It felt as if I had been in the bathroom for hours, and I soon began to get cold and shake. Desperate to get warm, I grabbed Kinsley’s towels off the rack and covered myself with them. I felt bad ruining them, but I would buy her a new set.
For a frightening moment, between the pain and the dizziness, I thought maybe this was it. I was going to die here in this bathroom. I knew I needed to get up and call the doctor, even if I did leave a trail of blood behind me. But my legs felt like Jell-O, and I barely had enough energy to breathe through the horrific cramps. All I could do was lean over and rest my head on the counter. Tears poured down my cheeks. I didn’t even bother to pray. The pavilion I’d created separating me from God was impenetrable. A loneliness like I had never known encompassed me, doing its best to swallow me whole.
I must have gone in and out of consciousness, because I startled when I heard my name tear through the loft. If there was sound that personified terrified, Brock screaming my name would qualify. I didn’t have enough energy to respond.
“Where did all the blood come from?” Kinsley cried.
“Dani,” Ariana shouted my name in a panic.
I could hear Brock’s heavy footsteps sprinting in my direction. I didn’t care that I was in the most humiliating position possible or half-naked covered in a towel—I needed help. And I would take it from anyone, even from the man who didn’t want me.
The bathroom door blew open like it had been kicked in. Brock stood in its place, the blood draining from his face when he saw me and the crimson stains everywhere. He grabbed the countertop, his chest heaving, though there was a determination in his eyes to hold it together.
I managed to lift my head. “Brock . . . I need your help.” I hated that I did, but I was desperate.
Ariana and Kinsley rushed into the already-crowded bathroom.
“Oh my goodness.” Kinsley grabbed her chest. “Dani, what happened?”
Ariana maneuvered around Brock and dropped down next to me.
“I lost the baby,” I cried, my voice anguished.
Ariana smoothed my brow, tears streaming down her smooth cheeks. “Oh, Dani. You’re burning up.”
That snapped Brock out of his stupor. “We need to get her to the hospital. Kinsley, grab me a blanket. Ariana, call Dr. Paulson. She’s with the Pine Falls OB/GYN group. Tell her that Dani is miscarrying and likely hemorrhaging. Tell her to meet us at the Women and Children’s ER.”
Ariana and Kinsley hopped to it, leaving me alone with Brock. He dropped to his knees in front of me. Fear was swimming in his eyes. I could at least end one of his nightmares.
“It’s over. You’re free.”Chapter Nineteen“Dani. Dani. Mrs. Holland.”
My eyes fluttered open. I made out a young woman with bright-red curly hair and a cute button nose. She was sitting next to me near the machines, monitoring my vitals. The steady beat of my heart told me I had survived the procedure. My foggy brain vaguely remembered being told I needed the D&C I should have opted for. Basically, my uterus needed to be cleaned out to stop the hemorrhaging.
“Did everything go okay?” I asked, barely above a whisper.
“Everything went as expected. Dr. Paulson will be here to talk to you soon. Are you in any pain?”
I had to think about it. I had been in so much pain earlier that the minor discomfort I felt now was nothing in comparison. “I’m a little crampy, but fine.”
“That’s to be expected. If you want, I can give you a pain reliever in your IV.”
Do you have one for my heart? “That would be great.” The less pain the better.
She smiled and shot something into my IV. Within seconds I felt warm and even sleepier.
In my fuzzy state, my mind kept flashing back to when we had arrived at the ER. Brock had taken command and barked orders. I had been taken back right away. He’d remained by my side and even fought with one of his colleagues. He’d insisted he be allowed back into the OR. It was an argument he hadn’t won. I was grateful for that. I had needed to be away from him. On the drive to the hospital he had kept saying how much he loved me. I’d begged him to stop. I didn’t need the lies on top of the loss.
I heard my heart monitor tick up.
“Are you all right, Mrs. Holland?”
“Please, call me Dani,” I choked out. I was Dani Kramer. She was all I had left.
“Okay, Dani. Can I get you anything? You can have juice or water.”
My mouth did feel awfully dry, and it had a weird taste. “Water would be great.”