As they held on to each other, tears blinded her eyes. So very good. So very...perfect.
As dawn arrived, Alex stared at Cassandra while she slept.
He'd watched her since the moment he'd rolled off her after they'd made love. Which had been hours ago.
The idea of closing his eyes and missing even a moment of having her beside him in his bed was unthinkable.
She was curled up against his body, seeking his warmth to fend off the chill of the shop. The potbellied stove had burned through its supply of wood, but there was no way he was getting up and re-stoking it. He was hoping if he didn't disturb her, she would sleep until noontime. Tomorrow.
He wondered what her mood was going to be when she woke up. Would she regret what they'd done in the night? Even if she didn't, she was probably going to be sore. He'd never been like that with anyone, never unleashed his body with such total abandon.
Then again, he'd never wanted someone so desperately.
Cassandra stirred and nestled deeper into his shoulder. Her brows met as if she were confused. Her eyes opened.
Alex braced himself for her reaction.
She looked up at him. And smiled.
I love you, he thought, his body heating up.“Hi,” he said. Like an idiot.
“Hi” Her voice was husky. She glanced at the potbel?lied stove. “It's a little cold.”
Leaving her was the last thing he wanted to do, but he rolled off the bed and went n**ed to the woodpile. When he had the fire going, he pulled on a pair of jeans, tucking himself in so his need wasn't so obvious.
He hated that morning had come and their time together was over.
“Are you all right?” he asked, turning toward her. “Yes.”
“I don't regret last night,” he blurted.
Her gaze dropped to the floor and she pulled the blankets up.
“Are you sure about that?” she said tightly.
He frowned and then heard his own words. I don't regret last night.
Oh, yeah, that was exactly what a woman wanted to hear from a man she'd been with.
He went to the bed and lowered himself to his knees on the floor beside her. He opened his mouth. Words failed him, which was not a surprise. The ones he really wanted to say he needed to keep to himself.
Cassandra held the blankets to her chest as she sat up and swung her feet off the bed. “I should go”
“Wait...” He reached out and touched her face with both hands. “Oh...beautiful woman.”
He pressed himself between her legs, sweeping his fingers through her hair.
“Just once more,” he said, kissing her neck. He searched his mind, begging it to come up with the right way to speak to her. He'd been rat awful about so many things and not just this morning. “I...want to make love with you. Just one more time. Before you go.”
He pressed his lips to her collarbone. Her shoulder. “Will you let me?” he whispered as he moved his head back and forth, his lips brushing over her skin.
She said nothing. But she let the blankets drop from her body.
Chapter Thirteen
Days later Cassandra stood in the White Caps kitchen and stared at the clipboard she was holding. What was she... Right, she was making a note about the main drainage line.
Except, as her pen hit the page, her mind came up with a big fat zero.
What was...?
Ted cleared his throat.
“Um, boss? You were saying?” When she looked at him blankly, he murmured, “About the upstairs hallway?” "Oh, yes. Sorry. It would be great if you guys could lay down the plywood in preparation for the flooring installation." The man's gaze shifted over her shoulder and widened.
She turned around.
Spike was coming through the kitchen doorway, and im?mediately she searched for Alex behind him.
The plastic flap just settled back into place, however.
It had been three days since she'd left the shop in the early morning, three days since she'd last seen Alex. He hadn't gone to any of the other parties at Joy and Gray's over the weekend, not the festivities on Saturday night or the brunch on Sunday.
She knew he was avoiding her.
He had said only one night. Evidently, he'd meant it. As Spike came up to her, she returned his hip check and forced herself to smile. “Hey, there, big guy.”
He grinned. “You gonna show me around your play?ground?”
“Sure. Ted, are we finished?”
Ted was too busy staring at Spike's pierced ears and hair and tattoos to answer.
Spike looked back at the man. Then brought his hands up quick and made star bursts out of them. “Boo!”
Ted actually did a jump and shuffle before backing to the door. “Um...I'll see you tomorrow, boss.”
Cass waited until the plastic flap fell into place. “Did you have to do that?”
“Come on, the guy needed the exercise.”
She rolled her eyes. “Not really.”
As they walked through the house, she pointed out all the progress.
When they were upstairs, she paused in one of the bath?rooms. “Plumber starts tomorrow. Electrician, too.” “You're doing great work.”
“It's all of us. I've got a good crew”
“Yeah, even though they scare easy.”
The two of them returned to the kitchen and she packed up her things, putting her cell phone and her clipboard inher knapsack along with the sandwich she should have eaten for lunch.
“So, Cass, I've got a favor to ask.”
“Name it.”
He held the plastic sheet back so she could step through it. Outside, the cold was sharp enough to filet her parka. Boy, the Adirondacks did frigid well. The place was one giant icebox this time of year.
“I was wondering if you'd take Alex into town tonight. I've got something I need to take care of so I can't do the chauffeuring thing.”
She hesitated. “Does he know that you're asking me this?” “Oh, sure. Absolutely.”
“Where's he going?”
“Here and there. He's ready now.” Spike went over to the Honda. “Thanks, Cass.”
As the man tore out of the driveway, she looked to the shop.
There was no reason to be immature about this, she told herself. They'd been together a couple of times. That was it. Sure, their history was complicated, but if he could be cool about what had happened, so could she.
She walked up the snow-covered lawn and knocked on the door.
Alex called out, “Come in! I'm almost good to go.” See, his voice was casual. Calm. He was fine. She was fine. They were both fine.
Cass walked in. Alex was at the desk, his big body curled over a set of sailboat plans. Pencil shavings and eraser debris covered the blue paper he was working on.
“Hey, man, you eat yet?” Alex said without looking up. "We can suck hack a plate or two at the Silver Diner when we're through. Maybe rack some balls at Greene's. What do you say?"
“I think Spike is a liar.”
Alex's head shot up. “Cassandra.”
She lifted her hand and then thought, why was she waving at him? “I'm, er, I'm supposed to be your ride tonight. Wherever you're going. Spike asked me to fill in for him.”
Alex muttered something under his breath. “Look, let me call Libby. You don't have to do this.”
“It's all right.”
“You've worked hard all day—”
“If you don't want to go with me, just say so, okay?” Her words cracked through the room like a whip.
Alex stood up and reached for his cane. “I was trying to be polite.”
“Sorry,” she muttered. As her eyes flipped to the bed, she had to turn away from it.
Fine my fat fanny, she thought. Her head was a total mess.
The thing was, she'd assumed he'd seek her out even though he'd said their night together was a one-time-only kind of thing. It was just...he'd wanted to be with her so badly. And the way he'd made love to her in the morning light...
But she should have known better. Alex Moorehouse was all about discipline. What he said, he meant. Clearly his feelings for his Miracle were more important than his body's needs.
Alex limped over to her. “Actually, I'd much rather have you behind the wheel. Spike swears at the other cars, he never uses his directional signal and he can't parallel park worth a damn. I'm not even sure he has a license.”
Cass glanced up at his face and wished she felt as relaxed as he looked. “Where are we going?”
“To see my grandmother. She's in a nursing home now. Joy used to take care of her, but the dementia has gotten to the point that professional supervision is required. And it's important for Joy to have a life.” He went over to a leather jacket that was hanging on the wall. “I make sure I go see her a couple times a week. I'm the only one she recognizes, although that's because she thinks I'm her father. So I guess that doesn't count, does it?”
He pulled the coat on and held the door open.
“Would you mind if I used your ladies' room first?” Cass asked.
“Sure.” He closed out the cold. “Take your time.” When she came back, he was putting his cell phone up to his ear.
“Moorehouse” There was a pause and then, “Mad Dog! What the hell? How did you— He did? Figures. Nah, I'm glad it's you” There was a long silence. Then his face darkened. “I don't know. I'm working on it. Good. Better. You're what? Mad Dog— No... For God's sake, I don't— Damn it.” His lips thinned. “Yes, I'll be here. Now, tell me the truth. In an earlier life, you were Genghis Khan, right?” He laughed, and his voice dropped, warmth coming through it. “I'll see you soon, Mad. I've missed you”
When he ended the call, he glanced over. “You ready?” Cass nodded.
As they went out to the Rover, he said, “That was a member of my crew.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. Mad Dog is...extraordinary. One of a kind.” “You sound as if you really respect him.” She opened the driver's side door.
“Her. Madeline is a her.”
Cass looked over the SUV's hood. As Alex got into the car, he was wearing a little half smile the likes of which she had never seen before.
After Cassandra parked the car, Alex eased himself out of the Range Rover and made sure his balance was steady before he started walking. The snow was packed solid, which meant there was a gloss on the top that was slicker than baby oil.
“Need help?” Cassandra asked brusquely, as if she knew he'd only turn her down.
He looked over at her. In the waning sunlight, her hair gleamed like copper flashing and the cold wind had coaxed a blush out of her cheeks. She looked tired, though, the shadows under her eyes suggesting she hadn't slept well lately.
He knew all about insomnia, too.
The last three days had been hell. He'd wanted to see her again the instant she'd left the shop that morning. But a vow was a vow and he'd already technically broken the once-only rule by being with her after she'd woken up.
Unable to trust himself around her, he'd skipped the rest of the parties that weekend. Besides, God only knew what O'Banyon had had to say when she'd disappeared all night long. There was no reason to get brawling with the guy.
Besides, only once was all he would allow himself. He owed Reese's memory, for one thing. But more significant, he was very sure that if Cassandra knew he'd killed her husband she wouldn't want him anymore. Since he wasn't about to tell her the truth, because that would just add another layer to her tragedy, then he had no right to be with her again.“Alex?” She tilted her head, green eyes widening. Shoot, he'd been staring at her.
“Sorry.” He smiled. “After you.”
Evergreen Assisted Living was housed in a single-story brick building that, unfortunately, looked a lot like a prison from the outside. The facility was all dull gray concrete, uniform windows, and doors with alarms on them. As he and Cassandra walked inside, however, the place's true nature came alive. There were bright murals and real plants. A cage full of pink and blue and yellow parakeets. From the rec room, big band-era music drifted out.