He shook his head in bemusement because she was frustrating the hell out of him, but, when he stopped to think about it, hadn’t she always done that? She was unpredictable. As slippery as an eel. He had just made love to her but afterwards he had sensed those damned barriers going up again.
He headed for the second bathroom and turned the shower on cold, shivering as the icy rivulets coursed over his heated flesh. This was getting to be a habit, he thought grimly as he rubbed shampoo into his hair.
Afterwards, he went back into the bedroom to find Lexi already dressed. She was sitting at the dressing-table mirror and putting on mascara in front of some sort of magnifying mirror.
He pulled a fresh shirt from the wardrobe, wondering how she could she sit there looking so damned composed—as if nothing had happened. Dropping the towel, which was the only thing between him and nakedness, he saw her flickering glance reflected back at him in the mirror. He saw the faint flush which stained her cheeks and he smiled. Nice to know that she wasn’t completely immune to him.
‘Want to come over here and button up my shirt for me?’ he drawled.
‘You’re a big boy now, Xenon—I think you can probably manage on your own.’
But he noticed that the hand which replaced the mascara wand was trembling a little and he felt a disproportionate sense of triumph.
Kyra arrived soon afterwards, accompanied by her husband, Nikola, who was carrying their baby daughter, Ianthe. Lexi stared at Xenon’s pretty sister and her mouth broke into a wide smile.
‘Lexi!’ squealed Kyra, running across the courtyard and throwing her arms around her. ‘I can’t believe you’re actually here—or that you’ve stopped dyeing your hair!’
‘Nice to see you, too!’ laughed Lexi.
She hugged the younger woman tightly and was introduced to her rather serious-faced husband, Nikola. But Lexi knew she couldn’t keep putting off the inevitable and at last she turned her attention to Ianthe. The baby was plump and apple-cheeked, her features shaded beneath a silky bonnet designed to protect her delicate head from the sun.
Lexi could feel the stab of pain as she stared down at the button nose. She thought she could see a trace of Xenon’s mouth in the rosebud shape of her mouth—or was that just wishful thinking? She stroked one soft little cheek and felt a wave of longing washing over her as she looked down at the little girl.
‘Oh, Kyra, she’s beautiful.’
‘Isn’t she?’ Kyra beamed, her blue eyes glowing. ‘Well, I’m her mother so of course I’m biased, but Nikola agrees with me that she is the most beautiful baby in the world. And she sleeps. Oh, how she sleeps! Sometimes we can’t believe our luck, can we, darling? Oh look, here’s Mitera.’
Lexi looked across the courtyard to see Marina Kanellis walking towards them, unruffled and cool in a dress of pale linen. She kissed her daughter and son-in-law and then held out her arms for the baby, before raising her brows at Lexi.
‘That is unless you would like to hold her, Alexi?’
‘Yes, Lexi, hold her,’ urged Kyra.
Lexi held her breath and for one crazy moment it felt as if they were all looking at her and judging her. As if they were all conspiring in some secret experiment to see how much she would be affected by the presence of the baby. Xenon’s blue gaze seemed to be lancing through her and she wondered if her face was showing the irrational fear she felt inside.
But maybe this was what she needed to do. She couldn’t go through the rest of her life shying away from one of the most essential parts of it and babies were an essential part. Her brothers might go on to have families of their own—she certainly hoped so—and she would want to be a part of those families.
Tentatively, she nodded. ‘I’m not very good with babies.’
‘Oh, you’ll soon learn!’ said Kyra as Nikola put the little bundle in her arms.
Lexi held the baby close and breathed in her sweet, warm scent. She felt the weight of her small but surprisingly substantial body and hugged her closer.
‘See!’ said Kyra, with a note of triumph. ‘You’re a natural. You’ll make a great mother yourself one day, Lexi.’
Lexi couldn’t speak. For a moment she could scarcely breathe. Had they forgotten, or had they just chosen to forget? She wanted to say that she was a mother—and nobody could ever take that away from her. Just because her baby hadn’t lived, didn’t mean that she hadn’t once carried Xenon’s child, did it?
And then, to her horror, the infant turned her head, instinctively rooting around as her little mouth searched fruitlessly for Lexi’s breast. Despite the temperature, she stood frozen to the spot, hoping that the heat of the day hid her blush. ‘I think she may be hungry.’