I laugh and move over to the kitchen table, sitting carefully so as not to jostle Avery. Anna picks up my beer, moving it from the counter to the table, but I ignore it, content to gaze at the cute baby. I wonder if that’s on my agenda one day. As soon as that thought enters my brain, I immediately think of Jaime. If we had babies, I wonder if they’d inherit her hair and eyes. They’d be so beautiful.
When the oven timer dings, I shake my head to dispel such thoughts. I can’t be thinking of babies with Jaime when chances are this relationship will not go anywhere. I’ll either run because I’ll feel trapped, or it will all be fucked up when she finds out I’ve been lying.
“I saw Malik today,” Anna says.
I glance up to see she has pulled something cheesy from the oven that smells distinctly Mexican. “Yeah… heard he came back today, but I didn’t see him.”
“He’s staying in one of the apartments.”
“He probably debriefed today.” I turn my attention back to Avery, who’s blowing spit bubbles. “I doubt Kynan will put him right back in the field, though. Not after all that guy went through.”
I take a finger, pop a bubble, and marvel at the miracle of this tiny creature.
“Did you kill the men who took Malik?” Anna asks.
My head snaps up, cute little baby completely forgotten for the moment.
I know Anna has been emotionally invested in Malik’s return, so this question isn’t overly surprising. I also know she’s tough and can take the details. “I have no clue about the actual men who took Malik, but yes, we killed the ones who were guarding him. There were others we didn’t get as they rotated out every few days.”
“Good,” she murmurs, expression satisfied. “You think Malik will be all right?”
I shrug because I don’t know for sure. That’s such an individual thing. “I think he’s the type who can deal. I mean, he has a Special Forces background. He’s trained for that type of scenario. Bottom line… we all have to pull deep to overcome stuff like that.”
Anna tilts her head, eyes narrowing slightly. “Have you had to overcome something like that?”
“Yeah. I was on a Jameson mission almost two years ago with Bodie. I got shot—”
“What?” she practically shrieks.
I give her a censuring look, nodding down at Avery to indicate she should keep it down. As her mom, Anna doesn’t need this reminder, and she merely rolls her eyes.
“We both got captured. Luckily, our captors treated our wounds pretty effectively. The government had a joint CIA and SEAL team in place and on the ground quickly. We were rescued in less than twenty-four hours, so nothing like what Malik went through.”
“Don’t diminish—”
“I’m not.” I stand from the chair and place Avery, who is looking distinctly drowsy, back in the bassinet. I move over to Anna, putting my hands on her shoulders. “But this is what we train for. We all know it might happen. And every one of us who Kynan hires to be part of his team, well, we all have something inside that helps us to overcome. Maybe it’s an acceptance that fate will be a bitch if she wants and we can’t control it, or maybe it’s just that we have a little something extra that normal people don’t. I can’t describe it, but, bottom line, I think Malik’s the type who will move past this just fine.”
Anna absorbs this, giving a tremulous smile as she nods. She then turns toward the stove. “How about we eat and talk about something more pleasant?”
I grab my beer. “I’ll drink to that.”
I help Anna by following her directions to the paper plates and plastic utensils. Even though I’m going to fix her dishwasher, we’re going to reduce clean-up time.
She made enchiladas, and she scoops a cheesy mess onto my plate. I demand another scoop before I move to the table and dig in.
When Anna finally sits down with her plate, I say, “So I have some news.”
Immediately, I regret the words. I hadn’t meant to say them. For some reason, though, they popped out. I bet if I asked our resident psychiatrist, Dr. Ellery, what that means, she’d say I must really need to talk about it.
“Oh yeah?” Anna inquires.
I open my mouth, but no words come out. Saying anything about Jaime makes it even more real. Puts even more responsibility on me to do the right thing.
“What is it?” Anna urges.
“I’m seeing someone,” I blurt before I can chicken out.
“Seeing someone?” She looks at me as if I’ve grown an extra head. Anna knows me well enough to realize I am a decidedly single guy who likes bed-hopping.
My smile feels sheepish. “I mean… it’s sort of new, but we’ve gone out a few times—”