Tahir tugged Annalisa close and she shut her eyes, grateful for his warmth as she imagined Rihana’s life with a cruel brute who didn’t love her.
‘Then when I was born I was different. I didn’t have the pale ice-blue eyes of his family. I stood out from him and my brothers.’
She stiffened, staring at his wide shoulder before her. ‘Your father didn’t think you were his son because your eyes were a darker blue?’
Tahir shrugged and she felt his muscles ripple. ‘He wasn’t a reasonable man. He was unhinged on the subject. My mother even suggested a DNA test, but he was paranoid news of it would leak. His pride wouldn’t countenance anyone knowing he might have been cuckolded.’
He paused, breathing deep. ‘It was no wonder I couldn’t please him no matter how I tried. He didn’t publicly accuse me of being a bastard. That would have reflected on his ability to keep his wife under control. Instead he made my life hell.’
‘He made you his whipping boy.’
‘Literally.’ There was no humour in his laugh.
‘And your mother?’
‘No, he didn’t beat her.’ Tahir must have read her mind. ‘He realised he could exact a more exquisite revenge by maltreating me and letting her know she was helpless to stop it.’ His hand tightened on her shoulder. ‘He’d shown his displeasure from the first, and she soon learnt that if she showed affection to me I’d pay for it.’
‘How she must have suffered.’ Annalisa shuddered at the idea of being unable to protect her own child. Short of running away and leaving her elder sons to the mercy of a vicious father, under traditional Qusani laws Rihana had had little power to stop it.
‘I never realised how much,’ Tahir murmured, ‘till you forced me to talk to her.’
‘Forced you? I—’
‘I’m grateful, Annalisa, believe me.’ His hand slipped down her arm in a slow caress that made her melt against him. ‘If you hadn’t brought up the subject I’d never have confronted my mother and known the truth.’
Annalisa luxuriated in his approving tone as much as in the sensation of chest hair and solid muscle beneath her cheek.
Grateful… It wasn’t love, but surely it was a start.
‘For years I thought she didn’t care.’ His voice was husky. ‘Now I know she distanced herself from me because any sign of love on her part provoked more furious retribution for me. She tried to protect me the only way she could.’
His hold on her tightened.
‘I was petrified he’d begin physically abusing her after I was exiled, but even then she wouldn’t break her silence.’ He paused, his breath fast and loud. ‘She feared he’d kill me if she returned my calls. He knew I’d tried to contact her again and threatened violent retribution if she spoke to me.’
‘Tahir!’ Annalisa clung close, her arms tight around his torso. ‘That’s monstrous!’
She felt him shake his head above her. ‘He was a monster. The damage he did.’ Tahir stroked the hair back from her brow. ‘Even when he died my mother didn’t call me. She thought she’d killed my feelings by seeming to turn her back on me. She was afraid I didn’t care for her.’
When all the time it had been the other way around. Tahir had believed his mother hadn’t loved him.
What would that do to a child?
Annalisa’s heart cracked even as fierce maternal protectiveness surged at the notion of anyone abusing her child like that.
Now she understood Rihana’s words. Tahir had had everything he wanted: success, wealth, women. But not the one thing he’d really craved.
Love.
Tahir had been without love, or believed himself without it, most of his life.
Jagged fear shot through her. He’d found pleasure and comfort in her body. Yet he’d committed himself only to a marriage of convenience. Would Tahir accept the one thing she wanted most of all to give him?
Would he accept her love?
He’d spent so long cultivating his independence and his self-belief as a man unworthy of deep regard, maybe he was no longer able to accept love or even believe in it.
Was he capable of reciprocating? Of loving her?
Annalisa found her answer the next day.
After a night of passion beyond anything she’d believed possible, after tenderness that brought tears to her eyes more than once, Tahir left.
Words of love trembled on her tongue, her heart so full she had to share her feelings.
Yet he looked so weary after another night without sleep. His expression settled into grim lines as he spoke of the need to oversee the rescue efforts and she didn’t have the heart to burden him with more.