Nino kissed me, taking the lead as he always did. He unfastened my bikini top and bottoms, which fell in a wet heap on the floor, before he steered me backward until I fell on the bed. He climbed over me, his strong body pressing into me as he captured my lower lip in his mouth and sucked as he rocked his erection against me, sending a shockwave of desire through me.
My mind wandered to the one thing I’d been thinking about often in the last few days—finally going down on Nino. I’d been meaning to do it for a while but always lost courage. For some reason, I couldn’t forget how degrading and disgusting it had been to go down on my uncle. He’d forced himself into me until I felt I was choking, until my throat and mouth were tender. Whenever I considered pleasuring Nino with my mouth, the same horrible images flooded my mind, followed by a nagging worry that I’d still feel degraded and dirty when going down on him. I desired Nino, every part of him. I loved how he gave me pleasure with his mouth and I wanted to return the favor.
“Kiara?” Nino asked quietly, drawing back, searching my face. I must have become still under him.
“I … I want to put my mouth on you,” I said. Even voicing the wish cost me a lot. It felt wrong to say it, to want it, and I was scared that despite my desire to do it, the images of the past would win, that a small part of my uncle remained wedged in my brain.
Nino didn’t say anything at first, but I could tell by the brief flicker of desire in his expression that he wanted this. I supposed I shouldn’t have been surprised. He’d been on the receiving end of that kind of attention in the past, with other women. And he pleasured me with his mouth almost daily. Of course he’d want it.
“On my cock?” he asked carefully.
Flushing, I nodded. “I want to try to give you…give you head.”
Nino’s face softened. “Okay.” He rolled off me and lay down beside me. “Come.”
I sat up and knelt beside his hips, then curled my hand around his shaft.
“Would you like me to tell you what to do?”
I considered that. “I don’t know if … if I …”
Nino squeezed my thigh gently. “Take your time and if you want to stop, stop.”
“You won’t go down my throat … right?” I whispered, feeling a wave of shame wash over me.
“I won’t thrust into your mouth unless you want me to. I’ll try not to move at all.”
“Okay,” I said softly.
I stroked him for a while, enjoying his silkiness and feeling my own arousal spike once more just from touching him. I loved Nino’s body, the way he made me feel, the way I could make him feel. Gathering my courage, I bent my head down and cupped the tip with my lips, tasting him for the very first time. He twitched and I tasted a hint of saltiness. I looked up, finding Nino watching me with unabashed hunger.
Emboldened by his reaction and my body’s need, I twirled my tongue around his tip before I began to bob my head up and down slowly, testing my limits.
Nino brushed my hair away then touched my neck. I became still, slowly pulling away, fighting the images of the past. My gaze darted up to his face and as usual I found solace in his calm.
“I wanted to hold your hair so it doesn’t bother you. I won’t tug at it and I won’t push you down,” Nino said quietly, his thumb rubbing my neck.
“I know,” I said, because I did know. My body reacted before my mind could catch up.
With a small smile, I tasted him again, then ran my tongue around his tip, enjoying his softness, his scent, his taste. Everything kindled my own desire and I could have cried from relief. I established a slow rhythm. Nino stayed true to his promise, lying completely still beneath me. Only his hand fisting the blanket gave an indication how much he struggled to stay put.
Nino moaned, his muscles tensing. His hand on my neck tightened then he relaxed it quickly. “I’m going to come if you keep it up.”
I nodded, and kept up my sucking. My mind began whirring when I felt his muscles twitch. I tensed as I tried to decide if I could swallow, if I could do this for Nino.
“Kiara,” he gritted out another warning.
I didn’t pull back. I wanted to do this, to beat the last shreds of my past into submission. Nino’s hand twitched a second before his body coiled tightly and then his erection jerked. With a low moan, Nino came. He made small rocking motions as he spilled into me. For a second I was frozen, awaiting the inevitable. My past to bulldoze my present, for my body to do what it had done many years ago, to retch, for bile to travel up my throat. The feeling of choking, of suffocating as my uncle held me in place.