’ve never meant anything to anyone before. You know you have. Everyone from Maeve to Sam to Megan loves you in the Clan. But that isn’t it, is it?”
She shakes her head.
“It’s that the people who should’ve made you important to them didn’t.”
Her father was killed and her mother didn’t love her. It leaves a certain lack in someone’s life. “I went through the same kinda thing almost, to an extent.”
She kneads my shoulder. “Tell me?”
I nod. “Aye. Well, until the McCarthy family I was an orphan. Brawled on the streets of Dublin for my money. Back then, they paid good money to see young boys bareknuckle fighting.”
“I could see that, yes.”
“Malachy saved me from a hard life. Brought me to St. Albert’s. Convinced Seamus, the late Clan Chief, to bring me on as one of their own.”
“How old were you?”
“Just an infant when I was orphaned. They took me into St. Albert’s as soon as I was of age.”
“Wow. You were only a child, weren’t you?”
“Aye. And I needed a lot. Discipline. Leadership. Guidance and education.”
“Love,” she supplies.
A lump forms in my throat but I swallow it down. “Aye. As any lad does, doesn’t he? Love. But I’ve felt for years… hell, still feel like it’s not something freely given. I suppose it might be different if children are raised a certain way? Like if they know from birth they’re loved?”
She nods.
“But when you’re adopted into a family, so to speak, I think you sort of feel like it could be taken away, don’t you?”
She nods. “Yes. Yes, that’s exactly it. I didn’t even really know how to say it until you said it yourself. How do you know that?”
“You think I’m only good to throw back a Guinness or look menacingly at people who’ll threaten to hurt you?”
I gather her to my chest and kiss the top of her head. I can’t ever leave this woman. I can’t ever let her think that she’s somehow lost my love. If we’re in… we’re all in.
“Look at your locket, lass.”
She lifts her locket and holds it in the palm of her hand.
“Open it.”
She obeys, her willingness to do what I tell her making me ache for so much more.
“Who’s that sweet girl in the picture?”
She smiles, a corner of her lip tipping up. Her freckled cheeks are so adorable I can’t help but bend and kiss them.
“The old me,” she whispers.
“What would you tell the old you if you could go back and talk to her?”
“I’d tell her to hold on,” she whispers. “That better days were coming. That soon, she’d be more loved than she’d ever think possible.”
She lifts her face to mine, her eyes hold mine for a split second, then I bend my mouth to hers. I’m only an inch or so away, her sweet breath kissing my cheek. I grin at her. I want to own this mouth. I want to own every inch of her. She leans in to kiss me and I teasingly pull away again.