And then there was Levi.
Sometimes it felt like he was the only one in the house who actually gave a shit about me. And I couldn’t lie to myself, it felt good getting that kind of attention, knowing I’d always been his favorite. I couldn’t get enough of it.
What happened between us hadn’t been right. But the fact that it wasn’t felt so deliciously, wickedly good, I just couldn’t help wanting more.
I’d never seen Levi in that light. Never saw him as a man I could fall for, always just as a father figure… But that night, walking into my room with such an authoritative air, I would have done anything for him. And I had.
I felt a lone tear slide down my cheek as I thought about my future in the family home.
Mom and Levi were bound to get a divorce sooner rather than later, and then what?
I wouldn’t have a single ally in the house, and I’d feel lonelier than ever.
I felt something touching me, and I looked down to find Ryan’s hand on top of mine. I looked up into his eyes, and he was watching me with this mesmerized, hopeful expression that made my heart sink all the way down into my stomach.
“Ryan, I…” I stammered, but he put a finger on his lips and leaned closer to me, trying to kiss me.
I turned my cheek towards him and his lips landed on it, feeling wet and so very wrong, nothing like Levi’s.
“Ryan,” I said softly, not daring to look up at him. “I’m sorry, I just… I don’t feel that way about you.”
He didn’t say a word back.
I felt his hand retreat and we sat there awkwardly for another couple of minutes until I heard a strange sound.
I looked over to Ryan to find him chuckling to himself, and I couldn’t hold back the giggle that escaped my own lips.
“What?” I asked curiously.
“Just… this,” he finally said. “This whole situation. I’ve been trying so hard to get your attention, to just make you see I liked you.”
“I’m sorry,” I confessed guiltily. “I just don’t feel that way.”
“Don’t be sorry.” Ryan reached for my hand again, but this time around, he just squeezed it gently. “I totally get it. We were friends before, it’s weird.”
I looked away feeling guiltier than ever. It wasn’t really about that, was it?
I hadn’t liked Ryan when we were kids. He was a lanky, scaredy-cat wuss, but since then he had sure as hell grown up. I could see myself falling for him… we had so much in common, and he was so handsome.
But there was someone else, and I could no longer deny the feelings I had for him. For Levi.
“Yeah,” I lied smoothly. “It would just be weird.”
Ryan nodded and got up briskly, offering me a hand to help me get up. I accepted it gratefully, feeling happy we were able to move past the little mess we’d almost gotten ourselves into. The last thing I wanted to do was fight with him.
“What do you say we head back home?” he asked. “I’ll drop you back at your place. And we don’t have to speak about this again.”
“Okay,” I said, and he pulled back, going towards the car. “Ryan, wait.”
He gave me a quizzical look over his shoulder and I ran up to him, timidly wrapping my arms around him. He seemed surprised, but after a second or two, he returned my friendly hug.
“I just wanted to thank you,” I said shyly. “Today meant a lot to me, and I’m sorry we dropped out of touch. You’re a good friend.”
“I know,” he teased. “You’re the bad one.”
I punched his shoulder and ran after him. I chased him all the way to the parking lot, and if it wasn’t for the constant, needy ache for Levi between my legs, I could almost convince myself I was a little kid again.10LeviIt was past eight p.m. when I heard a car pull up on our driveway.
I was furious. Fucking fuming, worried sick and angry as a bull. Whoever had her was going to get a piece of my mind, and then a taste of my fist.
I rushed out of the house with Amanda steady behind my feet. Their mother was still not home, off on some project or other, but more likely than not out fucking someone who was most definitely not her husband.
The car stopped and the driver’s door opened. A guy walked outside, a guy because he wasn’t a man yet. He looked about Amanda and Kendall’s age, and he was grinning from ear to ear as he opened the passenger door.
Kendall’s long legs swung out first, with a light tan and her pretty white eyelet dress riding up. She was barefoot, her dainty little toenails painted a bright fuchsia shade. She carried her sandals in her hand, and she had sunglasses pushed up on her brow. Her nose and cheeks were peppered with fresh freckles from the sun, which hadn’t been there earlier in the day.