Page 20 of Cocky Bastard

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This is ridiculous! Why am I so nervous?

Zelda handed me my small bouquet of silk calla lilies. “Ready?”

A deep breath escaped me. “Sure.” Suddenly, I could feel myself starting to sober up. This was not the time to lose my alcohol high.

When I appeared at the threshold that led to the small aisle, Chance was waiting with one hand crossed over the other. He was still wearing the same fitted black button-down shirt he had on at dinner, except a small boutonniere was now pinned to the front. He looked so handsome and…nervous, too. This was the weirdest experience.

As the music played, I took very slow steps toward him. My heart was beating through the tight lace fabric hugging my breasts. Halfway down the aisle, I tripped over my dress and nearly wiped out. Chance snorted and started to crack up, and I couldn’t help laughing, too. That definitely lightened the mood for the rest of my trip down the aisle.

Zelda gestured for my bouquet as she positioned herself diagonally behind me. Apparently, she was my maid of honor, too. Elvis started to speak.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union of Chance Engelbert Bateman and Aubrey Elizabeth Bloom in holy matrimony…”

“Engelbert?”

He winked and whispered, “Not really.”

Elvis continued, “Which is an honorable estate that is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently and soberly.”

“Not exactly soberly,” Chance cracked.

“If anyone can show just cause why they may not be lawfully joined together, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.”

We both looked behind us to the empty seats. You could have heard a pin drop.

“Who gives this woman to be married to this man?”

Zelda spoke from behind me, “I do.”

“Will you be using standard vows, or do you have your own?”

We answered at the same exact time.

“Standard,” I said while Chance blurted out, “I have my own.”

“You have your own?” I whispered.

“Yeah.” He grinned.

“We’ll start with the bride then.” Elvis recited the standard vow, and I repeated them word for word after him.

Then, it came time for Chance to speak.

He paused, closed his eyes briefly then looked into my eyes as he took my hands in his. “Aubrey, from the moment you opened your smart mouth and called me an asshole in the first few seconds we met, I knew you were a pistol. At first, I thought it was the stick up your ass. I later realized it was just a protective mechanism. You’d been hurt, and you didn’t want to let anyone in. Sometimes, those who put up the biggest shields are those who are protecting the biggest hearts. My Gram used to always say, if you want to know the size of a person’s heart, look at how they treat animals or those that can offer them nothing in return. For some reason, you decided to trust a random bloke long enough for me to figure out that you have the biggest heart there is. You are just as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside. You turned what started out as a miserable trip into the adventure of a lifetime. You can’t begin to understand how much this time with you has meant to me. If you take nothing else from this, please remember that you deserve to be happy.”

Tears were stinging my eyes.

Oh. My. God.

He’d caught me so off guard with that speech that it stunned me into silence. It was beautiful, but also sounded awfully like a cryptic goodbye.

There wasn’t a trace of humor in his expression. He’d meant every word.

I heard nothing else that Elvis said up until, “By the power vested in me by the state of Nevada, you may now kiss the bride.”

I wasn’t looking at Chance anymore. I just shook my head repeatedly to let Elvis know he should skip that part, that Chance and I wouldn’t be doing that. “We’re not gonna kiss.”

The next thing I knew Chance’s big, warm hands had cupped my face as he leaned in and growled over my mouth, “The fuck we aren’t.”

In an instant, his lips devoured mine. My legs went almost totally limp. My heart was beating out of control as he pressed his body into me. He nudged my mouth open unabashedly with his tongue as it went in search of mine. Unable to get enough of the sweet taste of his breath, I opened wider, letting him in. He moaned into my mouth as I moved my hands upward to tug on his silky hair. He stopped kissing me long enough to lightly bite my bottom lip before releasing it. The kiss then became hungrier. I had no idea how long it lasted because a sense of time didn’t exist for me anymore.

Elvis coughed. “Alright. That’s nice. We have another couple now waiting to get hitched.”

Chance pulled away.

Completely dazed, I looked up at him. His hair was all messed up from my fingers running through it. His stare was penetrating, and he looked just as bewildered as me.

What the fuck just happened?

The mood changed as we exited the chapel and found two couples waiting in the lobby. The first couple looked like they might skip the wedding and go straight for the honeymoon—right there in the lobby. The groom was dressed in an American flag suit consisting of red pants, a blue jacket spotted with stars, white shirt and a red and white striped tie. When he released his vacuum suck of his future fake bride’s face, he lifted her into his arms, and I saw that she had on a matching outfit, only hers was an American flag bikini.

“Do you speak Russian?” he asked Elvis, who had followed us into the lobby with Zelda in tow.

Elvis shook his head. “Bilingual services are extra. You need an appointment.”

“How much extra?”

“One hundred and fifty dollars. We have to pay the translator.”

The patriotic groom reached into his pocket and pulled out a small wad of bills. He frowned, and his fake bride started shouting something in what I could only presume was Russian. She stamped her foot and flailed her arms as she ranted.

Chance snickered and leaned into me. “And I thought you were a bitch.”

“Hey.” I smacked at his abs.

He smiled, and I was torn between being sad that the sexual tension had ebbed and being relieved we seemed to be back to our version of normal. Chance held his hand out to me. “Mrs. Bateman?”

Shit. I liked the sound of that. A lot.

I put my hand in his, and Zelda ran over. “Would you like to do your wedding photos inside or outside? We have a lovely gazebo and pond out back. There’s even a swan in the pond. She has an injured wing, but she looks beautiful in the background of photographs.”

“We’ll do them inside,” Chance responded quickly.

“But the swan sounds nice.”

“We don’t have room for another pet. I’m not letting you near that thing.”

I rolled my eyes. “We can just skip the pictures.”

“Not a chance, Princess. Harry needs one of those babies.” A dirty grin tempted at the corner of his lips as his eyes dropped to my chest. I had some serious cleavage trying to spill out in that form fitting dress. “Plus. You…in that dress…that’s top of the toilet tank material right there.”

“Pervert.”

We posed for four pictures; it was reminiscent of dreadful prom photos. The last photo, Zelda made a suggestion. “How about something romantic now?”


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