Luca pulled me away from his brother and toward the steps leading up to the second floor. “Luca,” I began, but he tightened his grip in warning and I fell silent. Everyone was watching us. What needed to be said was something that was only between Luca and me.
I followed him inside the bedroom, then tried again. “Luca—”
He banged the bedroom door shut behind us and pulled me forcefully against him. The air whooshed out of my lungs from the impact against his muscled torso.
If I hadn’t been married to Luca for months now, I would have cowered under his scowl, but I loved him and he loved me. I had to trust in that.
“Where is Gianna?” he growled.
I shivered at the undercurrent of fury in his voice.
“I won’t tell you. No matter what you do.”
He kissed my throat, backing me up against the closed door. “Don’t say that.” When he raised his head, his expression had changed. He’d raised his barriers, shut me off. He stared down at me, then he pinned my wrists above my head, his grip on the verge of being painful. I winced. A joyless smile twisted his mouth. His eyes were guarded like he was considering me anew, like he was trying to gauge me. Calculating.
Fear settled in the pit of my stomach. Fear of what he’d do. But even worse: fear that I was losing him. That’s I’d lost the trust of a man who’d never before allowed himself to trust someone as much as me.
Luca nodded. “That look in your eyes. I’ve seen it thousands of times in other people’s eyes, but it’s been a while with you.”
His thumb pressed against my wrist and I could feel my pulse hammering against it, but I couldn’t do anything against it.
“I’m a young Capo, Aria. Younger than most of the older Underbosses like. Many of them want me gone. They are lying in wait for a sign of weakness.” He tilted his head. I tried to glimpse past the mask he’d put on, but for once I couldn’t. “Don’t be that weakness.”
I tried to free myself from his grip, but he didn’t budge. He was much stronger than I. Finally I narrowed my eyes at him. I wasn’t one of his soldiers, and most definitely not a weakness. “I’m not a weakness. Let me go and stop being cruel.”
“I’m not being cruel to you,” he growled. “You have never witnessed my cruel side, Aria. You’ve never seen anything close to it. If you think this is the extent of my cruelty, then you don’t know me at all.” He shook his head. “You are a weakness I can’t afford. It would be easy to change it. I know it wouldn’t take much to make you give up your secrets. Not because you don’t want to keep them, but because I’m too good at breaking people. I could break you so easily.”
In the months of our marriage he’d tried to keep me out of the business, but I wasn’t stupid.
“I know,” I whispered.
You wouldn’t even have to lay a hand on me to do it.
“You don’t know, that’s the fucking problem. I’ve burnt and beaten and cut. I’ve strangled and drowned people. I have done every horrendous thing you only have nightmares about, Aria. Gianna’s destination is less than a minute away if I try.”
By God, I knew. I had seen glimpses of what he was capable of when he’d dealt with others. I had seen the blood, had seen the darkness and excited glimmer in his eyes. I knew exactly what kind of man he was. But God help me, I loved him despite it all. Loved him more than anything else in this world. I forced my body to relax in his grip even though it was the hardest thing I’d ever done. Luca felt it too, and his brows drew together.
“Then do what you must do, Luca,” I whispered, and I could say it without hesitation because I knew no matter how angry he was, no matter how dark the times were, he would never hurt me. I trusted him completely.
He smiled joylessly and leaned closer, his thumb pressing against my wrist once. “This betrays your true feelings, Aria. I know you are scared.”
My body fears you, but not my heart. “I am,” I admitted. “But not of the pain and not of you.” That was a lie—the prospect of pain scared me very much—and we both knew it but I continued, “The thing that scares me most is that you won’t trust me again, that I ruined the best thing in my life, that I hurt the person I love the most.”
Luca’s expression could have brought down worlds with its intensity. He released me like he had been burnt and whirled around, then he stalked into the bathroom. I knew I shouldn’t have but I followed. He was clutching the washbasin, glowering at his reflection. His gray eyes shone with fury. When he spotted me in the mirror, he jerked his hands up and ripped the washbasin off the wall. “Damn you, Aria. Damn your fucking love. Damn it all.” He released the washbasin and it fell to the ground, broken. I took a step in his direction because with him I simply couldn’t stay away.