“He did, but it was a misunderstanding. My father was a successful surgeon, and he treated a lot of important men. The head of the Five Points’ Mob was one of them, and he sent Cade to bring me back to New York.
“When Cade realized what was going on, that it wasn’t just a case of some wild-child daughter being held against her will by a scary MC, he tried to make things right but it was too late. My father came to Cade’s building and hurt his mom too.
“When he held Cade’s sister, Kitty, hostage, I just snapped.”
I look at the red tablecloth, but the red becomes the blood that puddled around the dead bodies, and the sounds of the gun, the smell of the cordite in the air… it overtakes everything.
“Cindy? Dammit, Cindy! Cade got rid of the body?” Eve’s voice makes me jump. “Doug, nudge her before I lose my shit—”
“Y-Yes.” I blink at her. “He did.”
“No police were involved?”
“None.”
She heaves a relieved sigh. “Thank fuck for that.”
Doug clears his throat. “Why didn’t you come back after everything went down?”
“Well, I was in shock at first. And then Cade’s whole family rallied around me. They’re so amazing. He has three sisters and a brother, and his mother is fantastic. They’ve been wonderful…”
“So, is Cade here?” Eve looks over her shoulder as if he’s hiding behind the large plastic plant at the back of our booth. “He came with?”
“No, I… He’s in New York.” Grabbing the shot and downing it, I let the burn of the tequila distract me from their expressions.
“Why? He got rid of a body for you,” Charlie wails, looking like she wants to shake me. “Why did you leave him?”
“Because… he lied. Not just about why he started up with me, but about his feelings. I know he has them for me, I saw it, but he couldn’t say it and I’m not settling for a guy who won’t tell me how he feels about me.”
“Cindy,” Doug says slowly, “all I’m hearing is that you ran away again.” By the look on his pretty face, he’s not even trying to hold back his disapproval.
“No. I didnotrun. I didn’t even run the first time. I just needed some goddamn space.” I point a finger at him. “I told him the truth, that I loved him, and he had ample opportunity to say it to me. I didn’t need a fucking ring, Doug. Just confirmation that I wasn’t wasting my goddamn time with him.
“I guess in the back of my mind, I was hoping he’d stop me.” I shrug. “It’s fine. I needed to come home. I missed you guys, and I wasn’t happy with how I left things. I know I need to do better. I-I realized that in New York.” I reach for another shot only to have Charlie grab my wrist.
“It’s okay to feel all this. It’s also okay to let him love you. You are worthy of that.”
Her golden eyes hold mine as I set the shot down. “Well, that’s just it. What if he doesn’t love me? He’s never said it to me. Sure, I saw it in his eyes, but that’s not enough, is it?” Before she can reply, I retort, “And I agree. Idodeserve to be loved.”
She has no idea how hard that would have been for me to say just three weeks ago, but the words spill from my lips with ease today.
Today is what counts—not yesterday, hell, not even tomorrow.
One day at a time.
“You barely know each other,” Doug points out.
“Doug!” Dolly hisses. “Shut up! That’s not how love works.”
“What? I’m just saying! He’s a man. It’s almost impossible to get a guy to admit he loves you after only a few months of dating, never minddays…”
“Look, I don’t want to start crying, but I have over thirty years of self-doubt, pain, and destructive behavior to reconcile myself with. And Cade has his own shit he needs to fix in himself too.
“Sure, the chemistry is phenomenal, but that’s not enough for me. I could see myself staying just because I love his family when he grows bored of me and gets tired of having sex with the same woman—”
“Cindy,” Eve barks. “I completely get what you’re saying, but Doug may be right. It took Blade forever to admit that he loved me. You need to fight for it.”
“I don’t have to do anything. I’ve been fighting to keep my head up my whole life and it never turns out how I want.”