It looked like a dungeon and I was terrified that I was going to find a dead body. At the same time, I felt empowered being in this room. I loved that feeling; it was the first time in my life that I felt powerful. I don’t know why I felt that way, just that it was there. I had to find out what was in the dresser; it was calling my name. I opened the first drawer and there were these toys that looked like swords. I picked one up and turned it on and the strong vibration made me drop it on the floor.
I put it away as quickly as I grabbed it and opened the next drawer that held silver metal tools that looked painful and scary. I didn't like that drawer, so I moved on to the next one. It had items that looked like mushrooms inside. The last drawer had leashes, collars, and necklaces that had balls in the middle. I scratched my head because I didn’t understand the concept of this cabinet or room. I took one last look as I walked back into my mother’s bedroom, stopping, I made sure to close the door of the secret room.
I went to her desk next and all the drawers were locked.
“Hmmm if I were my mother where would I hide the key?” I asked myself.
I began frantically searching until I finally found it hidden in a compartment in the corner under the desk. I quickly opened the first drawer and there was a huge black binder that had the inscription “Cathouse” written on the top. I pulled it out and put it on the desk. The first page had a table of contents like the books I read. It listed women’s names, medical information, addresses, and a whole bunch of other information I didn’t understand. As I kept turning the pages, I would see pictures of beautiful women, both clothed and nude. These women were gorgeous, some of them I had seen before and others I hadn’t.
I became bored with the book rather quickly and put it away. What I found in the middle drawer really caught my attention. It was a big black book, and “VIP” was etched on the top. I had heard my mother say VIP all the time. I had no idea what she meant. The book looked like an organizer with thousands and thousands of men’s and women’s names in it. I hadn’t realized how heavy it was and had to use all my strength to put it away. I returned the key to its rightful spot and continued my journey of discovery.
I made my way to the closet, which could have been a large bedroom on its own. I had seen my mother’s clothes before, but never like this. It was breathtakingly beautiful how all the colors and styles were organized. Everything had its place.
At that exact moment, I wanted to be just like my mother.
I wanted everything that my mother had and was.
I wanted to be her.
All it took was one night alone in her bedroom for me to want what I didn’t know would inevitably become mine.
Chapter 3
Two more years went by with not so much as a hint of what my future would hold, but that all changed on a private jet ride to Switzerland.
“What the fuck do you think we are going to Switzerland for, Daniel?” I continued to listen to my mother yell into the phone.
“Yes, I’m fully fucking aware that I needed to be there yesterday. I had other business that needed my attention…you know VIP doesn’t run itself. I need to speak to the President, not the manager of the bank. I am not about to place $25 million dollars in the hands of some fucking manager. Make it happen or I will find someone who will,” she aggravatingly roared as she hung up.
“Why do I leave things in the hands of a man, Lilith?” she questioned, looking at me adoringly as I looked up from my book.
“Especially when a woman would do it right the first time,” I repeated what I heard her say time after time.
She smiled and nodded.
“Mother, how much longer?”
“Not long, darling. Once we get there, you will go with the nanny to the hotel and I have some business that I need to handle. I’ll come get you later and we will go to dinner, yes?” I nodded and smiled wide. I loved spending one on one time with my mother. It was the highlight of my life.
I excused myself to go use the restroom but was grabbed by the hand before I could take another step.
“Lilith…turn around.” I did and I will never forget the look on my mother’s face that afternoon. She looked like she had waited her entire life for that very moment.
“My Lilith. You’re a woman. Jesus Christ, you are finally a woman.” She looked as if she’d just witnessed a miracle; glee covered her perfectly polished face.
I turned around to see for my very own eyes what she was talking about.
“I’m bleeding! Oh my God, I got my period, Mother!” I screamed, joining in on the excitement.
“You sure did, darling. Let’s go get you cleaned up.” She beamed reassuringly.
Once we were seated, my mother said to the stewardess, “Open a bottle of Dom Pérignon; two glasses. Thank you.”
“Hand a glass to Lilith.” The stewardess looked at mother like she had lost her damn mind. It was blatantly obvious that I was a minor. But my mother didn’t care; she always did what she wanted.
“Raise your glass, darling. I toast to you and your newfound power. There is much for us to discuss. You have no idea the grandeur that will rightfully be yours one day, today marks the day that you are that much closer to becoming what you were made for.” I raised my eyebrows, not understanding a word my mother was saying.
She clinked my glass and downed her entire champagne with one sip.
“Take a drink. We’re celebrating the beauty that is you.” I sipped my glass, thinking that it would taste much worse than what actually touched my taste buds. It was good and I tried to keep drinking but my mother took away the glass.
“Ladies don’t gulp, Lilith,” she said condescendingly.
“You just did.” I giggled, feeling more empowered in my newfound womanhood.
She grinned. “Do as I say, not as I do. Are we clear?” she teased and I nodded.
The next two years changed drastically. No longer did my mother try to hide things from me, I wasn’t excused when she would take certain phone calls, my nanny didn’t have to follow me everywhere, and I met more gorgeous women than I thought possible. At one point, I questioned my sexual preference because I would find myself fantasizing about what it would be like to be them. To look like them, talk like them, act like them, just to be one of them. I needed it, I wanted it, I couldn’t think of anything else.
I still didn’t understand what any of it meant. I knew better than to ask questions. If my mother wanted me to know something, she would tell me; that’s how she operated. Several other things started changing after I became a woman; my body being one of them seemed to change overnight. I went to bed a little girl and woke up a teenager; I had developed 34C breasts and curves in places that weren’t there before. The years of playing tennis had allowed me to develop a toned physique and I grew to be 5’7, just like my mother. My body matured to a young woman. My mother loved long hair and never allowed the stylist to give me more than a trim, but for my fifteenth birthday, she permitted sun kissed highlights. It made my straight waist length hair platinum blonde.
I got attention everywhere I went and I fucking devoured it! I ate it up like it was my last meal; I flirted like I knew what I was doing, and paraded myself around any chance I could get. I didn’t go to school, so that only left boutiques, shopping plazas on South Beach, restaurants, and parties my mother would allow me to attend, both at our home and other invitations. Believe it or not, some of the parties that my mother and I attended had other kids my age. I met this girl named Alexandria at a banquet benefit for cancer. I was still fifteen and she was a few months older than me; we made friends fairly quickly due to our upbringings being similar.
She was the complete opposite of what I looked liked. I think her parents were Latin; she had a tan complexion with dark chocolate doll eyes and curly unruly hair, her facial features were much more pronounced than mine. Our heights were the same and every time she talked, I couldn’t help but stare at her pouty mouth. The slight accent she spoke with was just
as addicting. She was picturesque.
She was also my first kiss.
“I fucking hate these stupid benefits. Like my parents give a shit who’s dying from cancer today; it’s just an excuse to look charitable, and my lush of a mother to get drunk,” she proclaimed as I followed her through the back gardens of this house I’d never been to.
“You sure you know where you’re going? It seems like we’ve been walking forever.”
“Yeah, my dad does business with the owner. I can’t wait to show you the garden! It’s perfect and quiet and I got us a surprise.”
We walked for another five minutes before I saw exactly what she had been describing. It was astounding how all the flowers and trees blended together. It looked like we had walked into The Secret Garden. I walked around in a daze, looking at all the different types of plants that I had never seen before.
“Lilith!” Her excitement broke the trance I was in and I turned to look at her. “Look what I’ve got.” She pulled a pint of whiskey from her purse. “I stole it from
the bar when the bartender wasn’t looking,” she proudly stated.
“Let’s get toasted!” She took three huge gulps before handing it to me, “Ugh…it burns all the way down, but it will be worth it.”
I wasn’t much for peer pressure and my mother would have probably shit herself, not at the situation, but the fact that I was the follower not the leader in the scenario. I took some sips, keeping in the back of my mind that ladies don’t gulp, and before we knew it, we were both drunkity, drunk, drunk.
I couldn’t stop laughing, I had never been drunk before and everything around me was hilarious. Alexandria was a bit more in control of herself, although she was still all over the place. She had fallen over laughing with her hair scattered all over her face. I started moving pieces of it away until she suddenly grabbed my wrist and we gazed into each other’s eyes. My first thought was if my eyes resembled the glossy mirrors of hers. She licked her lips, and my very next thought was that I wanted to lick them too.
We both moved simultaneously, me advancing and her ascending, to each other’s mouths. I had never kissed anyone before, but I had read enough about it to know how it worked. The moment her lips touched mine I moaned. She tasted like whiskey and peppermint Tic Tacs, her lips were soft and smooth. We were completely and utterly in sync with one another. Our movements paralleled what the other was doing and the second I felt her tongue in my mouth my lower abdomen tingled. We effortlessly moved together and my mind didn’t have any thoughts, other than the sensations I felt in my pussy.
She was the first to break away from our kiss and I will never forget the teasingly erotic grin she displayed. I know we were only fifteen, but it doesn’t matter what anyone says, women are born with their sexuality. It’s this unknown gift we have, this ability to say so much without having to say one word.
The rest of the night proceeded without any problems, everything returned to the way it was, except sometimes I would catch Alexandria smirking and looking at me. It didn’t make me feel uncomfortable; it made me feel powerful, like this surge of adrenaline I didn’t know I had. I was like a bird in a nest ready to fly. When I went home that night, I thought about that kiss and how much I loved it. When I was younger, I use to wonder about my sexuality, I was always attracted to the female body, starting with my mother’s. I hadn’t been around many men growing up, and my sexuality was once again questioned.
At this point, I didn’t give a fuck!
To each their own, right?
I fantasized about Alexandria for months; I fondled, and pleasured myself to that kiss- it was the first time I ever came.
---
My sixteenth birthday came faster than I had anticipated; the year just flew by. My mother threw me the most lavish sweet sixteen party money could buy. It was actually quite interesting seeing as I didn’t have any friends, yet there were teenagers everywhere; I had no idea who anyone was or how my mother found them. All I know is I had an amazing time and I soaked up all the attention I could get. I love being the center of attention. The party dwindled down after midnight and that’s when my father showed up. I would see my father here and there as I got older, but I always saw him on birthdays and holidays.
“I can’t believe how fast time goes by, Lilith; you’re a woman now,” my father said as he pulled the hair away from my face and placed it behind my ear.
I smiled. “You missed my party,” I reminded him, even though I’m sure he knew it.
“He wasn’t invited,” we heard my mother say from behind us. My father didn’t pay her any attention.
“I got you something. Would you like to see it?” he asked and I eagerly nodded. I always loved my father’s presents.
He grabbed my hand as my mother followed to the front driveway. There, with a huge red bow, was a brand new red BMW.
“Oh my God!” I shouted in surprise.
“Happy birthday, baby,” he said softly as he leaned in to kiss my forehead. He handed me the keys and I ran to my new prized possession.
“A BMW? Really, Charles? What did that set you back, 40 grand? Is that all she’s worth to you?” my mother taunted him.
“It’s her first car, Vivian. It’s plenty for her,” he replied unapologetically.
“I’ll make sure to tell her that when I hand her the keys to her McLaren F1.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
I saw her smirk deviously as she turned to face him and she leaned forward to grab his tie. “Did I stutter? You heard me,” she murmured, just loud enough that I could still hear.
“Do you want to play, Charles? Because I want to play. I’ll let you put it anywhere,” she said and I saw my father grin.
“Lilith, darling, your father and I have some things to discuss. I will see you in the morning,” she said with a smile and started moving toward the house.
“Thank you, I love it!” I said to my father as he pulled me into a hug.
“I love you, you know that right? You’re one of my proudest accomplishments,” he whispered in my ear.
“I love you, too.” I repeated.
My mother grabbed his hand and I watched them leave as if they were a happily married couple.
Chapter 4
After I got my car, I had more freedom to do what I wanted. My mother wasn’t always on my ass about what I was allowed to do and I took full advantage of the freedom. Alexandria not only introduced me to drinking, but I also became formally introduced to Mary Jane, otherwise known as marijuana. She bought me my very own bag and pipe that I carelessly hid in my nightstand.
For the first time in my life, I walked into my bedroom one night to find my mother sitting at the end of my bed waiting for me.
My heart dropped.
“Mother,” I gasped in surprise.
“Lilith. Where have you been all night?” she interrogated in a calm, soothing voice.
“I just hung out with Alexandria.”
She slowly approached me from the bed. “The next time you come home high, darling, try putting some Visine in your eyes. Follow me, NOW!” I was terrified; my mother scared the shit out of me sometimes. I followed closely behind her to her office.
“Take a seat, Lilith, it’s time we had a little chat.” She sat in her leather chair and I sat in one of the seats in front of her desk. My mother was dressed in a crisp white suit; she untied her suit jacket to expose the cleavage of her corset top.
She sighed and folded her arms. “Do you have any idea how disappointed I am in you, Lilith? Is this how I raised you?”
“No, mother. I am sorry,” I stated, trying not to sound weak. The last thing I wanted was to further piss my mother off.
She pulled out the bag Alexandria had purchased for me and threw it on the desk.
“This is bullshit.” She unlocked her top drawer and pulled out another bag of marijuana. I had never seen anything like it. It was bright green with red hairs and white crystals all over it. I cou
ld smell its potency from where I was sitting.
“After everything I have ever given you. It has always been nothing but the fucking best money could buy.” She shook her head in disgust. “I don’t know what came over me, Lilith, but I decided that I wanted to scope out your room. To my surprise, I find that my daughter smokes weed; not only that but she has her own bag, and it’s fucking bottom grade hash.”
She grabbed both bags, one in each hand.
“This,” she stated, moving her right hand, “is garbage. It’s what homeless people smoke, lower income individuals, people who live off the fucking government. How do you live, Lilith? Huh?”
“Now, this,” she stated, moving her left hand, “is top quality, medical grade marijuana. This is what people who live like you do, darling, smoke.”
She threw my bag in the garbage, opened her bag and started to roll a joint. I had seen Alexandria do it many times before.
“If you’re going to do something, Lilith, then do it fucking right the first time. Don’t ever let me find anything but the goddamn best anywhere near your pretty little face again. Do I make myself clear?” she questioned.
I nodded. I couldn’t say a word. You would think that this should shock me. In reality it didn’t. My mother was not your average PTA parent, as you can see. If I was going to do anything, then it needed to be the best. Period. She finished rolling the joint, bit off the end, and lit it up. She took three hits and handed it to me.