Milo rolls his eyes. “I don’t know,” he says, seriously confused about what’s going on with himself. “No, I … I don’t know. Maybe I am just gay but like to fuck around with her for fun.”
“Maybe,” I say. “Do you get hard at the thought of fucking me?” His eyes bug out of his head and he gapes at me in horror. “No,” I snap, cutting off his bullshit response before it can come streaming from between his lips. “Just think about it before jumping to your go-to horrified rejections. Really think about it.”
Milo’s lips bunch up and he glances out through the windshield, watching the traffic as he drives. “I, um …” he starts, really thinking about his response. He shakes his head. “No, don’t take this the wrong way, you’re fucking bomb. I’ve never met a sexier chick with the hottest fucking body. I’m sure guys all over the world are dreaming about giving you a cream pie, but no … just no. I couldn’t. I can't. Vaginas are just so … ugh. They’re fucking weird. I mean, they’re not remotely sexy.”
I roll my eyes, skipping over that last comment because fuck him, my vagina is so fucking sexy that I’d turn lez for it if I could. After all, I’ve fucked it more than anyone else has, but I’m not about to tell him that. Though after Colton walked in on me in my bedroom that one time, I’m pretty sure that’s not such a big secret. I look back up at Milo and raise a brow. “So, they’re not sexy but you’ll fuck Jess?”
Milo groans low, his emotions all over the place. “What the fuck is wrong with me? Am I fucking sick?”
“No,” I laugh. “There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re just confused. Why do you even need to define it? Who cares what you are. You like dicks but every now and then, the right pussy comes along and you don’t mind fucking that too. Who cares? Just go with it.”
“Just go with it?” he questions, dumbfounded.
I roll my hand out like a wave. “Just go with.”
“That easy, huh?”
“So fucking easy.”
“Fine,” he finally agrees, relaxing heavily against his seat as he steers his Aston Martin toward my fancy new private school for girls. “I’ll just go with it. From now on, I dip my fingers into both pies.”
“That’s the spirit.”
“But I’m not going crazy,” he warns. “I’m not about to do a Charlie and start fucking everything with a pulse. I’ll stick to the blueberry pie but occasionally take a bite of a cherry pie. You know, if it’s on offer.”
I shake my head, wondering if he used blueberry and cherry as metaphors but realize that this is Milo I’m talking to and of course, it was intentional. “You know, sometimes I wonder what it’d be like living inside your mind. It’d be an interesting place.”
“Oh, you don't know the half of it, babe. I’ve learned to filter everything that comes out of my mouth so I stop scaring people away. It can get a lot worse.”
“You’re telling me that pie shit was filtered?”
His lips pull up into a sly grin and as he looks over at me with a sparkle in his eye. I realize that I probably don’t want to know the unfiltered version. I can only imagine how bad it gets.
Milo pulls up to the front gates of Bellevue Springs Private school and within seconds, I spy the devil twins being welcomed in by their long lost bitch friends. Girls crowd around the famous Carrington twins and a scowl instantly settles onto my face.
Milo turns in his seat, raising a brow as he shoots daggers at me. “You mean to tell me that the fucking wicked witches of the west are back and you just forgot to mention it?”
“I …” I cringe. “I mean, I had a lot going on with the whole running over that stray dog thing last night …”
“Not even a quick text to say ‘Hey Milo, guess what? Bitch one and bitch two are home to destroy my life.’ Jesus, Ocean. Where’s your head at?”
“Sorry,” I say, scrunching my face. “They showed up yesterday afternoon and declared that they’re going to ruin me and after Momma Carrington basically said that she was going to take Colton away from me, I kinda forgot they existed.”
“Dammmn,” he grumbles, leaning back in his seat and watching out the window at the over-the-top display playing out before us. “I have a feeling shit is about to get interesting.”
“I can guarantee it. I don’t doubt that they’ve already started spreading whatever awful rumors they’ve cooked up.”
“I can only imagine. They would have sat up all night with notepads and pens working out some ridiculous little plan to humiliate you, and I can assure you, it’s going to be epic. These girls don’t come to play, they come to win.”