“Let’s get you home, lass.”I don’t know how I make it back home.
I never should’ve come here to begin with, but my good mate Aisling corralled me into coming.
“You’re eighteen,” she said. “Have a little fun already. I’ve got a place I’d like to take you to.”
But then we met up with her friends, and we had a few drinks, and the next thing I knew they were dragging me into a club I’d never been to. I didn’t even know the name, or where it was. Maybe I was reeling a little, if I’m honest. Maybe I wanted to spread my wings and live a little. Maybe I was tired of trying to play by the strict rules set in place for the McCarthy family.
I had my guard with me, though they’re very good about staying in the background and being unobtrusive, so I figured I was safe.
I didn’t know this was a club that any members of the Clan would attend. I mean… I suppose I’ve been kept in the dark about those things. Why would I know, unless one of the other Clan women told me? So it shocked me to see Boner with a girl on each arm, and I blinked in surprise when I recognized Tully behind him.
But then… then I saw Lachlan. With… a woman. And my world came to a stuttering, excruciating halt. I tried to control myself, but I failed. My heart seized in my chest, my lungs constricted, and I stumbled to the back exit. I couldn’t breathe as I rushed toward fresh air.
I made some mumbled excuse about not feeling well to my friends, and for once actually beckoned the guard for help.
“I’m not well,” I breathed. I’ve not called on their help before like that, and I was thankful for their immediate attention and swift response. I found myself back home in short time, though I don’t even remember how I got there.
I make my way into the quiet, dark entrance of the home I share with Nolan and Sheena, and for the first time ever, a sudden pang hits my chest. My heart squeezes.
I’ve outgrown this place.
I don’t belong here anymore.
I used to, no doubt. I’ve always felt like I belonged. Nolan and Sheena have been so very good to me. But it was different when I was younger. When I was one of the children.
Maybe a birthday does make a difference.
Nolan and Sheena are in the living room when I enter, watching a movie. She’s curled up on his lap, and he’s got his arm around her.
“Y’alright, lass?” Nolan asks, his eyes coming to mine.
“Aye,” I tell him, making my way to my room.
“Got a text from the guard, said you were ill?”
Fucking hell, I forgot they’d report back to him.
“Got a little queasy is all.”
Sheena looks at me sharply. “Have you been drinking?”
“Not much.” And it’s true, I haven’t. “And anyway, I’ll have you remember it isn’t against the law.” I give her what I hope is a pointed glare, and she opens her mouth, then closes it. She doesn’t respond.
I’m halfway down the little hallway that leads to my bedroom when I make a decision. I’m not that good about thinking things over and weighing my options. I’m known for rash decisions, but there’s a benefit to that as well. I’m also known for being willing to take risks.
I turn on my heel and face them. “I’ve decided I know what I want to do,” I tell them. “You know, what we discussed earlier today.”
Aisling is going to school in Boston. She’s invited me to go, too, and in the slew of college applications I sent, Boston University was top of the list with a generous scholarship offered as well. A part of me wanted to go because Tiernan’s stationed in Boston, and Tiernan’s told me I’ll love the city with its multicultural flare and old-school feel. I didn’t want to go that far away, I told myself. I couldn’t. My home is here with the McCarthys, in beautiful Ballyhock.
But tonight… I want to get away. I don’t belong here anymore, as a child under the protection of Nolan and Sheena. They’ve got my younger brother and children of their own. A little voice in my head tells me that it’s only Lachlan I want to get away from, and I am furious at him, but I ignore the inner censor.
Now I have Nolan and Sheena’s attention.
“Oh?” Sheena says. She brushes her bright red hair that looks just like mine out of her pretty eyes and looks to me. She tries to mask her surprise but doesn’t do it well.
Nolan just looks at me curiously. “Have you?”
“Aye,” I say with a sigh. I love it here in Ballyhock. I love my found family here with the McCarthy family. But tonight, I saw the man that I love with his arms around another woman.