“They should do it doggie style.”
I burst out laughing. “No, Evan. Sheesh. The sex has to further the story and say something about the hero and heroine and their relationship. You have to hook the reader, engage their minds and their emotions. Sex in a romance is a reflection of the hero and heroine’s growing intimacy.”
“Evolution through screwing, huh?”
“Basically, yeah. So you can’t have them doing doggie the first time they hit the sheets. Where’s the romance in that? It’s a straight up horny porn position. Him behind her, out of her line of sight. That takes a certain amount of trust that probably hasn’t yet been established between them. And her staring at the headboard or pillows or whatever. She’s not getting to see how she’s affecting him, if this moment is as important to him as it is to her. Maybe he’s just getting off. Maybe he’s thinking about his ex. She doesn’t know.”
“Hmm.” The man does not sound convinced.
“Later on in their relationship when they’re just going at it hard, sure, great. But for their first time? That doesn’t work.”
Since the horrible scary news about Dad, I’ve gotten no work done. My head is an even bigger mess than normal. I’ve done little but pace and cry my heart out since Mom told me. And it’s not like I have tissues to spare for blowing my nose after crying jags either. An old tee has been sacrificed to the cause.
Luckily, Evan snapped me out of the panic spiral for the time being. With phone sex of all things. I did not see that one coming. I’m even smiling a little, though my parents are never far from my thoughts. Dad has got to be okay. He’s going to be okay. I couldn’t handle it otherwise. And poor Mom—stuck at home alone dealing with a seriously ill person and all of this. Unfortunately it’s too late for me to fly home to Texas, so there’s no point even worrying over it or feeling guilty. Doesn’t stop the negative thoughts from filling my mind and affecting my mood. I couldn’t be more thankful for Evan’s support right now. He’s slowly easing his way into my heart as well as my panties.
“I strongly disagree. I think there’s plenty of romance in smacking and tapping a gorgeous round ass. Sliding your hand up a woman’s spine and grabbing her hair, giving it a tug. It’s a beautiful thing. How can you not see that, Sadie? Where’s your imagination?” He chuckles.
I finish off the last of the coffee and take another cautious sip of the smoothie. So green. My body won’t know what hit it with all of this healthy stuff. “Doggie style is pure smutty fun sex. I have nothing against the position. It definitely has its place in the bedroom.”
“Or the living room, dining room, maybe even the kitchen.” His words are laced with innuendo.
“Yeah, but then you’re dealing with possible trauma to the girl’s knees. Stop and think. How is she going to wear a flirty short skirt out to dinner with the hero in the next scene if she’s got carpet burn or scratches from tiles, huh? Sheets and a mattress are just kinder all round.”
He chuckles. “You’ve given this a lot of thought.”
“It’s my job. I dissect relationships and sex for a living. Ponder the secrets of life and love. Figure out new ways to come at one of the oldest stories there is—two people falling for one another. Or more than two. I don’t write poly, but I sure read it.”
“You’re open to a threesome?” he asks, quick as a whip.
“I didn’t say that.”
“Hmm. On second thought, I don’t think I’m interested in sharing you. Forget I asked.”
“Will do. For what it’s worth, I feel the same. When we finally get to be in the same room together, I don’t think there needs to be anyone else, thank you very much. But back to the story…”
He clears his throat. “Right. So they meet during the lockdown and live near each other?”
“That’s right.” No need to go into too many details. Besides, I’m not exactly sure how I’d explain how semi-autobiographical certain aspects are. One major life disaster/concern at a time is best for now. “He rescues her from a mugging. Takes her up to his apartment. Offers comfort that evolves into sexual shenanigans.”
“Meaningful sexual shenanigans,” he corrects helpfully. Such a boy scout.
“That’s right. You have been listening.” I smile.
“Sadie, baby, I hang on your every damn word. How have you not noticed this yet?”
Oh God. My stomach drops through the floor. It kills me when he talks sweet to me. How his voice goes all husky, the volume dropping so that he’s whispering to me in a way that makes it seem like we’re the only two people in the whole wide world. The man goes to my head faster than champagne. I take another sip of the evil green drink to ground me. “I’m noticing, trust me.”