“If I had a choice…”
But he didn’t. Brea knew that.
“You’re only putting yourself at risk for me.” She dropped a hand to her stomach. “For us.”
“Yeah. To me, nothing matters more. This started over a job. And even after everything Montilla did to me, I was willing to let it go and to let the police handle it. But he’s making it personal because I’m keeping him from his son. Since killing me won’t get him what he wants, he’s determined to take a loved one from me.”
“So you can suffer the way he has?”
“Whether I squeal or suffer, he’s won. Montilla is determined and he’s dangerous. And he won’t stop. My only option is to put him in the ground.”
“I know.” He’d explained that once, but logic didn’t make her feel any less scared.
“Don’t worry too much, pretty girl. I’m just taking out the trash.”
“Don’t be flippant.”
“I got this. You and the little one just hang tight. I’ll do my best to return soon.” He eased from her body and gathered her into his arms. “Have you thought about any baby names?”
He was telling her what she wanted to hear and changing the subject to keep her from dwelling on the worst-case scenario. It killed Brea, but she put on a brave face because she believed in Pierce. If anyone could end Montilla, he could. Still, his question snaked pain through her chest. They both knew that if they didn’t have this conversation now, they might never have the chance.
She sniffed back tears. “Do you have any suggestions?”
He shook his head. “I’ve barely had time to get used to the idea you’re pregnant. Tell me the ones you’ve been considering.”
“If it’s a girl… My mom’s name was Lavinia, Liv for short. Since that’s a mouthful, maybe Olivia?”
“That’s pretty. My mom was Rose. That might be a nice middle name.” He stroked her hair and kissed her gently. “What do you think?”
Brea tried not to sob at the thought that he might be long dead before his son or daughter was ever born. “I love that. And if it’s a boy, I was thinking Pierce Jasper, for you and my dad.”
“I’m touched, but I’m not worth naming him after. Why don’t you—”
“I think you are. I think you’re the best thing that ever happened to me. You didn’t wrap me up and tell me I was too young or fragile for the world. You’ve encouraged me to be strong. You’ve taught me pleasure and love and…” The dam broke on her sobs. They wracked her whole body, and she couldn’t stem their tide. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with you gone.”
Especially if you never come back.
“Hey…shh. You’re going to be great. You’re signed up to learn what you need to know. Get every ounce of knowledge about home security from Matt when he comes. He’ll help you. So will Cutter. Lean on your dad. Everyone else? Fuck them. If they want to pass judgment, they should start by looking in a mirror. Focus on a healthy you and a healthy baby. The rest…we’ll take care of all that together as soon as I get back.”
She prayed more than anything that would be possible, but what was one man in the face of a murderous drug lord and his army?
“I will.” She sniffled.
“Oh, pretty girl. Don’t ever gamble. You have a terrible poker face.” He held her closer. “I’m here if you need to cry.”
“I’m so afraid. I’m trying to be brave for you, but…”
“I know, baby.” He cradled her cheek and brushed a kiss across her lips. “You can lean on me as much as you want right now. I got you.”
“I’ve got you, too.” She clutched him tight. “I need you to know that.”
Pierce looked inside her as much as he looked at her, as if he saw the real, deep-down her. “I do.”
Brea wished she could lose herself in his arms forever. “I love you.”
Something on his face changed. His expression opened, and for the first time, she felt the vulnerability under his strength. “The night I met you at the EM barbecue, I wasn’t looking for anything except brownie points from the bosses for making an appearance. When I left there, I already knew you’d change my life forever. I love you. No matter what happens, never forget that.”
Brea nodded as she wiped away hot new tears. “I won’t.”
Pierce eased from the bed and bent to kiss her again. “Neither will I.”
Her heart clutched as she watched him dress. She bit back the urge to promise him that if he didn’t come back, she would raise their baby to know his or her father was an amazing man, a fierce warrior who loved them with his whole heart, and had made the ultimate sacrifice to protect them. But she didn’t want Pierce to think she didn’t believe in him. She didn’t want to jinx him, either. So she swallowed her worries and slipped back into her nightgown and panties. She felt a chill without his arms around her, his skin blanketing hers, his flesh heating her, and his heart beating against hers.