Father’s lips curled in disgust. “Go to college? Are you really that stupid? You are going to be Matteo’s wife. You are going to warm his bed and bear his children. End of story. Now go to your room before I lose my patience.”
Lily sent me a pleading look. What had once been Aria’s job was now Lily’s: keeping me out of trouble. If it hadn’t been for her, I would have continued the fight. I didn’t care if Father beat me over and over again, it wouldn’t change my mind.
I turned on my heel and ran up to my room where I grabbed my phone and flung myself on my bed. I speed dialed Aria and after the second ring she answered. Hearing her voice, the tears I’d been holding back, slipped out. At least, our bastard of a father couldn’t see them.
“Aria,” I whispered. The tears were coming faster already.
“Gianna, what happened? What’s going on? Are you hurt?”
“Father’s giving me to Matteo.” The words sounded so ridiculous. Nobody in the outside world would even understand them. I wasn’t a piece of furniture that could be handed over to someone and yet that was my reality.
“What do you mean he’s giving you to Matteo?”
“Salvatore Vitiello spoke to Father and told him that Matteo wanted to marry me. And Father agreed!”
“Did Father say why? I don’t understand. I’m already in New York. He didn’t need to marry you off to the Familia too.”
“I don’t know why. Maybe Father wants to punish me for saying what I think. He knows how much I despise our men, and how much I hate Matteo. He wants to see me suffer.” That wasn’t exactly the truth. I didn’t really hate Matteo, at least not more than I hated every other Made Men. I hated what he stood for and what he did, hated that he had asked Father for my hand like my opinion didn’t matter.
“Oh, Gianna. I’m so sorry. Maybe I can tell Luca and he can change Matteo’s mind.”
“Aria, don’t be naïve. Luca knew all along. He’s Matteo’s brother and the future Capo. Something like that isn’t decided without him being involved.”
“When did they make the decision?”
After I was stupid enough to kiss him. “A few weeks ago, even before I came to visit.” I couldn’t tell her that it had happened at her wedding. Aria would only figure out a way to blame herself for my misery.
“I can’t believe him! I’m going to kill him. He knows how much I love you. He knows I wouldn’t have allowed it. I would have done anything to prevent the agreement.”
Aria sounded remarkably like me in that moment, and while my heart swelled with love for her because of her willingness to protect me, I couldn’t allow it. Maybe Aria didn’t see it, but Luca was a monster and I didn’t want her to get hurt, not for me, not when it was already too late. “Don’t get in trouble because of me. It’s too late anyway. New York and Chicago shook hands on it. It’s a made deal, and Matteo won’t let me out of his clutches.”
And I knew it to be true. Even if he decided he didn’t want me, he would never admit it. I’d always thought I could evade marriage, had always thought I could figure out a way to go to college, to find a life away from the mob world.
“I want to help you, but I don’t know how,” Aria said miserably.
“I love you, Aria. The only thing that stops me from cutting my wrists right now is the knowledge that my marriage to Matteo means I’ll live in New York with you.” I’d never considered suicide a valid option, had never felt miserable enough to do it. But sometimes it felt like the only choice I had left in my life, the only way to decide my own fate and to ruin Father’s plans was actually when to end it. But I’d never actually go through with it. I couldn’t hurt my siblings like that, and despite everything I clung to life too much.
“Gianna, you are the strongest person I know. Promise me you won’t do anything stupid. If you hurt yourself, I couldn’t live with myself.”
“You are much stronger than me, Aria. I have a big mouth and flashy bravado, but you are resilient. You married Luca, you live with a man like him. I don’t think I could have done it. I don’t think I can.” I’d seen glimpses of Matteo’s darkness in New York when he’d offered to kill Aria’s attacker to make me happy, and afterwards in his eyes when he’d been covered in blood like Luca. There hadn’t been regret or guilt in his gaze then. Sometimes I thought he was the more dangerous of the two because he was less in control. Sometimes I thought he hid how messed up he was with his outgoing personality.
“We’ll figure it out, Gianna,” Aria said.
I knew she couldn’t do anything.
***
That evening Matteo fucking Vitiello actually dared to call my phone. I ignored him. There was no way in hell that I’d talk to him. Not after what he’d done. If he thought this was over, if he thought he’d won, then he had another think coming.CHAPTER FOURMatteo
I was ready for this fucking day to be over. First Father’s funeral, and now hours of discussion with the Cavallaros and Scuderis about ways to keep the Russians at bay and to show them who was boss. It wasn’t like I needed time to grieve. Luca and I hadn’t harbored any feelings except for contempt and hatred for our father in a very long time but I wasn’t a fan of funerals and everything they entailed. Especially seeing my stepmother cry her fake tears had grated on my fucking nerves. Did she really think anyone believed she actually missed her sadistic husband? She’d probably spit on his carcass when nobody was looking. It’s what I wanted to do.