Even that vague answer was more than a woman normally got. Then again, he probably didn’t think of me as his woman anymore.
“Do you think I’m disgusting?” I whispered, my voice breaking.
Hansen flipped me, covering my body completely. “Why the fuck would you say something like that?” he asked, in a tight tone.
“Because I killed someone,” I whispered. “Shot someone. Right in front of you. I’m sure murderess isn’t something you want your Old Lady to be? You’ve already got reformed whore on the list,” I continued.
Hansen jerked. He reached to turn on a lamp beside us. I squinted slightly until I got used to the light.
“Look at me,” he commanded.
I did as he ordered, expecting to see hardness, detachment in his eyes. Instead, his face was soft, his eyes looked at me the very same way they did that morning when he made me breakfast. When he changed my world.
“You promised not to use that fuckin’ word in reference to yourself again. I’m tempted to put you over my knee right now, but I’ll delay.” His eyes searched mine, swimming the depths of my soul. “Nothing will ever make me think of you as anything less than you are,” he promised. “And what you are, is magnificent.”
“But I shot someone,” I argued. “Right in the head.” My body jolted slightly at the memory.
Hansen’s face didn’t waver. His hand gently traced my lips. “Yeah, babe. You shot the piece of shit who tried to rob you of everything good in your life. Who took two loving parents away from a little girl. The man who didn’t succeed, thank fuck, in taking away your light, your goodness…” he paused. “You exacted revenge. You gave him what he deserved. And trust me, baby, he deserved to eat that bullet.” His brows furrowed. “Did I want you to have to be the one to deliver it? No. I meant what I said when I wanted to protect you from everything I could. I’m fuckin’ in awe you found it in yourself to bring him to justice. But I didn’t want you to have to do it. Wasn’t too keen on the time and place either,” he added with a small twinkle in his eye.
I stilled. Everything he said was something I could have wished for.
“So you don’t hate me?” I asked in a small voice.
“Jesus, babe, I could never hate you. Not when I love you more than anything in this world. Not when you own my heart,” he said firmly.
I sagged. Then I pounced. I pushed at his chest and managed to roll him, so I was straddling him. I didn’t waste any time, I attached my mouth to his, kissing him with a brutality I didn’t even know I was capable of.
All I knew was I needed him, and I had to have him inside me in that moment. It had to be rough and hard and all consuming.
The way his hands yanked off the tee I was wearing while he rolled me back onto my back and cocked my leg roughly to circle his hip, I knew he needed it too. His other hand tightly encircled my neck, not to the point of pain, but enough to make me feel, make my only thoughts be of him and his body.
“Need you inside me, now,” I demanded hoarsely, my mouth inches from his.
“Gonna eat your pussy first,” he growled, kissing me firmly before working his way down.
I cried out as his mouth fastened on my clit after paying close attention to my nipples. I was already ready to climax as he devoured me like a starving man. It was relentless, nowhere near the gentle, teasing way his mouth normally worked me. So, when I exploded it was a reflection of the brutal way he brought me to climax. I couldn’t even hold in my scream, especially not when his body settled over mine and plunged into me, hard, rough, and beautiful. His thrusts pounded against my tender flesh, causing the tension to build right as it had just settled. I could barely breathe as his mouth took control of mine, plundering it while he pounded into me, the taste if my arousal on his lips.
“You’ll always be mine,” he promised against my mouth. “Always, no matter what.”
His words were enough to send me over the edge once more, enough to take me past the brink of coherent thought. My mind only on the pleasure.
Hansen’s whole body turned taut and he buried his face in my neck, latching his teeth and marking me as he came.
When we were done, we were both sticky with sweat from our frenzied lovemaking, both breathing hard. Hansen hovered above me, watching me. He kissed my nose gently.
“I’ll always love you, babe, no matter what,” he said quietly.
Maybe it was the post orgasm glow or the resolution in those words, but something made me believe him. Made me think that despite the mess I was in, everything was going to be okay.
“Something Grim said before, got me thinking,” I murmured, tucked up against Hansen’s chest.
It was late. After we’d made love, Hansen had left to get us some food, which we ate in bed. He then made love to me again, this time slower, gentler, but no less mind-blowing. We had lain in silence a long while, until now.
“Yeah, babe, what’s that?” he asked.
“You were already planning on killing him?” I didn’t say his name. I never would. I’d heard somewhere that someone died two deaths. Their actual physical death, when they took their last breath, and another kind of death, when everyone in the world stopped saying their name. I had taken care of the first death, I was hell bent on taking care of the second as well.
I felt the chest below me tighten. “Yeah, we were,” he admitted.
I moved my head up to meet his eyes. “Why?” I whispered.
Hansen’s face turned hard. “Arianne called me not long after I left you yesterday,” he started.
I flinched thinking of the way that day had started. What he’d told me about his mother. I could only focus on one thing at a time, though. So I listened.