I nod, realizing just how well he's come to know me. “I'm not going to drag you into this world, Colton. They'd drain you of everything you have. It's too dangerous for you.”
“I can handle myself.”
“Please, I just need you to trust me one more time.”
He rubs his thumb over the faded bruising on my cheekbone. “I trusted you against my better judgment, and look how that turned out.”
“They won't hurt me now. I'm one of them now. All they can do is tell me to fuck off. Anything other than that is going against Russo, and he won't stand for that. Besides, Christian and Jaren will be there. I'll be safe.”
“Do I need to remind you that Christian was the guy who delivered the final punch?”
“Really, you don't need to remind me about that. I'm more than aware of what happened. I remember every little second of it.”
Colton shakes his head. “I don't like it, but if you really insist on doing this, then I'm coming with you.”
I raise my chin, letting him see the defiance in my eyes. “No, you're not. I understand that you're protective of me, and I know how much it killed you seeing me get hurt, but I can't have you there. Russo was lenient letting you stay in the hospital room while he talked, he won't offer that same leniency again. He'll take it as you shitting all over his generosity.”
Colton scoffs at my use of the word generosity. He steps back from me and runs his hands through his hair. “I don't like this.”
“I know, I don't either, but whether we like it or not, this is a part of my life now, and in the long run, saving face with Russo is going to be better than him thinking that I'm still loyal to the Widows.”
“FUCK, OCEAN,” he grunts, beginning to pace the room before turning back to me. “I really fucking hate it when you're right.”
I walk into him and take his hands, lacing his fingers through mine. “So, you're not going to fight me on this?”
He groans, and it's obvious just how much this situation is hurting him, but it's better than me just slipping out the door and not telling him about any of it. “I want a call from you the second you get there, and then a text every five minutes after that until you're back in the car and coming home to me. Got it? If you even miss one of those texts, I'll be coming after you.”
I press up onto my tippy toes and brush my lips over his. “Thank you. I promise I'll be as quick as I can be.”
“Good. Try not to let any of those fuckers jump you again.”
“I promise.”
He groans again, his frustration coming out loud and proud before blowing out a deep breath. “Get out of here before I change my mind.”
“Okay, love you,” I tell him before slowly stepping back and allowing our hands to drop into the empty space between us.
He gives me a pained smile, and before I convince myself to stay, I hurry out of his gym and make my way to the garage.
Just as I've become accustomed to, I drop into the Audi and hit the button for the remote garage. It opens wide, letting the morning sunlight spill into the oversized showroom. I hit the gas, and two hours later, I'm bringing the Audi to a stop and trying to remind myself of why I thought that I needed to be here.
I give Colton the call he'd asked for, and after demanding that I keep my attitude to myself while I'm in there, I end the call and take a shaky breath. I shouldn't be so scared of this. I should be able to walk in there with my head held high. After all, I'm one of them now. There shouldn't be a reason for any of them to want to hurt me now. What a fucking joke.
I climb out of the Audi and slip my phone into my back pocket, right beside the gun that sits in the waistband of my sweats before locking the car and walking toward the Wolf Den.
I can only imagine what Nic and the boys would think of me voluntarily walking into a place like this.
Fuck, I miss them. I miss the relationship we used to have. It was so simple, so easy and full of love, and now it's just strained, broken, and pathetic. I have faith that Sebastian, Kai, and Eli will come around though. They have to.
Shaking the thought from my head, I push through the same door that I'd come through two weeks ago, only this time, I'm not met with a welcome party. The Wolf Den is just as I remember it—dark, haunting, and terrifying.