A dark smile curled his lips. “Is that so?”
“Call Dante, call Valentina. They will tell you what I told you.”
“As if their word means anything. They are the enemy. You remember that, don’t you?”
“Then look for the person who took the photos. They probably shot more photos that prove my innocence. Isn’t it strange that Luca gets only the photos that make it look like I cheated? Perhaps someone wants to weaken Luca by destroying our marriage. Perhaps it’s the Outfit’s doing, or someone within the Famiglia.”
I could tell that Matteo was really considering it. “And you really think Luca needs you to be strong? You think they could weaken the Famiglia if they destroyed your marriage to my brother?”
I wanted to say yes, but I wasn’t sure about anything anymore. I was so broken up and confused.
“I would gladly die for Luca,” I said instead. “I love him more than anything else.”
Except for the child growing in me. Our child.
“Then perhaps you should take that knife and put your life down.”
I was stunned. “Do you think he’s better off without me? Luca loves me.”
Or loved? My heart clenched with a pain so acute I almost crumpled.
“He would return to being what he was before you. He’d be worse than that. He would be the monster he needs to be to reign over New York. Whatever small part of him was capable of love, maybe you killed it.”
I nodded mechanically, my insides churning violently as I fought for composure. I turned away from Matteo’s anger, unable to bear it because I knew he was right to be angry. Luca wasn’t a normal man. He was Capo. He was raised to be Capo and for me he’d risked so much, and now he thought I’d cheated on him. If I ever managed to gain his trust back, I’d never do anything without him ever again, not for Gianna, not for Lily, not for Fabi, not for anything in this world.
“You know I’ve watched our father shove a needle under Luca’s fingernails, have seen him cut Luca with a knife, have seen him beat Luca so hard he lost consciousness, but through all that, I never saw Luca show the agony he had on his face when he saw you with Dante.”
I cupped my mouth with my palm, and sobbed. I couldn’t bear the thought of having hurt Luca like that. “I didn’t cheat,” I choked out. “If you don’t believe me, torture me. You said it yourself once: if you use your knife on me, I won’t be able to keep a secret.”
Matteo walked around to face me and shook his head. “It doesn’t matter what I believe as long as Luca thinks you cheated.”
I touched his forearm. “Please, Matteo, help me prove my innocence. Please, not just for me.”
“Even if you didn’t cheat on him, you went behind his back. You visited enemy territory and risked not only your life, but also Luca’s. He would have put down his life in front of Dante to save you; had you thought about that when you strutted around Chicago?”
“I only wanted to see Fabi. It’s Christmas time,” I said voicelessly.
“Yeah, well, now we’ll all have a fucking marvelous Christmas, thanks to you.”
The corners of my vision turned black. I felt faint. I wasn’t sure if it was because of the pregnancy, because I hadn’t eaten anything in close to a day or because my heart was breaking. I swayed and my legs folded in on themselves.
“Fuck,” Matteo growled and grabbed my arms, stopping my fall. He helped me down on the sofa before he squatted in front of me. He grasped my chin and tilted my face up so I met his hard, relentless eyes. “You swear you didn’t cheat on Luca?”
“I swear it, Matteo. I would never cheat on Luca. I love him. There’s no other man and there won’t ever be.”
He sighed and released my chin. “I’ll try to get my hands on the photographer who took the photos, and then I’ll have a long talk with him. It won’t be easy. I can’t go to Chicago, and there are very few men I can send there in my stead, but there may be another way.... But even if I get my hands on the guy and he proves your innocence, I can’t promise that Luca will come around. The only reason he believed you cheated in the first place is because you went behind his back.” He shook his head again. “Fuck.” He straightened. “Are you sure you don’t want to see the Doc? You look a mess.”
“I’m sure,” I said quickly. I didn’t want the Doc to find out I was pregnant. He would tell Luca. He wasn’t bound by medical confidentiality like other doctors.
“I will release Gianna now,” Matteo said with a sigh.