I sit a little higher, unable to hide like I know I should. For some reason I desperately want to see her. I almost need to. I don’t want to talk to her and pretend that everything is okay, but I just want one look at my beautiful sister after so much time has passed. It’s been too long.
Oh my God . . .
There she is looking more beautiful than she did two years ago. Her long, blonde hair is twisted into a braid and clipped in a side bun, with little flowers sticking out, and her dress is the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on. She truly is a beautiful bride, and seeing her causes my heart to swell with unwanted pride.
I see her looking my way, trying to spot me out. Her eyes meet mine and I see her suck in a breath as if she’s about to cry. It causes me to almost have a breakdown. I find myself squeezing Kyan’s leg so hard that my nails are probably digging into his skin through his pants, but he allows me to do it without complaint.
Our eyes stay locked, taking each other in, until they can’t anymore. This is so hard. God, I love her so much. I’m starting to lose it and I don’t want anyone to see me burst into tears.
I start to shake as the unwanted tears fill my eyes. The priest is talking, but I can’t concentrate on any of his words. I feel as if I’m about to break into a sob at any second.
“It’s okay.” Kyan grabs my face with both hands and forces me to look him in the eyes. “Look at me, okay. Keep your eyes on me. There’s no one here but the two of us.”
I nod my head and speak through my tears. “Okay,” I whisper.
His eyes keep mine captured as the rest of the world goes on around us. It’s as if we’re taking this moment to read each other and really see what the other is feeling.
His face looks pained as if he’s carrying my hurt. It suddenly makes me ache for him and not for myself anywhere.
He must notice my change in emotion because his eyes bounce back and forth between mine, before he wraps his hand into the back of my hair and pulls me in for a kiss.
When his lips meet mine, my whole world stops, and I feel as if I’m melting into him. He’s never kissed me outside of sex before and it definitely has my emotions running wild. This is new for him.
His lips move with mine as if he’s lost in me and he wants nothing more than to own me with this kiss . . . and he does. This one kiss owns me, along with my heart.
The feel of his tongue sweeping across my bottom lip causes flutters in my stomach. His kiss is so gentle, yet filled with so much passion that I feel breathless in his embrace.
He pulls away and rubs his thumb over my check, leaving me utterly speechless. “You look beautiful,” he whispers. “So damn beautiful that I’m feeling things I haven’t felt in a long time.”
My heart swells from his words and I find myself gripping onto his hands as he holds my gaze, being sure I don’t have to witness the worst part of it all. He’s got my complete attention, and to be honest, no one else can capture it quite like he does. I could sit here and look into his eyes forever and never get tired of trying to figure them out.
Before I know it people are starting to stand around us and we’re the only ones still sitting here just staring at each other.
I swallow and pull away from his eyes to see that the wedding party is preparing to walk back down the aisle. Everyone is now standing proudly to watch Chrissy and Jordan take their final walk hand in hand as husband and wife.
My eyes fall on my sister as she makes her way down the aisle. The first thing I notice are the tears of joy on my sister’s face. She truly looks as if her dream has just come true, her happily ever after. Her eyes go from looking at Jordan to seeking me out.
She notices Kyan and me together, and a huge smile appears on her face as she nods at me and then continues to pass. That one little smile is almost enough to break through my wall and make me want to run to her, but I don’t.
Wow . . . it doesn’t even feel like five minutes have passed when in reality it’s been at least twenty, and Kyan’s eyes didn’t leave my face once.
Grabbing my hand, Kyan stands up and helps me to my feet. He slips an arm around my waist and presses his lips to the side of my forehead as we wait for a clear exit.
We stand here as each row of people makes their way outside and lines up with bubbles before Kyan walks me down the aisle and outside.
He grabs a thing of bubbles and hands it to me. “Do you want to do this? You don’t have to. Don’t push yourself if it hurts too much.”
Deciding that I need to be strong, I take the bubbles and begin to open the cap while nodding my head. Seeing Chrissy and Jordan walk down the aisle, happily in love, has made me realize how much time has truly passed between us and I’m beginning to question if it was all worth it.
It’s also made me realize that what I felt for Jordan is completely gone. I feel nothing but anger when I look at him. It’s my anger that has kept me away for so long, not a broken heart from the loss of Jordan like I thought.
Looking at Chrissy gives me a feeling of loss and pain. It’s family that truly matters. It’s losing her as my sister that hurts the most. I need to let go and learn to let her in again. I’ve been weak and it’s time that I stand up straight and be strong for the both of us. It’s just going to take time to truly forgive her.
Kyan stands behind me and wraps his arms around my waist as I begin blowing bubbles at the newlyweds when they pass. Having him nearby seems to make things easier. He gives me that sense of peace that I’ve been seeking.
He’s managed to be my peace through the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life . . .
AFTER THE CEREMONY KYAN HELPED pack up Tori’s equipment and then unpack it again once arriving at the reception.
Tori mostly stood back with a grin on her face and watched him do the work, but you get what I mean. As soon as she noticed me standing around with Kyan, she practically screamed. Her words were, “I knew he’d show up.”
That’s crazy, because I had no idea. I still honestly cannot believe that he is here right now. I can’t stop looking at him and smiling. He notices and smiles back each time, looking as if he’s the happiest man on earth.
Right now, he’s standing by the bar chatting with my father. I see them both casually look my way and I can’t help the nerves that shoot through me. I have no idea what they’re discussing, but they both look extremely happy.