“Put your arms around my neck,” I tell her, and she does without hesitation. It brings the front of her up against my chest and abs, and the softness of her tits behind her T-shirt makes me feel powerful. She’s so tiny, delicate, with gentle curves, everything so feminine, and it makes me feel all the more male with her wrapped around me.
I carry her back to the room I saw her disappear into earlier and close the door behind us, even though we’re here alone. It makes it feel more forbidden, being enclosed in the room alone with Ms. Richards. Evelyn. Before tonight, I’d never been alone with her but for the briefest of moments when everyone exits the library. And now I’m here in her house, in her bedroom, and I’m about to get her naked.
I guide her down my body until her feet touch the floor, unraveling her hands from behind my neck, and take a step back from her. She waits for my instruction, and I’m overwhelmed with the possibilities. Not wanting to seem like some inexperienced chump, I’ll go with the things I’ve fantasized about over and over. If I have it my way, we’ll be checking off many things on my list of the positions and scenarios I’ve imagined her in. But for now, I’ll start with the one that never fails to get me off.
I take a few steps backward until I meet the wall and lean against it, crossing my ankles and then my arms over my bare chest. The lights are dim, only a small lamp on near her bed, so I’m in the shadows while she’s more lit.
“I’ve fantasized about this moment since the first day of school,” I admit in a low tone. “That first time I walked into your library for study hall, and you introduced yourself as the new librarian. And then you gave that little speech about it being your first job, right out of college. How it was your dream job.” She narrows her eyes as she tries to see me clearer, but I know my features are hidden in the shadows. “I knew it was my family who had given you your dream job, and for some reason, it made me feel like you were indebted to me. In a roundabout way, I had made your dream come true.”
She doesn’t say anything, and I can see her fighting the urge to fidget, to stay in her role as my submissive. I continue on, wanting her to know more about me.
“You show up to school every day in your perfectly pressed blouse and pants, your pretty little shoes, your hair straight and neat, your nails never even chipped. For a guy like me, who needs order, who needs things straight, and clean, and aligned, and perfect… you were easy to become obsessed with. And then the first time you cowered from me, flinched away at a loud noise I made, blushed at the shit I say to you… it made me feel powerful. Powerful in a way I’ve always craved but never had an outlet for. Unable to give in to these… desires, these urges,” I tell her, still keeping my voice lowered, even, not wanting to scare her, while I confess how fucked up I am.
“I’ve fucked countless girls, Evelyn.”
She flinches then, and I don’t know if it’s because I dropped an F-bomb or if it’s because she doesn’t like thinking about me with anyone else.
“I’ve lost track of how many girls I’ve been with. But I have always, always kept a tight leash on what I’ve always thought of as a monster, a beast inside me. Afraid to get too rough. Worried I’d accidentally hurt them. It’s always been soft touches and steady, measured movements. Gentleness. And while they’ve all seemed to enjoy that, seeing as they always want to come back for more, it leaves me unfulfilled, unsatisfied. Empty. Yeah, my cock got off—” I step out of the shadows and closer to her, and I see her leg muscle tense and relax as she denies her instinct to take a step back. I approach her slowly, languidly, liking the way she holds my gaze, even though I see the fear mixing with her desire for me. “—but it did nothing for my soul. I didn’t feel anything in my heart. It felt like something was missing, like I was doing it all wrong. And then I met you.”
I trail my fingertip along her jaw, tipping her chin up when I reach it. “And my fantasies of the things I wanted to do to you filled my head while I stroked my cock made me come so good, so thoroughly. To the point that I got more fulfillment, more satisfaction from fucking my own fist than I ever did fucking any of those other girls.” I lean down and press a kiss to her lips. Gentle this time, instead of the ones I surrendered to in her library. “And so I haven’t been with anyone else since that first time I fucked you inside my mind, because I knew it was pointless. No one could measure up to you, Evelyn.” I whisper the last part, looking deep in her eyes, and it has the exact effect I was hoping for when I told myself I should be honest with her.