Luca kissed my chin, then my lips. “Aria.” My eyes finally met his. His expression reflected some kind of inner struggle. I wrapped my arms around him, my palms coming to rest on his flexing back. Resolve claimed his expression.
He shifted his hips and the pressure increased. I tensed even further and Luca let out a harsh breath. “Relax,” he said as he cupped my cheek and kissed my lips. “I’m not even in yet.” His hand caressed my side down to my thigh. He cupped it and opened me a bit wider. Then he pushed in slowly. I tightened my hold on him, pressing my lips together. It hurt. God, it hurt like hell. He would never fit. I whimpered when the tearing sensation got too much and tensed even further. Luca halted in his movement, jaw clenched. He brought one of his hands up and cupped my breast, rubbing and twisting my nipple.
“You are so beautiful,” he murmured into my ear. “So perfect, principessa.” His words and his teasing of my breast made me relax slightly and he pushed in a bit further. I tensed again. Luca kissed my mouth. “Almost there.” He slid his hand down my body, fingers ghosting over my belly until he brushed my folds. He rubbed my clit slowly and I exhaled. Through the pain and discomfort I could feel small bolts of pleasure. Luca took his time teasing my clit and kissing me. His lips were hot and gentle, and his finger sent tingling sensations through my body. Slowly, my muscles loosened around his cock.
Rocking his hips forward, he pushed all the way in and I gasped, my back arching off the bed. I squeezed my eyes shut, breathing through my nose to get through the pain. I felt too full as if I was going to rip apart. I buried my face against Luca’s throat, and started to count, trying to distract myself. ‘It gets better’, that’s what the women said at my bridal shower, but when?
Luca moved, slowly and just an inch, but it hurt too much. “Please don’t move,” I gasped, then I pressed my lips together in shame. Other women had gone through this and they had lied back and suffered through it. Why couldn’t I? Luca’s body became taut like a bowstring. He touched my cheek as he pulled back, forcing me to look at him.
“Does it hurt that much?” His voice was pure restrain, eyes dark with an emotion I couldn’t place.
Get a grip, Aria. “No, not that much.” My voice caught on the last word because Luca had twitched. “It’s okay, Luca. Just move. I won’t be mad at you. You don’t have to hold back for me. Just get it over with.”
“Do you think I want to use you like that? I can see how fucking painful this is. I’ve done many horrible things in my life but I won’t add that to my list.”
“Why? You hurt people all the time. Only because we’re married you don’t have to pretend to care for my feelings.”
His eyes flashed. “What makes you think I have to pretend?”
My lips parted. I didn’t dare to hope, didn’t dare to read too much into his words, but God, did I want to.
“Tell me what to do,” he said harshly.
“Can you hold me close for a while? But don’t move.”
“I won’t,” he promised, then kissed my lips. He gritted his teeth as he lowered himself completely. We were incredibly close, not even a sheet of paper would have fit between us. Luca curled one arm under my shoulders and pressed me against his chest, and then we kissed, our lips gliding over each other, our tongues tangling, soft and teasing. Luca caressed my side and my ribs before sneaking a hand between us and drawing small circles on my nipple. Slowly my body became slack under his soft caress and the taste of his mouth on mine. The pain between my legs became a dull ache and my core loosened around Luca, my body growing accustomed to his size. Luca didn’t seem to notice or he chose to ignore it, instead he kept kissing me. His fingernail scraped my nipple and a flicker of pleasure spiked between my legs. I drew back, my lips raw and hot from our kiss. Luca’s eyes were hooded.
“Can you still…?” I asked.
He shifted and I could feel how hard he was. He hadn’t softened at all. My eyes widened in surprise.
“I told you I’m not a good man. Even though I know you’re hurting, I still have a boner because I’m inside you.”
“Because you want me.”
“I’ve never wanted anything more in my life,” Luca admitted.
“Can we go slow?”
“Of course, principessa.” Still holding me close, he withdrew a few inches watching my face. The look of concern on his face released a knot in my chest.
I exhaled. It still hurt but not nearly as much as before and behind the pain was the hint of something better. Luca eased back into me and found a slow and gentle rhythm. I soaked in the feel of Luca’s strong body pressed against me, the sharp lines of his face. His eyes never left my face. He didn’t seem to mind the slow pace. The tension in his shoulders and neck was the only sign of how difficult this was for him. He changed the angle and a spark of pleasure shot through me. I gasped. Luca halted. “Did that hurt?”
“No, it felt good,” I said with a shaky smile. Luca smiled and repeated the motion, sending another tingle through me. He lowered his lips to mine. I wasn’t sure how long he kept up the slow rhythm, but I was getting sore and I knew I wouldn’t come. I wasn’t even close, despite the occasional flickers of pleasure. Dull pain still covered too much of it. I didn’t know how to say what I needed to say. He must have seen something on my face because he said. “Are you okay?”