Perfect.
They’re pissed, but I’m not sure that I care. With everything that has happened since I left, their disapproving vibes bounce right off me. I meant it when I told Cade that I need to repair things here, but I’m not going to take their crap either.
“Where’s Julianna?” I ask.
Eve’s blue eyes laser in on my face.“She thought you would be uncomfortable so she stayed home.”
“Why would I be uncomfortable?” I reach for Charlie’s margarita. “Her welcome home party couldn’t be any worse than you guys,” I declare, staring defiantly at Eve, who cocks her head, her long blonde hair spilling over her shoulder as her mouth twitches.
“Well, because you kissed her husband then disappeared, only to call and say you’d gone to New York without telling any of us and were staying with some stranger who’s in the Five Points’ Mob—”
“Look, I’m exhausted,” I grumble. “If you guys don’t want to listen to my side of the story, I’m going home for a much needed nap.”
“Cindy, we thought you’d been kidnapped,” Eve retorts.
“Phones work both ways. I didn’t notice you texting me…”
There’s a group inhalation as my words land the hit.
Antoinette reaches over to hold my hand. “What Eve is trying to say is we’ve been worried and are unsure about how to help you.” Supportive, sweet, fierce Antoinette squeezes my fingers. “This was our way of trying… I suppose it was a kind of interv—”
“I’m a fuckup,” I admit, not letting her finish her sentence. “Have been for a long time. I never told you guys about my past. Not because I didn’t trust you, but because I was ashamed. Even knowing all your histories, I never could admit mine, because that’d mean I’d have to look at myself, and that was not something I could deal with. The funny thing is, my past, what happened, it wasn’t my fault. I didn’t do anything wrong…”
That’s the moment I realize even Charlie is staring at me, and suddenly all these things that I’ve held in, pretended aren’t a part of me, are a lie. They loved me before; they’ll love me after. I’m strong and I deserve to be happy—they’ll want that for me.
Reaching for a tortilla chip just so I can destroy it with my fingers, I realize this might be the first time I’ve ever acknowledged my right to be content.
“See, by focusing on you guys, I never had to face my own horrors. But I’m not scared anymore because I’ve faced the monster and I came out alive.”
I must have stunned them silent because we all jump when Dolly sings, “Here we go.” She sets down five shots on the table. “Wait. What’d I miss?”
“Cindy’s having an epiphany.” Doug grabs her wrist to pull her down into the booth. “So, shut up.”
“Oh, thank God,” she whispers, pushing the shot in front of me and doling the rest out to everyone else.
Eve frowns at her as Antoinette squeezes my hand supportively again.
“Well, I met Cade—”
“We know that part,” Eve cuts me off. “What happened? Talk, Cindy. That last phone call you were hysterical, and I was getting ready to hop on a plane to rescue you.”
My mind drifts back to that day that seems so far away yet was only a week ago.
There’s no way to sugarcoat this… “I killed my father,” I blurt out.
Besides the music playing in the background, it’s like I blasted them with liquid nitrogen. Then, in a croak, Charlie grabs my arm and demands, “You… I don’t know… Go on.”
It’s more of a plea than anything.
“He murdered my mom.” I release a breath, ignoring their gasps of surprise. “God, that’s good to get out. Good to share. My father came to Cade’s building. See, he had gotten Cade arrested—”
“Wait. How did he know his address?”
“He was watching me, the sick fuck. He showed up at my place with this guy who Cade found out was a PI.” I lean back and cross my arms. “This is why I’ve always been so paranoid and scared. I’ve spent half my life thinking he’d have me kidnapped and brought home. Little did I know, the guy I was fucking was hired to do exactly that.”
“Oh, Cindy.” Antoinette rubs my shoulder, urging me to go on. “Cade betrayed you?”
Whatever. Might as well tell them all of it. It’s eating me up inside.